As promised Funeral Director here (waves)

Interesting thread thank you

To set some people’s mind at rest about seeing their loved ones - I’ve seen four loved ones in the chapel. At all times they looked to me like they were sleeping. One looked 20 years younger. Another looked less weary - I took that as he was no longer in pain. I’m so glad that I went to see them & was hugely comforting to me.

Is the wet cardboard smell from the embalming or the decomposition? I assumed embalming.

I've lost 2 loved ones in the last 2 months, only 3 weeks apart so I've seen our local fd more than I'd like and both my loved ones smelled like wet cardboard

One of them was elderly and had arthritis and her leg was permanently bent, it was requested that it was straightened to fit her in the coffin more comfortably but they said they couldn't mess around with the body and she was very twisted and uncomfortably looking, was there nothing they could have done?

This thread is very interesting!

At the moment I want to donate my organs to the NHS, and whatever is left can be sent straight to the crem. I have never been a fan of “fuss” and right now hate the idea of a funeral. My husband is the same. We are both in our 40s, so this could still change. If we do change our minds but have a funeral plan is it easy to amend?

The funeral director for my last three family funerals is someone I have known since childhood. Do you find it any different when the deceased's family are people known to you?

I have always wanted to be a funeral director, might look into it.

The question about contracted limbs i would like to know as well.
I once went to do an agency shift at a nursing home & a resident had died 2 days earlier, there had been a big problem with relatives & sorting out FD and they were still in the room.
Unfortunately no one had the sense to lay them out & flatten the bed so they were basically in a seated position.
I worked in Ireland & the attitude around death was so much better & we wld wash & lay out, close eyes, mouth etc of our residents, most didn't have family. We wld also "wake" them the night before funeral, usually next day. Death was never hidden or scary.

Please can I ask how you manage people who have severe limb contractures? Do they relax down after death, or would you need to break limbs in order to fit them into a coffin? Curious as I work with severely disabled people.

these two threads are great, can we have a GP next please? Not to answer health problem questions of course but questions about being a GP and procedures, protocol etc.

Is the Coop as bad as I think it is? We had an awful experience with them, they showed little to no respect to the body. I like to hope we just had a bad time with them and it’s not nationwide.

thank you for doing this. its so informative and interesting to know more about the behind the scenes processes. when my father died, i was so so grateful for the professionalism and care of the FD. they were amazing and caring at our lowest time.

Frumpety - some parts of the country do train nurses to certify a death I believe. Locally there is a hospice at home charity who provide nursing care to those with life limiting illnesses, and they have been working with the hospital and if I recall correctly the paramedics as well to train them on certifying a death where it has been expected due to terminal illness. They also offer bereavement counselling, and whilst they didn't end up providing nursing care for my Dad, their support and assistance with many matters running up to his death was superb, and they continued to keep in touch afterwards as well with the same kind of compassion as shown throughout and by the FD team.

What are the most popular times and days for a funeral?

What's the price difference between the least and most popular times and are the costs of the different times fixed or can they vary.
It reminds me a little of supermarket delivery slots. 🤔

Lifewill thank you , that's what I thought happened, out of hours GP's are often run off their feet at weekends though. Nurses who care for the person in their final weeks, days and hours in their home are often the first people there following a persons death or are actually present when someone dies. I think it would be appropriate for those nurses to have training to confirm a death in these circumstances, where a death is fully expected.

What a fascinating thread. Thanks for all your help and care, OP.

My question is, why do funerals happen so much later these days? Previously a funeral would take place around a week after the death. Now it seems it is about a three week internal between the death and the funeral. What has changed?

Can I put in my wishes that I absolutely do NOT want my mouth sutured?!