As promised Funeral Director here (waves)

Thank you oohnarna for starting this thread

When my dad died in his care home room, a couple of policemen were posted at the door to his room. Is that normal? What would be the reason for this?

I am not a fan of 'direct to crematorium' I think for some families they choose this because of cost and then they don't have a personal service which can effect their grieving process

Do you offer a version of a direct to crematorium service alongside your funeral service. Our family including both my elderly parents, my siblings and my own children all want a ‘direct to crematorium’ send off and it’s definitely not got anything to do with money. It’s more to do with the fact that none of us believe in the afterlife and non of us are religious. In our eyes once the person has died the body is of no relevance. We’ve all chatted about it and all seem to have the same views. I imagine that we would still have a family and friends get together just not one that involves a dead body. I could picture something like a walk along the beach and a few drinks at the pub with everyone who wants to be there.

I don’t think people should be put off choosing a direct to cremation send off if their reason for choosing it is largely based on spending as little as possible. I think it’s awful that some people feel pressure to spend more than they need to as some sort of proof of their love of the deceased person. People need to feel free to chose the type of service they want and can afford. I wonder if any funeral directors will start to offer something similar in the future.

Can you give an idea of the process after someone dies. On say a " straight forward" death of an elderly person in a hospital. Do you collect them on instruction from the family? What happens when you bring them back to the funeral home? Do you wash them? Dress them?

another one (a bit political) the london coroner who was forced to process deceased of certain religions as priority.
does this cause you issues? it means that time to funeral can be 4-6 weeks after death for others.

@TodaysMostPopular everyone is cremated separately. If you watch a video on YouTube called Do I Get The Right Ashes? It’ll clear it all up for you x

Lemonade thank you! Xx

@oohnarna May I ask you some questions via private message please? I would ask on this thread but the questions may be upsetting to some posters due to the nature of the subject.

when someone dies, what order do things happen in? Who calls you, for instance? And will you collect the body without the family being there from, say, hospital?

In films when ashes are scattered they are really fine and powdery. When we got my Mum’s ashes back they were still a little bit griity like large instant coffee granules so you could see the porous structure of the bones. She wasn’t cremated in the UK, but is that normal? Should we have requested extra fine milling or something? We managed to scatter them just fine, but it bothered me that they were still vaguely recogniseable as human remains.

In the funeral parlour? Where?

Eek!

@TodaysMostPopular everyone is cremated separately. If you watch a video on YouTube called Do I Get The Right Ashes? It’ll clear it all up for you x

What happens when you collect the body from the hospital etc? Is there usually a ‘back door’ to collect the body from and how is the body wrapped, is the person in a bag? Or just a sheet over them?

I have much respect for your profession and thank you for taking the time to answer questions.

friend wanted just a linon cloth, but had to have a casket, apparently the crematorium (no burials where she was) doesn't allow that.

Does anyone have a link for the previous thread?

Second the request for spooky stories, please - what have you experienced? Fascinating to read this thread.

Are bodies cremated separately??

I've constantly been told that a group of bodies are cremated so when people get the ashes, they actually aren't sure who else is inside!!

Hi!

I have recently trained as a celebrant. Still shadowing for now. I popped into my local FD to introduce myself and ask how I would go about getting myself on their books & she basically told me she has a couple she uses all the time & my age is a off putting as i’m Early 30s and look young for my age so families wouldn’t feel comfortable dealing with me. It’s made me anxious now about approaching other FDs. Any advice? How do Celebrant’s approach you to be considered for work? Thanks in advance

My grandmother died and went straight to the crematorium. We had a token family get-together afterwards to celebrate her life but it was basically a family lunch. I thought this was so disrespectful towards my grandmother. I would never endorse it.

Please share some spooky stories?!