Crematorium Technician here

Not from the cigs but from the bodies

@ILoveKermit this is weird question and I'm sorry if it's too crass. But is there a smell?

Can you put cigarettes in a coffin?

ILoveKermit this is a fascinating thread. I’m case anyone on here is interested, if your city has an Open Doors Day crematoria sometimes open the doors to the public. I’ve been fortunate enough to have seen the “workings” of one in Glasgow. Wonderful people and many questions answered (though not as many as you’ve answered!)

it's strange isn't it? after all it's only bone but it definitely has an detrimental effect. I bet dad is up there laughing at me for trying to grow a rose on him!

Jools my DGF's ashes are under one of our rose bushes in the border: we transplanted it here from his garden, and I wondered if that was why it has never really taken off-- but cider's explanation makes perfect sense: don't know why it never occurred to me before, given that I only put the ashes from the fire on the vegetable garden for this very reason

Jools - as a gardener, I have to be careful where I place the ashes from my logburner; as I understand it, ashes are caustic and can 'burn' the plants/roots . I spread them on the beds in the winter, and the rain and weather 'slakes' the caustic-ness and by spring, they are Ph neutral and less likely to harm the plants.

I could be wrong. Maybe the Rose didn't like the alkalinity.

jenasaurus assuming you’re not joking, no, your titanium pin won’t be from a previous patient.

Thank you so much for starting this thread and for being so kind and respectful to our loved ones, it means a lot.
My dear dad died 9 months ago. we have his ashes in the garden as he loved his garden so much and was out there every day. I was going to incorporate the ashes into the compost and grow a rose in a large garden pot.
we were advised by the FD to not do this but to out the ashes into a box first, which they kindly did for me.
I was just wondering why the ashes are so bad for the soil? Dad's rose isn't growing anywhere near as quickly as the others in the garden. If it's just bone why does it affect the soil?
I was also surprised how heavy and course the ashes were! I kept some and had a ring made from 'ashes into glass' it's beautiful and I feel like dad is always with me.
Thanks again, you do a great job x

Yes I have told children and husband what my last wishes are in respect of the non funeral etc. I intend to buy a plot at a woodland burial ground , so that they don't have to worry about that either. I feel quite strongly that I don't want them to be pushed into wasting money on expensive coffins and all the other stuff that goes with traditional funerals. And I don't want them to worry about tending to the grave either, with a nice tree on me they won't have to.

Blue Good point. We've all had the discussion. Living wills and wants are all documented and kept at home, as well as in our wills.

I have a bit of a concern about all those on here who have left funeral instructions in their will. The will is often kept with a solicitor and may only be looked at after the funeral, so you might want to ensure that you have the conversation with someone or leave written instructions somewhere very obvious and easy to find instead or as well as in the will. Just saying, after DMum, DAunt and PILS wills were not looked at prior to making arrangements, as far as I recall, and it would have been too late.

In our burial ground we plant a tree instead of a headstone (you can have a plaque also) so eventually the field will become a beautiful woodland meadow .

Thanks Kermit for the information. My DB was cremated a few years ago after he took his own life. A couple of things resonated while reading the thread: thanks for saying Cheerio to your people - I like to think that someone sent him on his way too, particularly as he was alone when he passed (which I hate). I do wish I’d known that you can see your loved one go in.....for a final goodbye but thanks to you and colleagues for doing this on behalf of friends and family. Also good to know what the ashes do actually consist of as this is something that I’ve wondered over the last few years. Thanks again

I have left instructions with loved ones that I want a woodland burial, a cardboard coffin, no service and if people want to they can raise a glass to me at any time. I think that at a time of grief people just don't think clearly and often go along with what is suggested by others, if I leave specific instructions then they can just be spared all that. And I like the idea of me growing a native tree after death.

Aint am in exactly the same position as you x 💐

As a greenfield burial owner I wish people knew that they have much more control in their beloveds last wishes . Many people don't realise that you can do the full service burial cremation themselves . Big companies definitely take advantage of people at this vulnerable time

Thank you Kermit.

kermit your thread is such an interesting read. I have a couple of questions myself if I may.

My baby boy was born at 26 weeks. How long would he had been in the cremator for? I presume not the same length of time as an adult. Also, someone told me at the time that the flames would be turned off early to ensure I got some ashes and that they would probably just be coffin and not my actual baby. I have quite a lot more ashes than I thought I would so have been wondering if they were correct.

And final one, the funeral was 2 weeks before the call from the hospital telling me the ashes were ready for collection. Why would this be so long if they are cremated on the same day.

Thank you so much. You do a brilliant job.

Thankyou so much Kermit for answering a question I gather had already been asked, it’s much appreciated your time and patience has been valuable to a lot of us, you sound perfect to do the job you do. X

I would also like to thank you for doing this. xxxx