Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

When living as a student in the US many years ago I was stunned by people taking 4-5 showers a day - seemed a bit OCD to me. And sexual partners getting up to have a shower after doing the deed and putting on their PJs. Weird.

They laughed at me saying I'd give them a ring (a phone call) - all before the days of texting.

I also went to stay at a fellow students house with their parents and discovered they said grace before every dinner and called their parents Sir and Ma'am. But the Dad mixed frighteningly strong vodka martinis as pre dinner drinks which was pretty potent to me.

Thanksgiving dinner included roast potatoes covered in honey and marshmallows, and lime jelly with cottage cheese in it. Made my Mum's hostess trolley and electric carving knife and 70s food combos more reasonable!

And then of course there was the college friend giving me a lift to DC with a gun in the glove compartment of his car! Awful!

I'm in the Middle East and some things have already been mentioned.

Car seats have only recently been made mandatory. I used to get a lift to work from a lovely Arab family with two small children, both of whom would just sit in the back seat of the car with no car seats, no seat belts, while we whizzed down a motorway (with drivers overtaking on both sides, swerving across multiple lanes etc). It was nerve wracking.

All the wait staff are unbelievably nice and helpful. They get paid peanuts by our standards but they are just so genuinely lovely everywhere you go and nothing is too much trouble.

Everyone wants to hold my son. Strangers even try to kiss him! Some of them tell me about their own babies back home - a taxi driver a few days ago told me he won't see his little son for another eighteen months, and I've met numerous fathers who have never met their children.

Arab mums used to castigate me for not wrapping DS up properly. It was almost forty degrees outside! If I'd put a blanket on him he would have baked like a potato! It's not unusual to see local babies wrapped in cold weather clothes and layers of blankets, even though we literally live in a desert.

Brunch is a weird thing. On Fridays (weekend here) you go for Brunch. it could cost up to £100 depending on where you go, but there are dozens and dozens of them in the city. It starts at 12 and generally finishes at 4 and it's basically an insanely massive all you can eat/drink buffet. Everyone leaves their homes at 11:30am, dolled up (sometimes like they're going to a night club if it's a 'party brunch'), and gets absolutely shitfaced over the course of the afternoon. Then you can go to a post-brunch party, kind of like clubbing, and be home by 8pm, completely wasted.

We don't have the 'Alright?' thing in Scotland and I never know how to deal with it when in England. I usually mumble 'fine, thanks'. Is that wrong?

Really?! I'm Scottish and I say it! So do my friends and family... Unless I'm imagining it and this is something I've picked up in London??

Been in France 18 months and still can't get "les bisous" right. It's either a headbutt or looking over each other's shoulders. My colleagues know better now and accept a good firm British handshake.

In not I'm. I'm fat but not quite kitchen sized. (Even my tiny London kitchen .)

He is from the States. I did ask him where in my minuscule flat he would have put a washing machine if not I'm the kitchen.

Aussie husband now thinks it's dab we have the washing machine in the kitchen (smallish 3 bed)!

Speaking of laundry and cultural differences, the last time we went to the UK we stayed in self-catering accommodations rather than in hotels. In one there was a washing machine but no dryer. There was one of those pulley affairs that you pull down from the ceiling in the kitchen. This was a source of great interest and amusement among my traveling companions and we have multiple photographs of our clothes hanging from it.

In another place, there was one of those washer dryer combos in the kitchen. It washed clothes very well, but we could never figure out how to get them dry in it, so we hung clothes outside on the clothesline. But as we were in the Hebrides, they seem to get even wetter while they were out there. So we wound up draping everything over radiators inside the cottage. Photographs were also taken of this.

Shesa it is a bit odd re the washing machines but lots of houses in uk are so old it was before the time of washing machines, and there’s so little building space there’s no room for separate utility rooms in a lot of houses! Is your DH from the States?

My (front loader) washing machine is on the top floor of a 3 storey house. Much more convenient than the kitchen.
Babies go to the cinema from birth in the UK too, at least where I live, but it's special sessions so parents can see current films, not kids' films. I think it's a great idea and no one cares about noise made by the babies.
We can also get McD and KFC delivered

Dh still finds it hilarious that Brits have washing machines in kitchens.

My daughter lived in Spain for the best part of a year and when she came back she said she was really looking forward to having her own plate of food rather than communal dishes, tapas style.

I used to work in central London and one day in the busy lunch hour I was walking along a main road near my office which bordered a small park where office workers would go to eat their sandwiches. There was an iron railing separating the park from the pavement. Suddenly I heard a trickling sound and looked up and saw a man with his willy out, peeing towards the street, cool as a cucumber. Jesus, at least face the bushes, no?

That’s the only time I’ve ever seen a penis in a park - or indeed in any situation where you wouldn’t expect to see a penis.

Hope you enjoyed that story.

You haven't lived if you haven't seen a penis in a park!

I think from now on it should have its own acronym. PIP.

Re: what to say to "alright?" Just "Yeah, you?" or even "alright" back

I don't live in the south so it's not (just) a Southern "awwwright" thing. It's just a casual alternative to "Hello", or "Hi". Often seen as a more personal/friendly greeting than "Hello/Hi" and infers friendliness and happy to see that person. Unless it's someone you don't know in which case it's still being more friendly than "Hello/Hi".

So if someone says "Alright/you alright?" you can take pleasure in the fact they are likely to be pleased to see you or at least are friendly & pleasant. It's the equivalent of a tail wag from a dog.

willI that is unlucky, I feel for you - I have a bathroom that has a hot tank myself but it's an old house and fortunately the separate shower has a constant supply of hot. It does mean that I don't often get a really hot bath after the DCs have had one as there's enough for one proper bath and then a miserly quarter of a bath

But these old hot-water tanks are usually found in old houses and properties like village halls, houses that haven't been modernised any time recently, rental properties (landlords too tight to upgrade to a combi boiler as long as there's a tank that works) etc. And rural areas. I bet you've come across a few septic tanks too!

I think in some countries it's usually in the bathroom!

Yup, they're in the bathroom in Finland. Makes much more sense to me as you take off your clothes in the bathroom to shower so can just stick them straight in the machine. Mine is in the basement though, just outside our shower room, and it's a hassle going up and down all those steps.

We don't have the 'Alright?' thing in Scotland and I never know how to deal with it when in England. I usually mumble 'fine, thanks'. Is that wrong?

You just say 'Alright?' back, nobody needs to actually answer the question :)

Regarding hot water coming out of the tap - does Italy have district heating then? Where the water is heated in a central location and piped directly into all the houses/apartments in the area? That's what I've had in most of my homes in Finland so always constant hot water and very very cheap heating because of it. Now I'm in a detached house we have an oil boiler and I definitely miss that district heating!

Linoleum I can assure you that I do not sound like the Catherine Tate character.
Where I am from (in London) it was a normal thing to say..
'Alright?'
'Alright?'

@SundayGirls Maybe I've been unlucky. I've lived in 7-8 different houses and all bar one have had the 'old' system - annoyingly not my current house! It's no biggie though. I like to live rurally so that's probably why!

Should have said UK.

We've had a combi boiler in the house for over 20 years and it was here when we moved in. One of the first things we did, when able, was to change to a single tap in the bathroom, always hated two taps and had lived abroad where a combined hot/cold tap was standard.

Snowy I'm a renegade regarding washing up bowls. Never liked them and have never used since being a "grown-up". 95% goes in the dishwasher anyway, even big casserole type dishes, after a soak in the sink.

willi regarding the hot taps. Most houses in the UK now have combi boilers, which heat up the cold water as it's passing through so there is hot water/10 showers in a row.

Before this older systems did have an old-fashioned hot water tank (of the kind where you get one lot of hot water and when it runs out that's that) and of course some still do have those. However these are being phased out. Combi boilers are the current/popular method of heating most water, i.e. instant constant hot water.

Korea also has a very lax attitude towards kids and nighttime activities. I used to teach kindergarten and honestly some of the behaviour problems were shocking. Then you’d see the same kids in the supermarket at 11PM or something. It’s so obvious that most of them aren’t getting enough sleep and it’s so bad for them.

I’m an Irish expat in the Middle East :

• healthcare is really good here, even in the public health clinics (I take my DD there to get her vaccinations)
• really family friendly in that children are out and about to all hours, go to cinema from birth etc (not sure this is entirely a good thing)
• convenience of everything here, local corner shops deliver, Mc Ds/KFC etc all deliver
• the weather is always nice, even in winter when it’s 10 degrees
• they love everything American and when talking in English, they all have American accents.

However

• can not stand the eyeballing I get from men when I go out and about. Yes I am ‘modestly dressed’ whatever that means. I felt very vulnerable during both my pregnancies here and at the end of my first pregnancy wouldn’t go to the local shopping center without my husband.
• being overly feely with my DD. No don’t fucking lift her/touch her/whistle at her like she’s a dog, don’t take pictures of her and no, you do not stick your fingers in a newborns mouth.
• the driving. Kids hanging out of cars, no car seats, 7/8 people being in a regular size saloon car, no rules of the road
• disrespectful towards animals. Where I live there are poisoning’s on a regular basis in areas where people take their dogs walking to kill off any wild dogs Was at a wildlife park this weekend and I seen a grown man poking a tortoise (poor thing!) and his daughter kicked the tortoise with her foot quite violently.

• Worst thing here is the exploitation of cheap labor, usually everyone I know here has a maid and a nanny and a driver. I have none, the lady who occasionally babysits for me I pay what I’d pay at home in Ireland for a nights work. It’s not something I’m comfortable with at all and I find it very hard to have respect for people who are ok with it.

I’m only here due to DH work - we have a plan to leave but just need to save a bit more before we can go.

Am I the only one on the thread that keeps reading the word "alright" and can only think of "awight" from that "am I bovered" character in the Catherine Tate's show? I'm from London, if someone said "alright?" in anything other than that accent, I'd struggle to reply with anything other than "I'm fine thanks and you? ".