Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

Scandi in UK..
Took me ages to realise that 'alright?' doesn't mean that you look awful and in need of immediate help.

Also the constant 'sorry' and 'thank you'. I always found it strange that if I was accidentally in someone's way in the shop, they would squeeze past me while apologising. Even though it was me who was on their way.

And the thousand thank yous when a waiter is serving food or drinks to you. Now I'm fluent in it myself.

One of the greatest perversities of German 'cuisine' is what they call 'red and white chips', which involves chips with mayonnaise AND ketchup, at once. I detest mayonnaise, so this is perhaps why I find this so disgusting. I also find Nutella disgusting.

Tea, when ordered in a standard restaurant (i.e. not a place in a hip spot in Berlin that's got used to catering for foreigners), coming as a cup (usually a clear glass cup) of hot water that's gone off the boil, with the world's most ineffectual teabag and a slice of lemon on the side, no milk, and if you ask for it they bring Kaffeesahne (essentially condensed milk).

I've lived in UK for 13 years and absolutely love it! Things I found weird were:

• not rinsing the washing up liquid off dishes. My british MIL thought I was being ever so fancy for doing so!
• children starting school at 4yo, seems like they're so little still
• alchol after work every day to unwind
• being called 'Love' by strangers
• giving out instructions by saying 'do you want to do so and so' instead of just saying 'do so and so'. I've learned that one a hard way!

Oh and if I'm greeted with 'alright' I reply 'yes, you?'.

Oh, and mayo on chips, too! (We call fries chips as well as crisps - I was referring to the hot ones.)

Aussie in the Netherlands - the attitude that to be "normal" was the best you could aspire to, and no matter how much more you had in common with people, you would never socialise with them, because they only socialise with people they went to highschool or uni with.

Working in RSA

Me: Hi Claude. Can you please send me the month end fx rates?
Claude: Sure, I'll do it just now.
Me [half an hour later] - er Claude, where are they?
Claude: Ja, I said I'll do it just now

Learning: Just now doesn't mean now. It means, it's on my list and I'll do it when I get round to it , roughly at some point today.

Now living in HK.

• If you go out as a group with Hk'ers,, all dishes are shared - even if you go to pizza express you'll all share a few pizzas, pastas and salads between you. It would be weird just to order your own.

• When someone asks if you've eaten lunch yet, they're really asking you if you're ok, so you say yes, even if you haven't.

• If you have a cold, you have to wear a surgical mask to work or everyone will think you're a skank.

• "No boxed gifts" means "cash please", not "no gifts" - I believe this is also used in India.

• You HAVE to take your shoes off if you go into someone's home. Even if two delivery men are juggling a sofa they will still somehow manage to slip their shoes off at the door.

Brit in Belgium:
The seasonal decorations
The way in which stuff disappears from the shops, so once Easter is over, all the chocolate eggs vanish, no cheapies to buy for scoffing.
Belgian cappuccino....coffee with whizzy cream
A speculoos biscuit with coffee every time
Shops shutting for lunch, and the bank, and being shut on Mondays
Very little Sunday trading (which I love as people get a day off)
The bloody bureaucracy
Can't get comprehensive insurance on an older car
They drive like checking lunatics, especially the tests in Aid is, and a safe distance from the car in front is considered by them as a spot you've saved for them to change lane.
The change over five lanes from fast to slow with no regard for any other car that happens to be in the way.
No Lurpak. I can but Lurpak in Carrefour in Oman, so why can't I buy it in Brussels? So much for the Single Market.

Brilliant thread! And useful...about to move to Australia from UK in a couple of weeks and thanks to this thread I won't have to make a fool of myself using the term 'rooting around'

your response to "alright" is either "alright" or "hi/hello"! So when my NDN says "Hi Mere, you all right?" is that still just a greeting? And I should still reply just with "all right" or "Hi"?

Lived in Oz for long time until recently - find Australians very superficial - as long as you say Fine, they are fine. Any other expression of feeling leaves them reeling and indifferent.

I find many Australian women (and most men) hard and emotionally unavailable - back in the UK it's a delight to find people who talk feelings.

Oh yes, the German mania for seasonal decorations. Grown adults covering their windows with leaves cut out of coloured tracing paper and toadstools (!) in the autumn, and snowmen in the winter. The coloured plastic eggs on the bushes in people's gardens from weeks before Easter. And the general mania for Basteln (roughly = crafts, for the uninitiated). Every nursery and primary school the dc have been in has invited the mothers (always the mothers) to a Bastel-afternoon at some point. Reader, I have never been.

The clapping. At every school concert there will be a number (at least one) during which the audience will start to clap in time. Cringey cringe. You understand where is comes from when you see the Volksmusik shows (sort of oompah meets Europop) on prime time telly and the regular shots of audiences of elderly people sitting grim-faced and clapping in rhythm. The day I join in with school-concert clapping will be the day I lose my identity.

Notwithstanding the decoration obsession, Germans are (as yet) more tasteful about Christmas than Brits. There's less 'stuff' and less hype.

Brit in the US here

Drink driving
Sandwiches, they put SO much meat and cheese in them
Portion sizes in restaurants are huge and everyone just takes home a doggy bag of leftovers....even french fries
Each town runs its own services (own police, fire, rubbish collections etc)
The banking is about 5 years behind the UK, we only just got chip cards and still dont have chip and pin
School doesnt start until age 5
The weather, it doesnt just rain and look grey most days, but their best days still cant compete with a perfect summer day in the UK

“Kitty. As in put money into a kitty (when you get to a pub). What the hell is a kitty? Why is it called a kitty? Why can’t I buy my own drink? Why can’t I just give you the money when I want another one? Why do we need to create this atmosphere when some of us nurse one drink for an hour and others have 6 pints?”

No clue why it’s called a kitty... but it’s fine to not go in on one, it’s just to save the hassle of someone getting money every time you go to the bar, if you drink at a different pace - you can just say, I drink faster/slower, I’ll get my own.

Oh, the tea culture.

Portugal to the UK (now back).

Sandwiches for lunch.
First names (here it's a minefield of titles and informal/formal "you").
Going to the pub.
School uniforms.
"Hot weather" at 25 oC.
The dislike of brown in clothes.
The class issue.
How drivers merge in traffic.
Card culture.
Please and thank you for everything.

I can't remember who said which things, but to answer a few other comments: I definitely rinse my dishes, but my DH doesn't . That said he also eats chips with mayonnaise, so maybe I need to think about divorce?

Yes, the reply to alright is either alright, or hello, hi etc. When I lived in the US, it took me a while to realise when people asked 'how are you' (which every single person did regardless of where you were, supermarket checkout etc) they didn't actually expect 'i very well thank you, how are you?' in return. I think either 'how are you' or just 'good' is enough.

Also in the US, how friendly and chatty everyone is. But also will tell you their life story within 2 mins of meeting. Not being offered a drink as soon as you get through the door. Not being as bothered about what people think of you. Drivers not letting you in, in fact going out of their way to drive you off the road (sometimes, obviously!).

Re the poster who mentioned dictation, I had to do this weekly as a child in France. It's actually very good for spelling (plus I enjoyed it because it was one thing I was good at!)

To the poster who said in Ireland you are supposed to refuse a drink 3 times before you say yes, this is fascinating! Why is it considered rude to say yes first time (for future reference if it comes up!)

Finally

Mmmmmm, Spargelzeit. 😀

Toomany they go nuts for asparagus and yes it's white.

@Flockoftreegulls

I haven't lived abroad but travelled to Germany fairly regular with work. The hotel we stayed in seemed to theme half their entire menu around one seasonal product. I think we were there for (white?) asparagus time and it was in every bloody option!

I also found the lunch culture very different. They had an on-site restaurant serving mainly meat and potatoes based meals. Virtually the whole office would decamp there for a proper lunch. There was no eating a sandwich at your desk like we do here.

No one is ever busy, there isn't a word for busy but to be running around or acting stressed when someone wants to talk is a bit rude. You always need to make time for people. It can still be really frustrating.

That the school will give one day notice for events/meetings. 1 day!! Even to their own employees. That grates on my Britishness.

That organization is not top priority. I honestly wonder how Japanese Brazilians cope, they must be in constant termoil

That 6 pm party start means turn up at 6.30 but if there's a finish time you better not be late because people will smile politely and say "oh don't go, it's early yet" and then slag you off if you actually stay. Brazilians and time keeping is not a harmonious relationship.

That schools don't have behaviour policies, no detentions, no interventions, no classroom rules, just nothing. They just expect kids to be there and learn or not learn. Luckily my kids chose to learn.

Expat living in U.K.

The importance of sending cards. Elsewhere in the world I’ve lived, you buy a card to give with a gift. Never just a card, unless you’re putting it a gift voucher/money. But you only send a card if you can’t see or call the person. Not in addition to!

Even on here, I still don’t get when someone is lamenting they didn’t get a card from their DH (he’s sitting next to you, why would he need to get you a card?) or didn’t send one to their mother (why not call her? Isn’t that more personal than sending a card?)

Weather as an entire conversation. It really is a glorious art form.

Drink rounds. Agree with previous poster about tea in office. Refuse to participate, it’s just madness.

Kitty. As in put money into a kitty (when you get to a pub). What the hell is a kitty? Why is it called a kitty? Why can’t I buy my own drink? Why can’t I just give you the money when I want another one? Why do we need to create this atmosphere when some of us nurse one drink for an hour and others have 6 pints?

German in the UK thing.

I've been here for 10 years and absolutely love it.

The hardest thing for me to learn was that certain British people don't say no. Germans are very comfortable declining to do favours so I nade the mistake of asking a favour of friends/acquaintances. They said yes, I thought everything was fine until I found out that they told a friend about my cheeky request. JUST SAY NO.

I quite like how everyone is on first name terms. I just have to make sure I don't start calling people by their first names when I visit back home.

One thing I find very sad is how children in Britain are escorted everywhere until secondary school age and generally babied. I work with kids and,in comparison, the children brought up on Britain are less confident, imaginative and lack common sense/ problem solving skills than children I've worked with in Germany.

Prepacked sandwiches in suoermarkets. Genious!

Amazing tea, awful awful coffee unless you know where to look.

Asking for tap water in restaurants is acceptable, so is slapping on a not all mandatory service charge.

Huuuuuuge entrance fees for tourist attractions (£20 per person to go on a giant ferris wheel, or look at celebrity wax works).

A privatised, confusing rail network run by separate companies.

And of course: people crossing the street on a red light.