Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

I don’t consider myself an expat or an immigrant.

To me being an expat is a temporary state of affairs, where someone from a rich (usually anglophone) country lives somewhere else for a while, usually socialising a lot with other “expats”. Even if they never go home, they never fully integrate.

An immigrant is (usually) someone from a poorer country who has moved somewhere else for a better life. It’s a permanent move. (But some integrate well whereas others remain in their communities for generations, and their children usually have a bit of an identity struggle.)

I don’t fit either of those stereotypes. I am here for the foreseeable future, married to a French person, socialise almost exclusively with French people, plan to apply for French citizenship etc, but we might move to the UK one day.

I think immigrants think they are moving somewhere better than where they are from, expats think that where they are from is better than where they are temporarily living.

I am in neither camp.

When we lived in Berlin I was surprised I wasn’t allowed to mow my lawn on a Sunday, a bank holiday or between the hours of noon and 2pm and all my German neighbours thought this was entirely reasonable and couldn’t understand my consternation. Also the fact that saunas and spas were invariably mixed and any form of cover-up (swimsuit, towel etc) was banned. On the other hand they would be absolutely outraged if you didn’t wear flip flops.

Being invited to a shared meal at my dd’s preschool and every single mum bringing a shepherd’s pie!!

Couldn’t see past the title. Total tangent I know but I hate the word expat. You are an immigrant.

Kiwi in the UK
Have been here almost 20 years now but things that seemed strange at first were primary school kids in uniform, joined up houses ( terraces and semi-detached), parking on the 'wrong' side of the road, how polite people were letting you in while driving, pebble dashing and stripey lawns.

Brit lived in a few different European countries:
Germany: getting used to the pfand system and recycling. Paying for bank accounts and addressing people as Herr Doktor but then using the informal to talk to them was a bit of a weird one.

Belgium: ingrained rascism and respect of all authority. Seeing people commute 2+ hours just to go back to their own village where they grew up

Netherlands: “Dutch lunch” and just how much everyone eats sprinkles here. The gemeente employs people to go around and pick up acorns in the autumn but they won’t employ someone to pick up rubbish. The casual acceptance of weed and smoking. Underage drinking seen as a norm and there’s lots of kids drinking with their parents. The use of grandparents as sole childcare and grandparents raising kids. The biggest culture shock to me was their “natural health” and limited interventions and checks during pregnancy and birth. There’s no gas and air and you’re encouraged to give birth at home. You’re only allowed into a hospital if there’s a reason for it

In the UK to turn across traffic you wait in the middle, but in parts of Europe it's common to have a lane to pull off to the right where you wait to cross both lanes of traffic.

But I think that is a bit different. It usually has traffic lights associated. It's usually found in high traffic, double or triple lane, roads.

I moved to the UK from Russia as a kid and the first thing we noticed was that people don't really dress up for the cold!

I can remember my mum being absolutely outraged that girls were walking to school bare-legged in February, and blazers were an adequate replacement for coats in 5 degrees C. In Russia people wrap up in 10 layers and a hat up to about 20 degrees. She had me wearing a coat till about May 😜

Also how people wore flip-flops in winter but Uggs in summer, lol.

I was also astonished that my garden really does have snow on the ground non-stop from December to early April. I'd sort of assumed it would melt, then snow again and melt, then snow again and melt. But no. We don't even think about gardening till mid-April.

In the UK to turn across traffic you wait in the middle, but in parts of Europe it's common to have a lane to pull off to the right where you wait to cross both lanes of traffic.

This is the third time I've lived in the US, and it's been interesting seeing what's changed and what's stayed the same. I've lived east coast, west coast, midwest, Appalachia...

When I first lived here I hated always being given Lipton teabag with some hot water - now I'm given a teapot and pointed towards a wide range of teas including Earl Gray, English Breakfast, Irish Breakfast and many others.

You couldn't get good beer here, or any alcoholic cider. Now you can't move for breweries selling amazing beer, and cider is easy to get.

Outdated banking. Now I pay all my cheques in via my iPhone, I have a contactless payment card, etc.

But many things have stayed the same and are wonderful...

Teachers focus on teaching. No wasting time on stupid rules regarding school uniforms, hair colour at school, etc. Schools have counselors, speech therapists, special ed specialists, social workers, nurses, etc.

Right turn on red.

Drive through ATMs - God I wish they'd had those in the UK when I had small children who were fast asleep and I desperately needed cash for something.

People are genuinely friendly and helpful. I found it so easy to make friends here. Whenever someone needs support the community rallies round.

People will stop their car on Main Street to let you cross despite the fact that there's a crosswalk 50 yards away that you're too lazy to walk to.

The 'can do' attitude.

The ethic of doing to work early and working very hard all day, then going home at 5pm and enjoying life to the full.

Things I don't like...

The drink driving blows my mind - people seem to have dozens of DUI convictions yet they still drive.

The xenophobia. Being told to fuck off back home.

France,

To me such a polite society and v friendly and helpful once you try speak the lingo and remember "bonjour" et "au revoir" to everyone always no matter where you are or what you are doing. I find it charming myself!

But OMG the supermarkets/shops. A conversation between a customer ahead with the cashier/assistant could last ten minutes minimum. But it's the norm and something we have to get used to, along with nowhere to eat after 2 pm, kitchen closed at 1pm and shops closed until 5 pm. Again, something that is normal for them and we have to endure and accept.

Lweji I know, even my Brazilian husband thinks that's batshit. They also stop on rounderabouts and let people on. It's madness here. No one in our town could drive in Rio or São Paulo because they would be eaten alive.

Same here but they go a bit OTT in the bank, supermarket is a bit more normal, unless of course you have more than the person behind and then the whole town and his brother can go in front of you.

Oh another, turning left. It might be a regional thing but here if anyone wants to turn left they indicate and then move over to the right and wait until all the cars behind have passed before they turn.

What?

So even the head of the queue is too polite to leave in case they're jumping in front of someone pregnant/old/with small children/smaller/poorer/more worthy/half bloody dead...

Here in Portugal it has been put into law that pregnant/older/disabled have priority. Everywhere except A&E.

Scot in Stuttgart. These must be the coldest, most standoffish, people on the face of the earth. I've even been told my Germans from other areas they find the locals hard going. The first time we lived here we had the same neighbours for 8/9 years. We never stepped foot in their house. They would occasionally invite my husband over for a beer but me and the kids were never invited. It would be really strange to sit in the garden with my boys while the neighbours entertained my husband in their garden.
Recycling in Germany. Absolutely brilliant but I don't understand why we get pounds of junk mail every week.

Naples. The filth everywhere. The racism, my landlord was convinced every black woman was a prostitute. The pushing in! We were trying to get off a train one day with our young baby in a pram. A group of young men trying to get on, pushed an elderly nun out of the way and stepped over our pram to get on before we got off. The area across from our house where cars would pull up and cover the windscreens with newspaper.

USA. Being unable to get a damn sandwich without a bloody pickle leaking juice into it. And the disgusting amount of cold meat put on a sandwich, I had to scrape most of it off.
Cockroaches. Every house we lived in we battled the damned things. And the size of them in the south?!?!
Ketchup on everything. I watched a man pour ketchup over blueberry pancakes...
Having an OAP carry your shopping to the car in Florida, made me cringe.
Being invited to someone's house for a drink, and getting "a" drink.

Brit in Saudi.
Nodding along with Iftar and doormouses comments. My extras:
No-one uses seatbelts or childseats.
The kids go to bed really late - the malls start filling with families at 8pm.
You are not trusted to take a bag of shopping into a shop. But everything is perfectly safe just left by the door.
The temperature. There is hot, you can imagine very hot, but 50C is at another level all together. And people lived here without AC.

This is a great thread though, dying here at the Little Buggers Day Nursery and kaka issues

Oh another, turning left. It might be a regional thing but here if anyone wants to turn left they indicate and then move over to the right and wait until all the cars behind have passed before they turn. Only problem is that Brazilians are liberty takers so you can just wait until everyone has passed, begin turning and then some idiot on a motorbike will come flying past you while you are in mid turn.

United Arab Emirates here. I remember on one of my first days at work sitting with my jaw on the desk as the Lebanese girl next to me casually called the local grocery for a delivery of chewing gum. Within 5 minutes the grocery had selected the gum, gone up the 33 floors in the lift and were standing at reception.

Don't feel like getting out of the car to order your sandwich? No problem. Park anywhere (doesn't have to be a road or even a pavement) and beep the horn and someone will come out of the restaurant to your car window.

There's no concept of things closing in the evening, everything is open late - feel like a trip to M&S at 11pm, no problem - except you may find there are no parking slots left

Children up late and in all restaurants - very family friendly.

Ladies queues! Don't sigh when you turn up at a busy Government institution, no matter how many men have been standing there for how many hours before you, you will be ushered to the front to be served first

One of the only negatives is the driving. ohhhh the driving. Put 250+ nationalities together on the same stretch of highway , some used to driving on hilly mountain tracks of Nepal, some used to driving on the fast highways in Germany mentioned on this thread. It is true that you need to know as much about what is happening behind you as in front of you - you drive looking in front and behind constantly. Every day is a hair-raising, fear inducing dice with destiny!

frazzled same in Korea, no swimming outside the season, it is ‘dangerous’.

Also, at the swimminng pool, you have to get out every 40 minutes so you don’t get a stitch...this is even though 99% of people don’t even swim, they just bob about.

Oh and you have to wear a swimcap in the pool (fair) but everyone is so self conscious about their looks that they then put a baseball cap over it. Mad.

Another one is the formality of names.

My full name is say, Stephanie, but even if I introduce myself as Steph people still call me Stephanie. Even if I tell them not to. Even if it's DH's family who I have known for almost 10 years.

Brit in North African country

So Miss EnthusiasmDisturbed how much do you/mother/father earn

Me: no thank you I do not want a second helping of food I have a bit of an upset stomach

Host: do you have diarrhea? Not at all asked discreetly and in front of quite a few people who then go on to discuss their and my possible kaka issues without a hint of embarrassment