Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

would you like a cuppa” - which any polite Russian would decline, as it is the etiquette and wait for the host to ask and insist at least once or twice. It’s a little “no no-I insist-oh go on then” that is an art form in and of itself.

And very reminiscent of Irish society in my parents/aunts generation, shown in Father Ted 'oh, you will, you will, you will'. When i first asked a cousin to visit me in England, for 'a glass of wine' we had a conversation about 'do you really just mean a drink' or is it to be like 'home' where it could mean a three class meal. I exaggerate, but only a bit. I think this has cropped up in the Irish context on this thread already.

People avoiding telling you no

This is millions of years too late but we stand on the right on escalators to allow people to pass on the left. So it is the same as the roads.

I have lived in southern Africa and China. I was primary age in Africa so don't remember much of what I thought was strange, aside from starting school at 7 and being finished at lunch, and video shops not caring about age restrictions (I got most of the way through 'The Invisible Kid' before my mum realised it was a 15).

In China ten years ago you used to have to do a ridiculous dance in department stores - queue to take an invoice from the department you want to buy from, then queue at a til, then go back to the original department and queue again.

I also lived in one city in the south that had siesta time in the summer and tried to go shopping at lunchtime.

Not putting anything beside human waste in the loo, and public loos having signs saying 'no shitting' 😂.

Nightlife until you want to go home, even if it means staff waiting when their shift is over (mortified when I realised).

Stereotyping foreigners (Koreans are pretty, Americans are violent, British people have great schools and love football and are only white).

Being laughed at in shops because I'm too fat / my feet are too big for what they sell. Being told I can't try that t-shirt on because I'll stretch it but I should buy it because it will fit 😂.

My female Chinese friends following me into the toilet cubicle and remarking on my use of tampons .

Dividing fences in the middle of the road to keep people on the correct side.

People avoiding telling you know when you make a request they cannot fulfill.

Back in England - people coming in your house with shoes on. People putting their coats / bags on the floor. People saying "all right?" and not expecting an answer. No taobao. Even shitty food out costing a bomb.

I definitely agree class is a big thing in uk BUT there are some countries that CLAIM to be classless/unconcerned with class - never found that to be actually true yet. It may be more subtle, less overt but it's still recognised just in different ways in different countries.

I can't imagine not offering st least a cup of tea to a guest, I've been known when they've refused all drinks to desperately offer milk or water. Lived all over uk and know Brits from all over uk too (army brat) and all the Brits I know would consider it VERY rude to not offer AT LEAST a cuppa as pps have said even to people like the window cleaner or gardener who aren't even coming into the house.

My own family are scots (Irish descent) so practically force feed you sandwiches, hot rolls, biscuits, cake even ice cream on you! Always "sweeties" in for any visiting children too even if they haven't children themselves and if they've no sweeties in they're embarrassed and give the children money to get sweeties with!

Im Irish and in the uk i found it a shock to be considered working class. Automatically. Also English people more inclined to imply eben to new acquaintanced thay their background refined and privileged. Irish people cover up any privilege in new company.
Class is choices, privilege and behavior in Ireland.
Class is a secret code in UK

ThisIsTheFirstStep wobbles are you in Korea? Sounds familiar.

Singapore

Shifty- sounds like Greek Cypriot culture where you cannot leave the house without eating at least 5 things!

I am a Londoner in the West of Ireland for 11 years. Total strangers smiling and saying how are you!!! Thought I was going to be mugged. Now when I go back to London I have to remember not to smile at everyone and greet them.

Too many - you have been to too many rude people’s houses! It is not customary to announce you’re going for dinner leaving guests sitting with nothing on their own.

At the very least most people offer tea or coffee or a cold drink. Biscuits are optional depending if the person has any in, for an unexpected visit. If a person was expecting guests for any length of time they’d usually get biscuits in in advance.

@Toomany. Nott offering food and drink and the going to eat dinner whilst a guest is there is definitely not typical.

A few gems from Mexico:

• being on time for a visit is actually rude, you need to arrive AT LEAST 30 min after the time of the invite
• used toilet paper goes in a bin (boak)
• people brush their teeth after lunch (eg. at the office or in restaurants)
• normal greeting, even when you meet someone for the first time, is one kiss on the cheek. Men who know each other well hug and pat each otheo hard on the back, so hard that sometimes it looks violent
• Mexicans really struggle to say "no" (I´m told this is similar to some Asian cultures), they will say yes even when it´s definitely not the case. That confused and annoyed the shit out of me in the first year, it feels like they are lieing to your face, but they are just being "polite" in their own way

Bagel, it’s not just casually saying “would you like a cuppa” - which any polite Russian would decline, as it is the etiquette and wait for the host to ask and insist at least once or twice. It’s a little “no no-I insist-oh go on then” that is an art form in and of itself.

You’re ushered to sit and the host (or a family member you weren’t even aware of) emerges from the kitchen with trays of snacks and nibbles... crisps and pretzels (huge variety), all types of nuts, cakes, cookies... it is normal to whip out a chartcuterie board with all types of salami and cured meats too.

Which you don’t touch, as a guest.
Until the little dance begins again... “no no-I insist-no no I’m not hungry- oh just have a tiny bit-well-oh go on then just a small plate or I’ll get offended - oh well just a small piece then”

In the U.K. you get a cup of tea or coffee. A tray of baked goods is placed in front of you, and half the time you’re not invited to have any. So you don’t.

I agree, you always offer a drink or a biscuit to guests. I would never eat and have someone sitting on my sofa in Britain, that is very rude and not common in British culture at all! Always "cup of tea?" to anyone who crosses the threshold.

On driving, speed, small children:

1. German children have road sense drummed into them from very, very early on. There are special police officers who tour schools and do 'pedestrian courses' with 6/7yos with certificates and 'pedestrian passes' etc at the end.
2. Your typical street in a built-up area is a world away from the Autobahn. It's true that German drivers are a bit crap at keeping their distance and a lot of them seem to have missed out the bit about indicators in their driving lessons, but by and large people observe speed limits, particularly where there are some of the ubiquitous signs about slowing down because you are near a school/kindergarten etc. Speeding penalties increased fairly recently in an attempt to take these things more seriously.
3. Both roads and pavements are, generally, wider. There's more space.

Toomany I'm amazed that you've been to people's houses and not been offered any refreshment! That is just plain rude, in my humble opinion. When the window cleaner comes he gets a big mug of tea and a plate of biscuits - and he doesn't even come in the house I think it's really unusual. Also, why would people invite you round and then go and have their meal?

On the use of 'expat' - I use it as shorthand for 'not living in my country of origin', which is all it actually means. I certainly don't identify with the colonial overtones, and I wouldn't exclusively apply it to Brits. I've been here 20 years and associate 'immigrant' with the early phase of arriving and establishing oneself in a new country - I wouldn't call the Turkish people who have been here decades immigrants, and I don't really consider myself one, not any more.

Russian in UK.

The thing I found uncomfortable when I first came here is how the cashier would extend their open hand waiting for the cash payment. In Russia money is a bit of a vulgar subject, people like the pretend publicly that money is not important to them, tenner here or there whatever etc. Having to physically put cash in somebody else’s hand made me cringe at first.

Equally, my DH was puzzled about conductors on public transport put a little tear in your ticket ‘so you know you have paid’ (????)

He didn’t understand why there are flat ashtrays ( in front of the cashiers at the supermarket. He asked me that, like WHY? It’s where you put the cash when you pay so you avoid the vulgar hand into hand money exchange!

There are loads. They are two very different cultures.

I would get very offended at first when you go to someone’s house (even family) and they would sit and talk to you for ages without even offering you a drink, let lone any food. Or worse, they would announce ‘We are just having dinner’ and LEAVE you there sitting in their living room starving!!! In Russia this would NEVER happen, it’s considered the height of rudeness and inhospitality not to offer somebody who even just ‘popped in’ drink AND food, repeatedly and insistently. To get your dinner out (or even a sandwich) and not offer the person standing next to you (let alone visitor) is very bad manners. Took me a while to get used to this one. But I love it now because it’s great for me as a host not to have to run rings round any passing visitor as they don’t expect full scale hospitality.

Questa... there are good things too, I promise!
A small sample:
German society is founded - for obvious historical reasons - on a very humane spirit. For example, the criminal justice system is a lot less vengeful than the UK one and very much focused on justice alongside reform and rehabilitation. (Not that I have had dealings with the criminal justice system but it's something you notice). And, while there is nasty racism, a lot of people were incredibly welcoming towards the refugees who came in 2015.
Then there's the sensible attitude towards giving children some personal freedom. The pendulum has swung away from the extreme of 6yos going halfway across the city on the bus/tube by themselves - a lot of German parents will walk their children to school for the first year or perhaps two, but by 8 most kids are going by themselves. I think the system treats older and secondary children with more of a trust in their maturity, as well (the lack of ridiculous uniform rules about exactly that shade of grey trousers and hair no longer than 2.576 inches helps). I do reckon this pays off later - German students go less wild than British ones at university - they live pretty much the same life, with part-time jobs and studying, as they did in the final years of school, except they are perhaps living away from home. They seem more domestically competent, too - getting together to cook a meal is an entirely normal student thing to do.

The thing in Iceland about swearing in English not counting is true for here too. Cf. Angela Merkel talking about 'shitstorms' and any number of Germans chucking 'shit' around in front of me (while I look like this -> ). But tbf, Scheisse is considered very mild in Germany, and people just literally translate.

Brit in China.

Where to begin, there's the spitting, squat toilets and needing to wear a mask to go outside for most of the winter.

Also, as a woman with size 7 feet I can't buy shoes here, not even online. But there's plus sides, shoes aside, you can buy literally anything on Taobao and it normally arrives the next day. Compounds have these amazing box systems for deliveries so you don't need to be in when things are delivered.

The importance of having a smartphone really surprised me, everyone is on WeChat (a Chinese social app)and even if you just exchange a few pleasantries with someone in a cafe etc, they'll ask to add you on WeChat. You can do everything through the WeChat and Alipay apps, I rarely even take a purse out with me anymore and can't remember the last time I paid for anything with a card.

Public transport is amazing, clean and cheap, my kids are treated like celebrities everywhere we go and there's a bakery or coffee shop on every street corner (which might account for me gaining a stone in the past year!). Nigh-on impossible to find good bread though. Or Branston Pickle.

Thanks, panpanpan

Taking leftovers home is ok if it's pizza though because pizza breakfast mmm

halfwitpicker, falconry, and the use of falcons as hunting birds, in those countries has been going on for centuries theculturetrip.com/middle-east/united-arab-emirates/articles/why-falcons-are-important-to-emirati-culture/

I love eating leftovers from a restaurant! Also agree with a PP about portions though, I was surprised to find portions in the UK just as large at many restaurants/pubs.

Being pedantic - doggy bags aren't bags, they're boxes.