Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

“The French do not assume their cheese is the best, they know”

This is exactly what I mean. Not sure how they know since they rarely seem to eat anything that isn’t French.

And my French colleague certainly has some very strong opinions about British food given that she’s only spent three days of her life in the UK...

I was born and raised in London but now divide my time between the UK and a very rural part of Ireland. Even though my family is Irish and I spent many happy holidays there as a child I have found being a resident adult is very different.

You cannot buy anything in any shop without a chat about who you are/who your people are/where you are staying/the weather/any random thing. And whenever I buy something biggish from an independent store they give me a discount without me even have to ask for it, like recently I bought a new fridge priced at €320. It was a fair price, I was happy with it but after the obligatory chat the owner rang it up saying 'I've knocked €20 off for you'.'

When I hire people to do odd jobs in the house or garden it is very difficult to get them to take the payment - they will brush it away saying 'Ah no bother, you can catch up with me later'. But I have no idea when I'll see them again. Let me pay you now -PLEASE. I don't want to get a reputation as a rich Brit blow-in who doesn't pay her way.

When you visit a pub or bar people really are as friendly and interested in you as they appear. They aren't doing it to be polite or get a bigger tip, they really are pleased to see you (unless they aren't, in which case its best to drink up and leave.).

Yes the pay is much better. The shortage of GPs increases work for those working here. But the British pay less for healthcare than most other developed countries.

British GPs and A&E doctors emigrate to Australia because the working conditions and pay are so much better - I’d argue the shortage of GPs and A&E staff has everything to do with the NHS!

The issue with access to GPs is nothing to do with the NHS
of course it has to do with the nhs

ruby The issue with access to GPs is nothing to do with the NHS. There is a shortage of GPs and too many vacancies. So in areas of the country such as where I live and there are no GP vacancies, you can usually get seen the same day or at most the next. The areas with a shortage of GPs have long waits for appointments. If NHS ceased to exist tomorrow, this would still be the same.

Oh yes bank accounts here are a pain! Difficult to open and it took ages for things to become a bit easier. 15yrs ago I could email my bank in France and ask them to do anything really. Couldn't do that here. And only 1 bank allowed me to open an account here because I didn't have a passport (I didn't need a passport!!!! Mine had been chewed by my dog shortly before setting off for the UK so I only had my ID card which the bank clearly didn't like) Can't complain now with mobile banking etc.

The French do not assume their cheese is the best, they know :) lol different tastes of course but I still think French cheese is much better and my parents always bring us some when they come and visit. And some dark chocolate.

The French definitely assume their cheese (and everything else) is better than all the rest.

The food snobbery is one of my least favourite things about France.

Oh and it’s very difficult to get non French wine. Certainly if you go to the supermarket you’ll find rows and rows and rows of French wine and not a foreign bottle to be seen anywhere. Even the Riesling is from Alsace rather than Germany. Compare that to the UK where you can buy French wine but also Spanish, Argentinian, South African, Italian, Australian, Chilean or whatever you damn well like.

Oh yes juneau, the prudishness! Our company decided to mark World Aids Day one December, and the very fact that sex was mentioned, with (tasteful) pictures of condoms being manufactured, hit the outrage buttons hard in some colleagues. How dare they push this kind of filth into people's inboxes? etc.

I didn't help with my innocent "but we're all adults here aren't we"?

Australian to U.K.

Amazing banking system - I remember being shocked that (a) my sort/account number was printed on my debit card (how clever!) and (b) money transfers were almost instant as opposed to 2-3 days.

Being able to take money out of any bank’s cash point without paying fees - in Australia you typically pay for using other bank’s ATMs.

Paying for small items on card and being able to split a bill across many cards in a restaurant (Australian restaurants will only take one card per bill).

Drinking on a week night - I was mildly shocked the first time a beer on a Monday night was suggested. Also, having a pint at lunch is totally OK. Buying rounds - I’m still not quite at ease with it.

Whole shops devoted to pre-made sandwiches. The wide range of ready meals in supermarkets. How cheap food is, both eating out and supermarkets. Being readily able to buy fruit and vegetables out of season. The terrible flavour of said fruit and vegetables.

Late opening and early closing of shops on a Sunday, incredibly annoying.

How late the day starts and ends - my parents catch a 6.05am train to work, my last Australian job had an official start time of 8am. Gym classes are offered at 7am on Saturday and Sunday. In London, nothing is open before 9am on weekends, the streets are dead. People start work late and finish late.

The NHS. It’s really not that good, in fact it’s pretty bad. Four weeks wait for a GP apppintment is ridiculous. I once flew back to Australia with untreated pneumonia because I wasn’t sick enough for A&E and couldn’t get a GP appt before I left. I arrived Saturday night and my Dad arranged a GP appt for 9am Monday.

Weddings that go on alll day with tiered guest lists. Having to pay for your own drinks, Australian weddings offer all guests beer and wine for free. Having only a choice of a church or registrar wedding rather than using a celebrant.

Australia - Indicators and windscreen wipers are on the opposite sides. I was pulled over for a random breath test once and it probably didn't help that I arrived at the side of the road windscreen wipers flapping furiously on a beautiful sunny day.

Middle East- y'know when you're waiting to move out onto a busy road and someone flashes their lights to let you know it's ok to go. This was the OPPOSITE. If someone is flashing their lights it means, "I'm coming through and stopping for no one." That was a bit scary the first time I happily pulled out and was very nearly squashed.

Maybe the French assume theirs is best

The Dutch people I know certainly think their cheese is the best in the world. But in my opinion it's all bland and rubbery (with a few exceptions). My Dutch family were blown away by really strong cheddar and stilton

Washing up bowls!!

Not nice. Never come across them before or after.

When you rinse your dishes, it's with hot water - so your sink (or bowl!) shouldn't fill up with cold water.

I think the difficulty opening a bank account is to do with money laundering. It used to be much easier but I agree it's ridiculous.
DH is a Jewish Londoner and, despite it being a big city, they ALL go to every funeral. Children don't generally go to Jewish funerals as I found out when I took DD to one when she was about 12.
Queuing in the UK, especially London - it used to be very civilised but has changed in the last 10 years or so. Imported behaviour?
Our cheese is amazing, we regularly go to Neal's Yard. I don't buy French cheese unless I'm in France, ditto jam and some other products. Maybe the French assume theirs is best, like when the Californian wines beat the French ones (see the film Bottleshock).

Yep - I agree with most of those funnel. I most certainly don't miss the horrible loo doors and seeing your colleagues' knickers around their ankles under the door! I remember trying to explain my discomfort about this once to an American colleague and she didn't understand it at all, which I found particularly weird as Americans are generally so much more prudish than Europeans.

Brit living in the USA (middle of the East Coast) - things not mentioned so far:

Living in a modern house that was basically an overgrown shed in construction - light, wooden and rubbish insulation.
"Forced air" heating that just felt draughty all the time.
Top loading washing machines that used so much water I could have had a bath in them.
Tiny baths that only get as deep as halfway up your calves, and you can't actually lie down in them/soak your knees and your back at the same time (and you start wondering about the washing machine...).
Domestic dishwashers looking identical to British ones, but very very noisy (I think they are not sound insulated)
Massive cookers - but table top "toaster ovens" that are very popular for cooking/warming up small items if you are single.
Eating out being very cheap, but buying good quality meat/veg/fruit to cook from scratch being more expensive than M&S or Waitrose.
No "two door" rule for toilets in restaurants and kitchens. My brother was impressed he could have a shit and cook the dinner all at the same time.
The huge gap around the doors in public toilet stalls and practising "not looking" but still sometimes seeing more of your colleagues than you would ever want to know. (hey, your waxing is overdue... )
"Cake" being weird sickly sweet dessert-type constructions, as opposed to British, well, cake. I came last in the office cake competition with my lemon and poppy seed loaf judged to be a bit "tart".
Colleagues going to the local shooting range for their lunch break when they'd had a bad morning at work.

As a balance, things I miss now I'm back home:
Fireflies in the back garden yard.

York's Peppermint Patties
Jarlsberg dip
Being complimented on my driving
Bed Bath & Beyond

From Scandinavia, in the UK:

• going to a birthday party/wedding and having to pay for your own drinks and/or food: unthinkable in my culture

I'm a Finn so not strictly speaking a Scandinavian but you never(* get your drinks paid in Finnish weddings. If the couple are feeling generous, they may have made an alcoholic punch but it only gets wheeled out and served after the dinner. There can be a very high chance that there's not any wine served during the meal. Only home made beer (non-alcoholic), milk and water. If there is wine, it'll be two glasses per person and that's it. And because the weddings tend to be in old farm houses/community rooms, there's no bar at all. So you don't even have the choice of being able to go and pay for your own drinks.

We married in Finland but one of my non-negotiables was that there's a free bar for all the guests and plenty of wine to be served during the meal. This was so unusual that I had to give the bar staff reassurance during the night that yes, it is fine to serve the guests what ever drinks they like. Even vodka

(* I come from a modest working class background, maybe it's different in the posher, academic circles.

Lived in Italy for the best part of a decade. There were lots of wonderful things but unfortunately the things that spring to mind are all pretty negative.

• Not saying please/thank you/excuse me/sorry. You get funny looks if you do.
• Not knowing how to queue. At the airport, for example, they will all go and crowd around the gate 2 hours before boarding.
• They are terrified of not being able to get off the bus/underground at their stop. They will get up 2 stops before theirs and go to the door and ask anyone in their way whether they are getting off at the next stop.
• Food snobbery. It's almost a crime to eat salad off the same plate you're eating pasta from.
• Blatant littering. Grown adults will throw rubbish on the ground, sometimes even right next to a bin.
• Men treating women with a lack of respect for 364 days a year but texting every female they've ever met on 8th March to wish them happy international women's day.
• Selfish driving. Cutting people up, using bus lanes and hard shoulders because they are in a hurry. Because obviously no one else is.
• Bus drivers on the phone whilst driving. Often to their mothers.
• The drink driving. SO prolific. They think that it's OK if they drive slowly or only a short distance.
• Violence against children. Totally normal to hit your children with slippers, wooden spoons etc.
• Children are not disciplined and are allowed to run amok until someone else comments on it. Then the child is bollocked to within an inch of their life. See the point above about violence.

Ah the washing up bowl!

So gross! Everything swimming in brown food-water. I wash and rinse everything under running water, problem solved!

The air kissing reminds me of a funny story. I live in Portugal and host volunteers (mainly) from Europe to help look after our animals (horses, etc). We had a young woman arrive from the USA - not only her first time out of America but her first time out of deepest Winconsin. So she arrives, tired, disorientated and a bit scared, only to be kissed firmly on both cheeks by a gorgeous German woman. The look on her face was priceless!

Oh and everyone kisses everyone three times in the NL. Arriving and leaving anywhere with a few people present can be quite long-winded

I'm a Brit but spent a lot of time in the NL and found them to be incredibly blunt which, to an English person used to beating around the bush and using euphamisms, seemed quite rude at first but refreshing I guess

Snacks! Fried snacks! Nutritionally crap but oh so good!

Indian food is very rare but Indonesian is very common. Don't think I've ever seen it in the UK. A reflection of our histories I guess

The Dutch dress much more casually than Brits. Very rare to see a woman in heels

Lived in several countries and am chuckling at many of these. The first few weeks somewhere can be baffling!

I'm the UK, it took me a long time to understand the goodbye carry on, that is, when someone says they're going, they don't actually leave. They say it at least 3 x before getting up and going.

And that when you ask directions, it's like - up the road to WHSmith, left then when you see the station, look up and you'll see a tall chimneypot - the white building to the left is the shop you're after"
as opposed to, first left then 3-4mins walk to number 72.

I never understood the tea round thing either. I once worked a week at a place where they did tea rounds approximately every hour. As I didn't drink tea and because I was new and no one spoke to me, I didn't partake. On the Friday, a guy plunked the tray on my desk with 9 cups and said, "About time you did the tea" so off I went to the kitchen (which I'd never used) with cups for people who didn't speak to me, to make orders that I couldn't remember.

I couldn't quite believe their pettiness and decided it was not a work environment I wanted to stay in.

In the States I'm always freshly surprised by how formal greetings can be - yes Ma'am etc, and "Welcome to the United States of America!" even from the grade school teacher

carpets in bathrooms. I was when I realised that you can still buy it in shops. just so weird. tiles for bathrooms only.

separate hot and cold taps. so unpractical und unhygienic.

houses that have no shower. not even over the bath. again separate taps. and such low water pressure that running a shallow bath takes half an hour.

I was thinking about the not rinsing after washing up thing. I don’t rinse. I think it is a generational thing.
The reason people didn’t rinse traditionally was that no one ever did in the adverts for one and the whole thing with having two taps.
Most people only had a single sink. If you rinsed everything then your washing up bowl would fill with cold water