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BRIDE'S AGONY- Bum Torn Apart By Wedding Dress

705 replies

HarrietKettle · 22/02/2018 16:15

I picked up an abandoned copy of this in the canteen today had forgotten all about it- used to love reading my Nan's copies.

The style of writing is totally the same, it made me laugh.

  1. babies are never just born, they are 'pushed into the world'

  2. you don't just think 'I might be pregnant, I must take a test'. It has to be 'I gripped the table as a wave of nausea washed over me. I sat thoughtfully. Then I put on my coat, and walked to the chemist, then returned back to my home in Botley Grange, Lancs, with a package. I followed the instructions. I paced nervously with the little white stick in my hand. Finally, it was time to look. I was pregnant!'

  3. there is a headline on the front that reads 'BRIDE'S AGONY- BUM TORN APART BY WEDDING DRESS

The poor woman had compartment syndrome, maybe but not definitely caused by the excersize she was doing in the run up to her wedding Confused

Anyway it's made me laugh, and at home tonight I'll probably be narrating in my head things like 'the cat meowed with glee as I entered the front door of my flat in Hinkley Ave, Berks. 'Looks like it's just you and me tonight, Mavis' I muttered as she fixed me with a meaningful stare. My partner, Gary, was working late yet again. Sighting, I reached for the bar of chocolate I'd treated myself to and settled down to watch the soaps'

Anyone care to add a Take a Break Style narration from their day?

OP posts:
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Butterball17 · 22/02/2018 16:19

“ I brushed my long locks” why locks and not hair!!!

juddyrockingcloggs · 22/02/2018 16:18

OP I LOVE take a break headlines! I take pictures of them and send to my sister!

My favourite was a few months ago!

'I ate my own twins'... she did nothing of the sort but it made me howl!

OhCalamity · 22/02/2018 16:18

Grin I'm not that creative a writer harriet but I will follow this thread with much amusement.

I do remember reading one once where a woman froze a tube of toothpaste and sliced it and all her dinner guests were well impressed with her after dinner mints Hmm

iBiscuit · 22/02/2018 16:18

I will! But later, cuz I'm meant to be working Blush

HarrietKettle · 22/02/2018 16:16

Sorry! Meant to read, I picked up a copy of Take a Break Blush

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