BRIDE'S AGONY- Bum Torn Apart By Wedding Dress

The Buzzfeed headlines are amazing. I’m SO intrigued by “Carjacked! And forced to eat meat pies!”

*dc shoes

Oh gosh yes I love these! The perfect guilty pleasure.

My face top tips I've seen

• stick banana peel on the bottom of do shoes, then you can pull them along in the supermarket
• bring home drink cup from the movie and you ll have a "designer" toothbrush holder (this one had a pic of said toothbrush holder, an old Pepsi cup)

I read one once where a woman stated 'he really loved me. He took me for romantic meals at kfc' and another 'it was true love. He had my name tattooed on his penis'

Really guilty pleasure (waiting room at the dentist)

@drinkswineoutofamug There's another inanimate object lover in the closer magazine on readly. She 'married' Merry the carousel. One of the pictures was her on one of the horse and the caption said it was of her consummating their marriage Does the closer magazine repeatedly run the relationship with inanimate object stories?

I have activated a readly trial just so I could read these now that I have discovered them (thanks to OP!). An entire evening of reading them so far, I cannot believe I never knew about them before!

I saw my fav ever front page whilst in the hospital newsagents; so funny I actually snorted! “I bottle fed my children but I breastfeed my dog”. That has stuck with me for 6 years lol

NB: Not sure if it was Take A Break, but definitely one of those types of mags

Sorry if this has been posted before as not read entire thread, but I remembered seeing this a while ago

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/hilarywardle/21-headlines-that-prove-take-a-break-is-the-worl-aplm

Has anyone read the "spiritual" ones? Chat it's fate or take a break Fate and Fortune? Actual madness but absolute gold.

Not tab but closer, which is just as loopy

thanks for the tip off, my crispy nhs sheets keep rustling every time I giggle reading through this thread, good job they bunged me in a private room so I’m not disturbing anyone else. Also the tip tips remind me of when my dad used to buy viz magazine, my brother and I used to always sneak a look and we loved the piss take tips

My favourite was the woman who married a tree.
Absolutely bat shit , remember reading that one out in the staff room before hand over.
Trying to think of a top tip now.

Lola, you need a name and address for the cheque to get sent to. I say this as lucky recipient of a few TAB cheques ;) None of my tips or pix included sanitary towels though
Does anyone remember when Chat came out in the 80s (I used to read my friend's mum's copy) and it was like a broadsheet? It was huuuuge. In the 90s it was so annoying. They'd always underline the puns, as if people were too stupid to notice the play on words (hmm don't answer that) Do they still do this?

Oh and Gemma something or other who has kids called Bunnie-Luv and Aubrey

My favourite TaB family had boys called Brandon-Lee, Kaiden-Lee and Charlie-Lee (did they say that last one out loud?) Dad’s name Lee

And the regular contributors who are in it every week - like Mel Lodge from Mirfield

I bought this weeks TaB purely based on that headline. We like guessing how dull the story is compared to its outrageous headline.

My cousin was in Take A Break. The bones of the story were true, but they’d made a load of stuff up and made her sound like an utter dingbat to boot. She got paid though so she didn’t care

By the way MedicalEnignma great to see you here. TOld you it was fun

Right. This has gone far enough.
One of us has to get a Top Tip published in TAB in the next 2 weeks.

We will agree on a fake name and details but it HAS to be an original idea.
Pads are optional other sanitary products will earn points.
Collaborations are allowed.
The prize is a Rock, paited with gold pen, your name and a Blankety Blank Cheque Book and Pen.
Who's in?
Sashay Away People

Thelittlefriend I was reading the article you posted and was laughing so much, DH had to come up and make sure I was alright!

I don't think I have ever laughed so much at a thread!

OP do you own shares in ‘Take a Break’ magazine? I think their sales will go through the roof this week thanks to your funny post 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Top tip: cut off the top of your cereal box and use it as a sun visor for your plants this Summer. I swear TAB were in competition with Blue Peter.

I was worried someone would come to the house with a car wrapped in a big red bow and I would be forced to pose on the bonnet flashing some side boob.

I won a car a couple of years ago and this is almost exactly what happened, complete with bow, except it was outside a branch of the company that ran the competition which was even more embarassing as it was a bingo hall!

Luckily it was very sunny so I kept my sunglasses on and they took it from far enough away that you wouldnt know it was me unless it was pointed out :o

Back in our childfree days when time was aplenty, me and DH used to see who could think up the most ridiculous top tips and send them in to Take a Break along with a photo for illustration.

Typical example would involve sellotaping an old slipper to something, or creating a cheerful wall display from the contents of the recycling bin.

We never got published

Her long ET fingers furiously dialled his number as she clasped the Curly Wurly telephone cord