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Original poster

To tell you about my first night with my son?

554 replies

BangPippleGo · 11/01/2018 07:22

Ok awful use of AIBU so I apologise but just wanted to share

Bought home my long awaited, much loved adopted 12 month old baby boy yesterday!

He fell asleep in his cot at 7pm - usually sleeps all the way through to 7am but woke up at 3am. Could hear him on the baby monitor chatting away happily to himself (so no waking up confused or scared!). Eventually started to fuss so I went in and changed his nappy as it was soaks through, changed his pyjamas and bed sheets, but he wouldn't settle back in his cot so bought him back in with me and DH where he fell asleep curled up with me. At about 5am he was obviously dreaming of something funny as he was chuckling away in his sleep. We then got up about an hour ago and he is happily playing around with me and giving me cuddles after having his breakfast

I know it's early days and it's likely to get harder the next few days as he starts to realise he is missing his foster carer, but omg I am so happy and in love with my little chap.

OP posts:

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Original poster

BangPippleGo · 21/01/2018 16:48

Completely agree tender - we are so very lucky to have him, but it's an extremely unfortunate set of circumstances that have led him to us. Although I understand people were just trying to be kind, it's still true.

OP posts:

tendergreenbean · 21/01/2018 14:05

Congratulations OP. There's a long hard journey ahead, and I have high regard for anyone brave enough to embark on it.

I recommend it all the time, as do many adoptees, but Nancy Verrier's "the primal wound" is a must read for adopters, assuming you haven't read it already (it's very often recommended so it's likely you've already come across it!)

Without wanting to be goady, could I please ask other posters not to describe OP's son as a "lucky boy".
As an adoptee, I can only tell you that the lifelong trauma from adoption is severe, and can often lead to many serious issues. The single most damaging thing I was told when I was younger was that I was "lucky". You wouldn't say the same to a child whose whole family had just died. Losing all your genetic relatives in one fell swoop is traumatic.
Crying for a genetic mother that doesn't come is traumatic.
Trying to fit into another family who's mannerisms, interests and personality isn't quite in sync with yours is traumatic.
By calling him lucky, you are insinuating he should be grateful and feel blessed by, rather than harmed by, his abandonment.
Being called "lucky" stopped me feeling able to discuss this trauma with my adoptive parents which led to loads of issues.

There is nothing "lucky" about abandonment and potentially abuse.
It is pretty much the absolute worst start a blameless child can have in life, and the lifelong repercussions fall fast and heavy.
The whole thing is worsened by this societal view that the adoptee has been "lucky", not incredibly "unlucky". People don't understand the trauma; or overlook it.

Not to be depressing, I have known adoptees who have flourished. However, all of these have had parents who fundamentally recognised the severity of what they had suffered.

MrsLaurac · 21/01/2018 13:51

I'm... Not.. Crying
That's adorable. Congratulations

SleepingStandingUp · 20/01/2018 21:26

So wonderful op. Congratulations on your beautiful son x

VeraVerto · 20/01/2018 21:23

Love this thread, congratulations

Fullerhouse · 20/01/2018 01:59

Ahh so lovely to have a happy thread like this. You sound like a brilliant mummy op and your ds sounds so lovely too.

UterusUterusGhali · 20/01/2018 01:35

❤

Lovely.

MrsMozart · 20/01/2018 00:55

Aw. Happy happy update

Strokethefurrywall · 20/01/2018 00:23

Your update makes me want to kiss my phone in delight!
Wonderful!!

PenguinSalute · 19/01/2018 23:20

Oh OP, this is just gorgeous, huge congratulations! I’m a Looked After children’s social worker, and this is just the absolute best bit of my job- the joy of a family finding one another like this. Thank you for sharing after a tough week where it’s easy to forget these moments. It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job, and for the record, my very nearly 6 yr old still loves those 4am cuddles!

sourpatchkid · 19/01/2018 21:27

Ohhhhhhhhh I love how in love you are with him

ShellyBoobs · 19/01/2018 21:03

Fantastic, OP.

It’s just sooo lovely to keep reading your posts about how you and your gorgeous little boy are getting on.

I shall keep returning to the thread whenever I’m having a crap day.

Please keep updating us!

😍

davidbyrneswhitesuit · 19/01/2018 19:51

Oh OP - what a wonderful mummy you are

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 19/01/2018 19:41

Best thread ever

TheHeartOfTeFiti · 19/01/2018 19:23

Such a lovely thread enjoy it!! X

BewareOfDragons · 19/01/2018 19:16

lovely thread.

many congratulations to you and your new son on your lovely new family

SciFiFan2015 · 19/01/2018 19:09

A favourite treat of ours is when I'm exhausted and have an early night. My bedtime then is the same as DS (11) and DD (7). I lie in the middle with a DC either side and then we all fall asleep.
DH moves the DC to their own beds when he comes to bed at almost midnight. I don't fall asleep immediately. I wait until my kids have and just luxuriate in the moment. Bliss.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 19/01/2018 18:56

This has to be the most beautiful thread I've read on here and I have tears streaming down my face. Congratulations OP, what a wonderful mama you are. Your little boy is so lucky. Enjoy all those snuggles.

MsHarry · 19/01/2018 18:47

Lucky boy!

Lizzie48 · 19/01/2018 17:54

Thank you for the update, OP. How lovely, I'm so glad it's working out. It brings back such happy memories of our first few days after DD1 moved in with us. Okay, she cried herself to sleep at first, but the cuddles were amazing, and my heart would melt when she called me, 'Mamama'! ❤️

Baubletrouble43 · 19/01/2018 17:53

Awww... thats made me feel all warm inside. And don't worry about the rod you're making for your back etc ; enjoy your son and all his cuddles while he is so little. Congratulations! xxx

Blizy · 19/01/2018 17:50

This the best thread EVER! Huge congratulations to you and your family op. You sound like an amazing Mummy to your little boy and dss. Enjoy all of those snuggly night time cuddles.

Horsemad · 19/01/2018 17:34

❤️

Fekko · 19/01/2018 17:34

So jealous!

Original poster

BangPippleGo · 19/01/2018 17:29

Quick update!

We are now 9 days into placement. I've gotten DS into a fantastic bedtime routine that results in him going down without any fuss whatsoever both at naptime and at bedtime. We've had some nights where he has slept straight through til 7am, some where he has woken up at 4am and come in with us, and one awful night that we no longer speak of. I've taught him kisses, and "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands".

He is my world already. Urgh I am so in love!

OP posts:

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