Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To tell you about my first night with my son?

554 replies

BangPippleGo · 11/01/2018 07:22

Ok awful use of AIBU so I apologise but just wanted to share Grin

Bought home my long awaited, much loved adopted 12 month old baby boy yesterday!

He fell asleep in his cot at 7pm - usually sleeps all the way through to 7am but woke up at 3am. Could hear him on the baby monitor chatting away happily to himself (so no waking up confused or scared!). Eventually started to fuss so I went in and changed his nappy as it was soaks through, changed his pyjamas and bed sheets, but he wouldn't settle back in his cot so bought him back in with me and DH where he fell asleep curled up with me. At about 5am he was obviously dreaming of something funny as he was chuckling away in his sleep. We then got up about an hour ago and he is happily playing around with me and giving me cuddles after having his breakfast Smile

I know it's early days and it's likely to get harder the next few days as he starts to realise he is missing his foster carer, but omg I am so happy and in love with my little chap.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Andrewofgg · 11/01/2018 08:29

A lovely start to the day. Give him a cuddle from all his cyber-aunts and uncles on MN.

GinIsIn · 11/01/2018 08:29

That ‘rod for your own back’? It’s not real! You are his mother and even on night one have done what you felt instinctively was best. Keep on like that and you can’t go wrong! Congratulations to you - you got this!

My son is the same age and whatever he needs is the right thing. That’s all there is to it.

justforthisthread101 · 11/01/2018 08:28

What a lovely thread. Lots of love and luck to you and your family Thanks

Lovemusic33 · 11/01/2018 08:28

That’s made my morning.

I think you did the right thing taking him in with you, Foster carers have differs rules, as far as I’m aware they are not allowed to take a child into their bed? You are now his mummy and he needs as much contact as possible, he deserves lots of hugs and love. Enjoy every minute.

Annamadrigal · 11/01/2018 08:27

Congratulations! That was really beautiful to read, it's made me cry. I've had a ridiculous morning and have been shouty mum but I need to remind myself to take a few minutes to appreciate the DC being so precious (albeit annoying :/)

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 11/01/2018 08:27

I'm so happy for you...and weeping into my cereal ....

YouCantCallMeBetty · 11/01/2018 08:27

Ah congratulations and thanks for such a heartwarming post Smile

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 11/01/2018 08:25
Smile
Commuterface · 11/01/2018 08:25

I've also just read you other post about making a rod for your own back by bringing him into bed with you; I would bring my daughters into bed with us when they wanted to and never regretted one single second of doing that. They only little for such a short time so enjoy every hug, every snuggle and every kiss.

NooNooHead · 11/01/2018 08:24

You have made my day! What a beautiful post! I’m welling up before a wet and rainy school run that has suddenly become much brighter! I wish you all the happiness and love in the world 💖✨😍

GoodStuffAnnie · 11/01/2018 08:23

Best thread ever. Congrats x

YearOfYouRemember · 11/01/2018 08:22

My son is 16 and I still regret that I read "don't cuddle them too much or they'll get too attached, etc " and used to watch him in his bouncy chair wishing I could hold him. He's a very affectionate child now and cuddles me more than my other two but I still hate myself for not trusting my instincts. I wasn't well but even so.

Enjoy. Love him. Take every moment in. Before you know it he'll be planning university visits.

flobella · 11/01/2018 08:22

Congratulations, enjoy the cuddles and don't worry about any of this 'rod for your own back' nonsense - if he needs you, do what feels right.

Enjoy him x

TillyMint81 · 11/01/2018 08:21

Don't worry about the rod for your own back thing. Skin to skin and sleepy snuggles are amazing for bonding.
Congratulations. I have to say this post has made my morning (and I'm reading whilst my 2 year old son is lying on me because he needed some extra cuddles before we leave on the school run. You will never regret cuddling your child xx

pinkmagic1 · 11/01/2018 08:21

What a lovely post.
Congratulations on you new son. Flowers

Commuterface · 11/01/2018 08:21

I actually love this as a use for AIBU! Your lovely story has brightened up my morning. Congratulations on your baby boy Op

Fancyacuppaluv · 11/01/2018 08:19

How wonderful! Enjoy every precious minute with him x

Trashboat · 11/01/2018 08:19

Ahh, that just melted my stoney heart 😍

Congratulations OP

Fedupithink · 11/01/2018 08:17

This is such a beautiful post. Massive congratulations to you and your DH. Enjoy every minute. My little girl is 13 months, it's such a wonderful age and she does something to make me laugh and smile every single day. Enjoy!

AngelsWithSilverWings · 11/01/2018 08:17

You really are not making a rod for your own back.

I also adopted a baby ( he was 10 months)

He used to wake up in the night ( not on the first night but once our honeymoon period was over) and I stupidly listened to my very old school health visitor who told me to try and teach him to sleep through by ignoring him.

My SIL had used this method successfully with her DD so I didn't question it. But I know now it was completely the wrong thing to do for an adopted child even though at the time it did succeed in getting him to sleep through.

My DS is 12 now and I wish every day that I'd done the same as you when he was a baby.

Congratulations to you all - I hope you enjoy every moment.

Original poster
BangPippleGo · 11/01/2018 08:16

BTW co sleeping is a brilliant way to facilitate attachment

This is exactly why I don't give a toss about the SW's suggestion to do bedtime exactly as his foster carer did it, knowing the foster carer would let him cry it out. He needs to know that when he needs me I'll come running! And it's already working wonders. All morning he's been coming up to me smiling and touching my face and stroking my leg and sitting still on my lap for cuddles. By all accounts although he has been well loved and looked after his whole life, he hasn't been a very physically affectionate child so far but hopefully...

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 11/01/2018 08:16

Lovely lovely misuse of aibu.

I think it's a great idea to bring him in with you if he's unsettled, he's only tiny and it will help him bond with you and learn to trust you.

Lilsquish · 11/01/2018 08:14

Such a beautiful post.
Wishing you all the best for the future

dreamingofaname · 11/01/2018 08:14

What a lovely post. Nicest AIBU I have ever read. Congratulations to you all. FlowersCake

sluj · 11/01/2018 08:13

The beginning of something wonderful. How lucky you all are to have made a loving family already.