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Original poster

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

698 replies

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 23/12/2017 15:34

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SerendipityFelix · 25/12/2017 01:46

Ooh, I’ve got a little blue dot tattoo on my thumb from a pencil stabbing as a child, it never occurred to me there might be an actual bit of pencil in there still. How exciting.

On the lipstick in washing machine - easy enough to get out just wash everything again. I did this but didn’t realise until I was at work and suddenly noticed my usually plain dark green top actually had dark purple/berry coloured smudges all over it. It kinda worked, actually.

I seriously doubt affair. How would he end up with a lipstick in his pocket from an affair.

Thankyou MN for the light relief. Much needed tonight!

BlackRod6 · 25/12/2017 01:44

This is AMAZING. Though Daily Fail will definitely steal it.

AReindeerNamedDave · 25/12/2017 01:40

Best thread ever. Possibly best Christmas ever.*
*
This has to go in Classics.

TroubledTribble28 · 25/12/2017 01:35

Rebecca thats terrifying, don't watch Pet Semetary ffs

Floellabumbags · 25/12/2017 01:31

InglouriousBasterd

That's poetry.

EllaHen · 25/12/2017 01:23

Waffles - both dd and I had to have the backs of our earrings removed by medical professionals. Thirty years apart, our ears swallowed jewellery.

Messedupnotstressedup · 25/12/2017 01:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePinkPanter · 25/12/2017 01:17

Started reading this when I got into bed after a manic day. It's such a surreal thread I'm questioning myself if I'm imagining it with exhaustion. I'm mostly commenting so I can check it's in my threads I'm on in the morning

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 25/12/2017 01:10

This thread is the best Xmas present ever

RebeccaBunch · 25/12/2017 01:09

No bumps here, but when I was 14 I once woke up in bed, in just my underwear with grass clippings on my feet. My nightie was on the floor of my bedroom, damp with dew Confused. Not. A. Clue.

InglouriousBasterd · 25/12/2017 00:57

I broke my nose at 17 and the faint bruising never properly went away. Until I was 25 and one day it looked darker than normal...i gave the pores a squeeze and out popped all this old dried blood Grin individually, from each tiny pore. After a very satisfying morning, I had no bruise left.

WafflesWafflesWaffles · 25/12/2017 00:51

Not sure this is the same but I got my ears pierced when I was around 4. My skin kind of absorbed the studs and grew over the top of them and they disappeared. I had to get them removed at the hospital.

I got them pierced again when I was about 8 and the exact same thing happened.

hilbil21 · 25/12/2017 00:38

I've been feeling really down tonight for one reason or another. This thread has cheered me right up lol

tampinfuminragin · 25/12/2017 00:34

I love this thread!

thenightsky · 25/12/2017 00:33

My dog once ate a blue biro. The plastic shards must have pierced the skin of her tongue because from then on she had a blue tattoo on her tongue the shape of the map of the UK. It only appeared when she was very hot and panting.

JollyGiraffe · 25/12/2017 00:31

Best thread ever.

I want a weird thing!!

Floellabumbags · 25/12/2017 00:29

badbadhusky

I can show you a picture of his weird thorny belly if you'd like Smile

thenightsky · 25/12/2017 00:28

CanIBuffalo

Grin
Timetobookaholiday · 25/12/2017 00:28

I suddenly had a very sore leg and a pus spot appeared.. so I squeezed and a 2" splinter came out.
After a lot of though...I remembered I had. Splinter there 25 years before..it must have broken off and this was the reminded of it.
Sorry..nothing washing machine related!

TroubledTribble28 · 25/12/2017 00:25

BadHusky that's awful!
Crafty Grin was it awkward?!?
Wally was your brother Bill or Ben?
It was only one pea (I put it there, stupid child) but my older siblings had to confess to my mum that they had stashed the beads when I was asleep, because I snored (hence the need for tonsil removal)

Fruitbat1980 · 25/12/2017 00:14

My colleague once discovered the onion bhaji in the staff canteen was in fact and screwed up deep fried and marinaded rubber glove.

Dontsayyouloveme · 25/12/2017 00:10

My sister once blew her nose and a full apple stalk came out if one nostril!! 😂 🍎

Noteventhebestdrummer · 25/12/2017 00:06

Ewww

wonderstar1216 · 24/12/2017 23:58

From my washing machine I might add, although I'd be pretty impressed if a Lego man came out my knee!

Dontsweatthesmallstuff · 24/12/2017 23:56

My dad had a bit of an accident with a rusty saw and cut his arm. He got a sewing needle to poke around in the wound and try and get the rusty bit of saw out. In the process he dropped the needle in the wound and couldn't get it out. Had to go to a&e for an X-ray and was told it was too close to the bone to remove safely and was left in there. A few weeks later he felt something sharp sticking out of the other side of his arm and pulled out the needle that he'd dropped in weeks earlier.