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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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58
stealthbanana · 07/12/2017 20:05

florence I have that cos dress in navy. It only hits my mid thigh (maybe that model has a v v long waist?) and, thinking about it, I did wear it a lot in the first two trimesters of pregnancy.

My ongoing nemeses are floral dresses and pointed flats. The floral dresses - expectation: floaty, boho, effortlessly cool. Reality: like a carpeted sofa/elderly church flower arranger. Pointed flats - expectation: French, chic, striding confidently through life. Reality - with size 8 feet, clown feet/duck feet. And none of them are even ever comfortable!

reallyorange · 07/12/2017 19:49

Tried on a stretchy sequin dress with long sleeves, I thought the style was fairly modest (not short or low-cut) but the all-over sequins in midnight blue would look very cool.
I still managed to look like Tina Turner despite normally looking a young 30-year-old. I think it's the thickness/weight of the fabric!

JennyHolzersGhost · 07/12/2017 19:49

Everything I’ve ever bought from Toast. Except one pair of crepe trousers which were THE perfect work trousers and of course they never made them again.

GardenGeek · 07/12/2017 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 07/12/2017 19:42

Fetchez I bought the stripy version of it, also on the strength of the reviews. Looked like a complete sack of spuds in it, but DH had been super efficient and binned all the paperwork, so it went to the charity shop.

Deathraystare · 07/12/2017 19:40

Forever reading that wrap around dresses are good for curvy girls - well if you want to look like you have a sofa up your dress, yes indeedy! That is what I look like!

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 07/12/2017 19:37

Arf at Suzi Quatro's fat nan.

I bought a Cos top thinking I would ooze minimalist chic. I looked like a child had drawn me with blunt crayons.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/12/2017 19:32

I can't provide a link but I bought a full length black strap on evening dress.
I expected Angelina Jolie when her posed leg ended up with its own twitter account.

I looked like Morticia Addams' fat sister

FetchezLaVache · 07/12/2017 19:27

I bought this on the strength of the reviews, as it clearly flatters absolutely every figure...

...except mine. I am 5'4", a size 8-10 and reasonably in proportion, but this made me look like I had no waist and the biggest thunder thighs in the kingdom.

Have returned it. :(

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/12/2017 19:27

Boyfriend jeans.

I look like a boy friend

LaurieFairyCake · 07/12/2017 19:23

A navy Burberry Mac

Homeless art teacher

Wilburissomepig · 07/12/2017 19:21

A gorgeous grey leather biker jacket, it was beautiful but definitely not on me. I looked like a Hell's Angel's nan in it.

WillowySnicket · 07/12/2017 19:17

Every bloody thing I buy on eBay. I never learn.

This.

IJustLostTheGame · 07/12/2017 19:15

Mom jeans.
I look like a mom, and not in a good way.
My latest purchase was an oversized coat. I wanted to look all effortlessly instacool and laidback chic.
I look like a tramp in it.

Leviticus · 07/12/2017 18:51

Every bloody thing I buy on eBay. I never learn.

hollygolipo · 07/12/2017 18:27

I bought the red Zara frayed edge coat and looked like a member of a Beatles tribute act. Also spent £400 on a beautiful soft leather jacket only to see Suzi Quattro's fat nan staring back at me in the mirror.

ihatethecold · 07/12/2017 18:11

That Cos dress looks so unflattering.

FlorenceLyons · 07/12/2017 17:57

This Cos dress: https://www.cosstores.com/gb/Women/Dresses/Knitteddressswithwovennskirt/46881-76919558.1#c-24479

It's a gorgeous colour. I thought it looked great in the changing room. Whenever I wear it I feel like a pregnant toddler.

Laiste · 07/12/2017 17:46

I look pretty good in a clingy mini, I have good legs, my arse is ok.

Repeatedly over the last couple of winters i've gone in full of hope and tried on ..... a Skater Skirt.

''Hmm, nice with opaques and my suede boots i think. Not much different to my straight ones surely ...''

Nope.

Every.single.time i just look like a hippo in a bloody tutu and get depressed Angry:(Confused

HappyVan · 07/12/2017 17:38

This happens to me alot. That's why I do lots of returns.

zippyswife · 07/12/2017 17:36

These are great.

mrsmonkey14 · 07/12/2017 17:15

Thank you. Having a shitty day and am pissing myself laughing at these!

Original poster
Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 17:15

SmileChuck you too can look like an angry teddy in a few days when the one I return goes back online Grin

It's funny how it's the things we have greatest hopes for that are the most disappointing. I never get this upset about wellies or anoracks.

OP posts:
mirren3 · 07/12/2017 17:10

I looked like Lionel Blair That has got to be the funniest thing I've read all day.

thatmincepiehasgone · 07/12/2017 16:54

I bought this dress for a party. In my head I looked like an older Pippa Middleton.
The reality is that I look like a middle aged housewife attending her husband's firm's annual dinner dance at a Berni Inn.
www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_54510+203490351_-1

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