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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

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hendricksyousay · 08/12/2017 13:29

I bought these thinking I'd wear them with some black patent brogues a loose silk top and my all saints larger jacket.. it was going well until I caught sight of myself and I looked like this 😱😱

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
longtompot · 08/12/2017 13:28

Thankfully didn't buy, but when looking for maid of honour dresses for my best friends wedding years ago, I pictured myself looking all ethereal in the sequinned dress from Selfridges. I actually looked like Dawn French in a fairy ballet costume. It had a waistband, which I know do not suit me at all and I usually go for empire line dresses. Thankfully she saw sense and didnt buy it for me.

Ofthread · 08/12/2017 13:16

A lot of Cheryl Cole's ensembles are reminiscent of Michael Jackson. She should come on this thread.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Ecclesiastes · 08/12/2017 13:03

Oh god. I was laughing along with this thread until i had a nasty flashback to the pale brown suede three quarter length coat from La Redoute that made me look like Arthur English in Are You Being Served.

Sidge · 08/12/2017 13:01

Proper LOLing at this thread!

I'm shite at Fashion. I have some shockers in my wardrobe.

DP bought me a beautiful White Company beige trench coat a few years ago. I was more Mimi Labonq from Allo Allo than Marlene Dietrich.

I recently bought some nice purple capri pant style trousers from Gap; classic, stretchy and versatile I thought. Wrong - they are just the wrong length and the hem the wrong width so I look like your Aunty Pauline from 1988.

I had a perm in the 80s wanting to look like Elizabeth Shue from Cocktail. I am blonde and petite and looked like this...

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/12/2017 12:55

I tried on a green velvet dress from New Look (I had briefly forgotten I’m hurtling into middle age). I looked like a toddler in a party dress.

lynmilne65 · 08/12/2017 12:52

Toss. GrinGrinGrin

PoncyCanapes · 08/12/2017 12:45

Got my colours done @ HOC and one of my best colours is apparently Emerald Green.

Immediately went out and purchased a dress in this colour, thinking it would bring out my skin tone and eyes and I'd look effortlessly fabulous.

I looked like a fucking giant lepracaun.

I still have that dress hanging in my wardrobe and every now and then I take it out and try it on, thinking maybe the effect will have changed. Nope. Its St Patricks Day fancy dress every single time.

lynmilne65 · 08/12/2017 12:43

I love mnet 🤣😂

PavlovaPlease · 08/12/2017 12:43

I nearly bought a frilly top today but moogle's triceratops image made me put it back (and laugh embarrassingly loudly in the store)

Inarightpickleandchutney · 08/12/2017 12:42

remedial day release art class

IM CRYING AT THIS!!

Just add Lego clip on hair!!

Floisme · 08/12/2017 12:41

Me in my Uniqlo wide legs.

Just you wait.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
KnitFastDieWarm · 08/12/2017 12:37

Emitting loud snorts here and alarming sleeping toddler Grin

Green sweatshirt Aline dress. Expectation - slightly punky androgynous casual chic. Reality: A green lumpy jersey beanbag made in some kind of remedial day release arts class.

Literally every pair of strappy high heels I've ever owned. Expectation: Marilyn Monroe circa some like it hot. Reality: Betty boop's let herself go a bit hasn't she

thenewaveragebear1983 · 08/12/2017 12:36

Boden jade green corduroy trench coat. Bought off eBay, hoping for some middle ground between slummy mummy and office working chic. Corduroy so faded it looks like something one might donate to a scarecrow festival. Tempted to dye it but not quite brave enough.,

Also anything black. Black shoes - remind me of the old 90's kickers we used to wear to school; black trousers- school uniform; black tops/tee shirts/dresses- literally drain every bit of colour from my face and leave all my spots, blemishes and wrinkles emblazoned on a pale, chalk white circle of face. I envisage 'rock chic' or even just 'slimming' but no....,,

KatharinaRosalie · 08/12/2017 12:34

sorry link quirkypurple.com/2013/02/19/crochet-toilet-roll-dolls/

KatharinaRosalie · 08/12/2017 12:33

I bougt this beautiful long floaty summery lace dress, planning to channel Pirde and Predjudice vibe.

Reality:quirkypurple.com/2013/02/19/crochet-toilet-roll-dolls/

greenpeg · 08/12/2017 12:33

Beige a line Trench coat - expecting French chic ...
Reality - Ronnie barker in Open all Hours

Floisme · 08/12/2017 12:31

Do you think they’re selling out and then coming back into stock as people (look in the mirror and come to their senses) return them?

Absolutely. I'm just praying I'll be one of them.

UpEarly · 08/12/2017 12:31

Many many great and hilarious disappointments. My personal favourite:

I looked like a child had drawn me with blunt crayons.

Grin
SplatPancake · 08/12/2017 12:29

I'm going to break into a fashion editors house one day and ram the evidence (jeans, jumpers, scruffs) in their face while shouting 'Is THIS classic? And THIS?'

Morris - I'm HOWLING!

MiaowMix · 08/12/2017 12:28

Hush dungarees. I have never had so many people rushing to give me the priority seat on the train :(

I looked like 80s Kirstie Alley in look who's talking...

I am late 40s and categorically not pregnant.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/12/2017 12:27

Do you think they’re selling out and then coming back into stock as people (look in the mirror and come to their senses) return them?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/12/2017 12:27

Even the model has had her identity hidden in the photos for the Uniqlo clown pants WinkGrin

Floisme · 08/12/2017 12:26

Ha! fellow Katharine Hepburn fantasists. Grin They keep selling out and then coming back so we're obviously not the only ones.

Shall we share reviews (but not pics) when they arrive?

thedevilinablackdress · 08/12/2017 12:26

payment = pact