Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

Has anyone nominated this thread for Classics yet?

Can we also take a moment of silence to remember the time my (beautiful but misguided in this instance) best mate decided to get really long hair extensions? Expectation - swishy Kate Middleton
Reality - the girl from the ring, but with less poise and charm

A dark (black/navy?) crew neck blouse with horizontal pin tucking, fluted sleeves and a pelmet from Mint Velvet. I look like an extra from Blake's 7 who has escaped from a cult - my DH laughed at me (not with me).

Oh yes the cropped Jean.
I wore a pair out for lunch and just looked like I was off rockpooling.
Back in wardrobe never to be seen again.

Faux fur wrap to wear with wedding dress for December wedding...

Expectation: Cosy romantic beauty
Reality: Henry VIII

The flip side of my gift for beanbagging Aline dresses (I'm very hourglass shaped, but I never learn) is that I have a sort of reverse frump mode for certain clothes like jersey dresses or tops - on the normally endowed they look comfy, perhaps a bit fitted but basically office appropriate, on me it's more; look at my BOOBS! ARSE! hubba hubba ding DONG!
(See also - fitted shirts, shirt dresses, v neck tops, pencil skirts, and the brief but misguided foray into wrapover tops)

Any type of cropped trouser or jean.

Expectation: Chic Parisian relaxed glamour
Reality: The Hulk when he outgrows his clothes

Have nominated this for Classics. Brilliant thread.

ANYTHING mustard. I look like a corpse. A corpse who really hasn't been well.

This is one of the funniest threads I have ever read on here!

The silver scarfy/pashmina thing I wore to a christening earlier this year.
Dd spent the whole event sniggering and asking if I was attending an intergalactic toga party later that day.

I bought a floral loose dress from Cath Kidston. My DH said I looked like I should be pushing a drip stand up a hospital corridor

Bralettes, what a wonderful invention! No no, ther are totally supportive enough eve for bigger boobs. Will be great!

If you like the flattened unboob around bellybutton look..

I looked like the only steerage passenger to make it off the Titanic

I've just completely lost it! Can't remember the last time a MN thread made me laugh so much

I can only wear skinnies if they are a dark colour, if the top I'm wearing is long line, and with boots. Anything other than that and I look like an egg on - rather sturdy - legs.

I normally go for straight leg jeans, but skinnies are so handy for days like today when it's bloody freezing and you want to be able to tuck your jeans into boots.

Crying at some of these 😂

A selection of my own disasters:

Breton top to wear with black skinnies
Expectation: basic mumwear
Reality: mime artist

Chunky-knit cardigan from Maje (on sale! Ooh)
Expectation: Lazy Sunday morning chic
Reality: Mrs Brown

Getting a fringe
Expectation: Claudia winkleman
Reality: Nigel off Spinal Tap

Covering up at weddings needs it's own subthread. Get a pashmina they said, so versatile they said.

I ordered it in cream. I looked like the only steerage passenger to make it off the Titanic.

Unexpected bonus: ideal party prop for limbo dancing.

Ooh skinnies, and leggings.

I'm a size 10. I work out. At regular intervals buy myself a pair of skinnies or leggings, planning to look all sleek and stylish. I mean everybody else in the entire world wears them so it can't be so bad?

And next time I go out: "Hear ye! Hear ye! Step right this way! See the amazing woman with parsnips for legs!"

What about skinnies?

Come on, we know we looked ridiculous. Can we talk about it yet or is it still too soon?

uncouth 1940s cypriot goat-herd

a look we all aspire to!

Crying at this thread!

Like someone upthread, I had a furry gilet.

Expectation: chic, yummy-mummy with chelsea tractor heading off to coffee "with the girls".

Reality: uncouth 1940s cypriot goat-herd.

And wide trousers are my nemesis, they just make me look like a cuboid with a head.

Remembered another one.

The long belted winter coat that would exude timeless elegance and give me the illusion of a waist.

It made me look like I'd locked myself out in my dressing gown.

It’s the jumpsuit blind for me. My friend looks amazing in jumpsuits. She’s the same dress size as me. Yeah but she is 6ft and I am 5ft 3. I look like a badly dressed toddler. Particularly when I get all red faced and wriggly because I need a wee.

The white boot cut jeans debacle of 2006. In fairness I was 20 and skinny at the time so they looked ok-ish. But what was I thinking?

More recently, a floor length rose gold ball gown (not my choice, I was a bridesmaid). It was beautiful in theory. In reality I looked like a large beige maggot wrapped in tinfoil.

The blonde messy bob of 2011. When I bothered to style it properly it actually did approach its glorious Debbie Harry circa 1981 potential. The rest of the time I looked like a maiden aunt at a late 1970s provincial wedding.

Expectation: effortless office chic with a pussybow blouse

Looking good - until I put on my stone-coloured beige trench...

Reality: Mrs Doyle