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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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58
CountFosco · 09/12/2017 15:49

Hush jumpsuit.
The dream: comfy casual chic
Reality: Escaped prisoner

Bratsandtwats · 09/12/2017 15:10

Expectation: wrap dresses are excellent on big boobed women, they skim, balance your curves and create a flattering and elegant silhouette. Reality: Here's my chest, the rest is coming

Reality for me: OMG I've been flashing the whole dinner table all night at a works do.

slightlyglittermaned · 09/12/2017 14:32

Grey lace dress that was advertised as "Victorian". Imagining sleek hourglass elegant shape. Tried it on and my waist vanishes, replaced by generous lacy paunch.

TheRollingCrone · 09/12/2017 14:21

A navy velvet skirt suit. Knee length mid brown leather boots. White blouse. Was going for a late '70's Catherine Denueve effortless Parisian chic.

Reality : A deranged entrant to a under 9's Gymkana

Wilburissomepig · 09/12/2017 14:11

Loving this thread, made my day.

LePetitPont · 09/12/2017 13:49

*Faux fur wrap to wear with wedding dress for December wedding...

Expectation: Cosy romantic beauty
Reality: Henry VIII*

Snort! I had the exact same expectation with my bridesmaids only the reality was more Dickensian carol singers from a Sunday night drama....

bananasaregood · 09/12/2017 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lurkingfromhome · 09/12/2017 10:45

So so funny. To the above I can add:

Flat over-the-knee boots in grey suede:

The theory: I'll wear these over skinnies for a cool yet comfy chic urban look
The reality: Pantomime boy.

A white (yes white) belted wrap coat:
The theory: So stylish! So classy! So cool and understated and monochrome!
The reality: Dentist.

hippospot · 09/12/2017 10:27

I'm tall and so thought I could get away with a voluminous merino coatigan. My sister looked up and said "Where's your wand, Professor McGonagall?"

Anything remotely masculine (crisp white shirt, tailored trousers) and I'm instantly called Sir in shops.

But in lipstick or anything overtly feminine I look like a man in drag...

Floisme · 09/12/2017 10:04

I rock a cape too.
And tweed.
In fact my cape is tweed.
So nerr.

hoochymama1 · 09/12/2017 09:56

The dog has just gone under the sofa as I am laughing so loud Xmas Grin
Yes, yes to the Hush dress!! So happy it wasn't just me Xmas Smile
This should be required reading when I blithely send off for something after Christmas Xmas Grin

dudsville · 09/12/2017 08:36

Oh this thread has made me laugh. I don't have items to give as an example. I basically live on a knife edge regarding ALL of my clothing choices. I veer between my two most accessible looks; amish or back woods freak. I seem to come by this naturally. Very hard to find a decent middle ground there.

bananasaregood · 09/12/2017 02:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janetjanetjanet · 09/12/2017 02:16

Uncle Fester Grin

Very funny thread

DramaAlpaca · 08/12/2017 23:57

Loving this thread. Emo Tinky Winky had me howling Grin

My most memorable fail was back in the late 80s when I brought home a gorgeous little black dress with a cute frill round the neckline.

I thought I looked like a sophisticated rock chick.

It swiftly got returned after DH, who normally never comments on my clothes, told me I looked like a fairy on her way to a funeral.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 08/12/2017 23:53

Dollytwat I once interviewed someone who was wearing a very similar knicker flashing dress. It was made all the more alarming when she did a presentation as part of the assessment and stood up and shouted at me for four minutes.

It was awkward and slightly upsetting.

She didn’t get the job.

PicklingGherkins · 08/12/2017 23:42

I don't want to be that person but I totally rock my Wallis cape. I should add I've never seen it on me in a mirror - I didn't want to ruin the mystique and I think its best that way 😂

Ratonastick · 08/12/2017 23:37

I bow before the woman who believed she could rock a cape! We should all wear capes. Our inner goddesses would definitely swish down the stairs drawing admiring gasps from all in a cape.

In the meantime, we won’t speak of DVF wrap dresses. Even the assistant (who was probably on commission) couldn’t suppress the horrified gasp in the changing room. I looked like a barrel with a badly positioned waistband.

poppym12 · 08/12/2017 23:21

As well as my Tinky Winky goes Emo garb, I purchased some chino style shorts for said summer holiday thinking that I'd look a bit sporty casual. Nope. More like Famous Five gatecrashes Carry on Camping. Needless to say, my holiday clothes buying really needs some help. I make bad bad choices.

ProjectGainsborough · 08/12/2017 22:28

A cape.

Not Parisian and insouciant like I imagined, but Alan Rickman in Harry Potter.

Apileofballyhoo · 08/12/2017 22:13

navygold I've made many faux pas but never turned into a comedy genius. I wish!

crazymissdaisy · 08/12/2017 22:12

Grey velour tracksuit not elegant loungewear more jimmy saville channelling an elephant. My thighs were horrifying, like pillars of a cathedral

PicklingGherkins · 08/12/2017 22:08

Crab my journey actual lol, I shed a little tear I was laughing so much.

Bridechilla · 08/12/2017 21:57

Attempted the posh spice pixie cut back in the day, asked a friend to guess which celeb I'd asked for...

Friend: DiCaprio?

LentilBaby · 08/12/2017 21:55

White skinny jeans.....so cool, chic, such a summertime vibe.
Er....no....more like tobacco stuffed in a cigarette paper.