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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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poppyinbloom · 10/12/2017 12:17

Omg, I'm dying at "giant angry teddy"... Hahaha.

poppyinbloom · 10/12/2017 12:16

The title to this thread alone made me laugh. I totally understand the feeling. Recently purchased a bunch of stuff from Gap in their cyber Monday sale. One of the tops reminds me of a bathrobe. It looked so lovely online.

abbsisspartacus · 10/12/2017 12:12

High waisted jeans make me look pregnant

GriefLeavesItsMark · 10/12/2017 12:11

My dh sometimes wears a beanie hat. It makes him look like one of those photofits for flashers.

AmberNectarine · 10/12/2017 12:09

My DH recently splashed an obscene sum on a navy cashmere blazer, which his tailor assured him would have me purring (his tailor hasn't met me).

Reality: 'Geoffrey Palmer is probably looking for that'

For my own part, I recently debuted a pair of red tartan trousers in the office, with a navy cashmere jumper and grey tasseled scarf. Delightfully wintry and festive, in a Wham-video sort of way.

Reality: an interminable day spent as the punchline to Rupert the bear jokes.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 10/12/2017 12:01

I worked with someone who had the top of her hair coloured light brown. She looked like she had a golden hamster asleep on her head.

thedevilinablackdress · 10/12/2017 11:06

Reenactment wench 😂😂😂

Oh god, yes the hair disasters. Getting mine cut short was fine (in fact coincided with a fairly busy period sex-wise). No, it was when I decided to get highlights. I wanted to be blonde but looked like a bird had shat on my head.

Janus · 10/12/2017 11:00

Haircuts! When I was about 20 I had all my hair cut off as finally gave into my hairdressers insistence a pixie cut would suit me.
I didn’t have sex for nearly a year as no boy would come near me as I looked so awful!! Hardest haircut ever to grow out. Bloody hairdresser!

Roomba · 10/12/2017 09:14

OMG one of the school run mums had the Boden Fanny Mac! Grin

Tbh I hadn't looked at it too closely before now and I was unaware of it's MN fame. How on earth am I going to look her in the eye tomorrow?

I once bought a gorgeous long velvet dress which had lacing up the front. Not a great description but it was stunning. Expectation: Sophisticated glamour with a hint of mediaeval princess. Reality on 5'2 me: fat 'Wench' from a Reenactment society.

ScreamingValenta · 10/12/2017 01:11

'Distressed' tweed jacket

Expectation - grungy art-student chic
Reality - Worzel Gummidge

Janetjanetjanet · 10/12/2017 01:06

Another nomination for classics.

Do I have to do anything? Write to HQ with a postcard or anything?

ElspethFlashman · 10/12/2017 00:03

Olivia Benson undercover at a rock concert just finished me off completely. Howling.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 09/12/2017 22:50

Shit I’m wearing velvet leggings right now.

I probably look like a chaise longe from the waist down :(

Ofthread · 09/12/2017 22:41

Velvet leggings, expectation - sports luxe. Reality - walking upholstery.

mizu · 09/12/2017 21:43

Laughing my head off at these, esp Henry VIII, bloody hilarious.

I've read some out to my DDs and they are laughing too, what a thread!

Whishkeeey · 09/12/2017 21:35

Snorting my way through this thread Grin.

I had a bob cut into my hair a few years ago. I'd had long hair forever and was so blimmin' chuffed with my chic, new Parisian look.

Then my DS told me I looked like Johnny Depp (bad) as Willy Wonka (worse).

LentilBaby · 09/12/2017 21:25

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys
Er....I have an ‘edgy’ undercut bob Confused
(Note to self: remove all mirrors from the house)

AnaViaSalamanca · 09/12/2017 18:36

Loving this! I am so happy to see so many people have issues with "crisp white shirts"! Also for me: cardigans - expectation: Keira Knightly
reality: Mrs. Doubtfire. Long belted coats - expectation: elegance, reality:
child wearing her mother's bathrobe.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 09/12/2017 18:30

GriefLeavesItsMark
Same here, my edgy undercut bob made me look like Richard lll

goose1964 · 09/12/2017 18:29

I have a barbour trench coat, but it;s quilted so maybe not classic. I tend not to have high expectations of how I look these days so I'm living vicariously through this thread.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 09/12/2017 18:20

I've also had the Louise Brookes Bob that made me look like Baldrick.
My friend had a perm that she thought made her look like Sigourney Weaver at the beginning of Alien. It didn't. It made her look like the fat one out of Little and Large.

OublietteBravo · 09/12/2017 17:55

Knee high boots.
In my mind: they'll keep my legs warm in the winter.
The reality: I look like I'm wearing wellies.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 09/12/2017 17:54

Beret, hoping for an air of French Chic. Reality, Frank Spencer in a wig.

Beautiful vintage Laura Ashley dress, hoping for a cool vintage vibe. Reality, one of those crinoline lady toilet roll covers.

RoseWhiteTips · 09/12/2017 17:10

Very funny threadXmas Smile

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/12/2017 16:34

The green suede strappy flats that would look quirky.
No, no, insane woman joins cast of Riverdance.
I think they are still in my room of doomspare room somewhere, tempted to dig them out so you can judge me horribly laugh along.

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