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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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Domesticdrama · 12/12/2017 21:35

I was inspired by a scene in the film The Devil wears Prada where Anne Hathaway’s character wears a flat cap. I envisioned myself as a jaunty,
French-looking, elegant woman...in a flat cap. In reality I looked like I was just heading out to look for a heifer that had escaped from the back field.

My sisters still mock me about that flat cap. And every so often ask me when I’m starting up my own Peaky Blinders gang. Blush

IHaveBrilloHair · 12/12/2017 21:35

Hmmm, Thehair
I've just turned 40 and part of me is, "oh, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks, I'll wear this if I want to"
But of course deep down I do care and although I might think I rock the red leather kilt, I'm a tad worried I'll be more Liz McDonald/Rod Stewart in drag than I'd hoped for.
I was going to wear it with a crisp tucked in white shirt but up thread has told me no one looks good in that.

Time to schedule a shopping trip to Bon Marche I think.Sad

TheStarsAreMine · 12/12/2017 21:18

But also a beautiful pink sparkly number from Plumo. Lusted after it for ages, finally found a reason to buy it and... I looked like a fat fairy.

Thehairthebod · 12/12/2017 21:02

A few months ago I wore a short tulle skirt with tights with a shirt tucked in, gold sequin blazer and leopard print ankle boots. I thought I was just treading the right line of 'slightly different/interesting'. About halfway through the night I caught myself in a full length mirror in the loos and I looked much closer to this:

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
crackerjacket · 12/12/2017 18:08

Had my hair cut day.
Expectation: gamine pixie chic
Reality: Lego character

^

Freakin GOLD

nigelschristmasham · 12/12/2017 16:46

Ecclesiastes...that's inspired! Im going to keep them because they are warm and also because if I follow your advice they will also improve my deportment!

TossDaily · 12/12/2017 14:48

Well...it's not too bad.

I narrowly escaped a Velma from Scooby Doo by making her thin it out, though Shock

Knittedfairies · 12/12/2017 14:43

I am crying, crying I tell you, at the Hamble haircut!

Parrish · 12/12/2017 14:22

I bought a glamorous black sun hat with a wide floppy brim that made me look like Catherine Zeta Jones...or so I thought. DH said I bore more than a passing resemblance to the Hogwarts sorting hat. Bastard.

Ecclesiastes · 12/12/2017 14:10

nigel, how about you put your feet in first position and impress all you meet with your boots and your turnout?

nigelschristmasham · 12/12/2017 13:50

I just bought some shearling lined boots from (whispers) Boden... they are doubly disappointing as from the side they look ace, they fold over so they make my legs look skinny and long and I look like someone who goes for many autumnal walks whilst looking rosy and pretty. From the front however for some reason they look like snow boots a middle aged, very frumpy mrs Claus would wear to catch a bus into town. What to do? Keep them and stand side on to everyone I meet?

Asitgoes · 12/12/2017 13:32

Had my hair cut day.
Expectation: gamine pixie chic
Reality: Lego character

FernCurl · 12/12/2017 13:16

Similarly, leopard print.
In my head: Brigitte Bardot. In fitting room mirror: Lily Savage.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
FernCurl · 12/12/2017 13:06

Oh yes. I have never given up on my dream of looking like a cool boho chick in floaty pucci-style prints. However, reality = psychedelic Hyacinth Bucket.

Ditto, pillarbox red lipstick. In my head, 50s bombshell. In the mirror: Christine Hamilton

Ecclesiastes · 12/12/2017 12:40

Lol at blunt copper bob.

Isn't that what Wendolene Ramsbottom had?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 12/12/2017 11:35

Even Beyoncé is not immune

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
VeryPunny · 12/12/2017 11:33

Leather leggings. Have accepted they are Not For Me. Also similar effect with skinnies. Makes my legs look like some chipolatas from the sausage stuffing round on the Generation Game.

TossDaily · 12/12/2017 11:23
Sad
Lolly49 · 12/12/2017 11:12

TossDaily another willy wonka I fear.

TossDaily · 12/12/2017 10:54

I'm going to look like a cabbage patch kid, I just know it.

TossDaily · 12/12/2017 10:51

Oh god, I've just asked for a blunt copper bob.

fishonabicycle · 12/12/2017 10:38

Hair - when I was about 19 I had a bleached pixie cut - I looked like a young pat butcher. Recently dyed hair (semi permanent light brown - to cover greys). Result: Eastern European prostitute.

Clothes wise I'm really small - I nearly always look like I'm wearing my mum's clothes.

Lolly49 · 12/12/2017 10:06

Cream blouse and brown linen trousers .Bad enough I thought I looked like a pint of Guinness until my Dd asked me why I was dressed as a fart.
Also had the willy wonka.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
IheartCaptainHolt · 12/12/2017 09:35

Mash potato monster might be the funniest thing I've ever read on here!

QueenThisTime · 12/12/2017 09:26

I have actually failed to learn the lessons of this thread and just managed a new one of these :(

Creamy-beige coloured cable-knit thermal leggings and long-sleeved top to wear as pjs/loungewear.

Expectation: Imagined myself curled up in front of a roaring radiator log fire sipping cocoa, or possibly Baileys, in a glam luxe hygge/apres-ski kind of way, looking snuggly yet sexy.

Reality: Like the honey monster, but cream. Kind of mashed potato monster.

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