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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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clumsyduck · 13/12/2017 23:29

Thanks for the laughs ladies I'm in stitches at some of these !!

Nothing to add as I don't do online shopping as I don't think iv ever had a successful purchase !!

Onlyme100 · 13/12/2017 23:15

bought a black sparkly, frill shoulder knitted top for Christmas.... thought I looked on trend until my dd pointed out that Halloween was over. ....refund!

SleepIsForTheWeek · 13/12/2017 23:09

Another hair disaster here.
Hairdresser: You've got a lovely wave to your hair, has no-one ever suggested you make the most of it?
Me: Someone has seen something in me that others haven't...
Ends up looking like the lead singer of an all female 80s soft rock band who specialise in power ballads.
Flatmate an hour later: Hahahahahahaha

nigelschristmasham · 13/12/2017 22:08

Mavis Cruet.Im crying laughing.

ASDismynormality · 13/12/2017 21:12

I had my hair cut, was expecting a tidy bob. My hair was more curly than it used to be and I just looked like Micky Flannigan!

UterusUterusGhali · 13/12/2017 20:40

My pelvic floor was tested by "fat match". Grin

RoseWhiteTips · 13/12/2017 18:58

Mahoosive roller ball deodorant!!!

Lollol

RoseWhiteTips · 13/12/2017 18:57

What a fantastic read this thread is! You are all great!!

TarquinGyrfalcon · 13/12/2017 18:46

And I've just remembered the parka that I was so thrilled with until DO pointed out I looked like Kenny off Southpark

TarquinGyrfalcon · 13/12/2017 18:37

A red knitted Phase Eight dress.

I looked like a tomato - it was a particularly unflattering length on me and made me look spherical.

The only upside was I sold it on Ebay for a profit - had to take the photos of the dress hanging up as no bugger would have purchased it if they had seen it on me

TossDaily · 13/12/2017 18:24

Grin at 'an elephant with my face' GrinGrin

Knittedfairies · 13/12/2017 17:14

Each of these posts are funny, but together they are hysterical.

My husband wears a hat that makes him look like a mahoosive roller ball deodorant..

thenewaveragebear1983 · 13/12/2017 14:14

This thread rang in my ears today when I discovered our local sainsburys had a massive sale in their TU department.

Beautiful soft knitted jumper, cable knit, grey- thinking Christmas hit video, snowballs, cocoa by the fire.
Reality- an elephant with my face.

MistyMeena · 13/12/2017 09:54

Just returned to this thread.....crying at 'the Windy Miller years' Grin

PinkFrangipani · 13/12/2017 09:46

@Floisme Well said!! The experimental nature of fashion is what makes it so fun! Ladies, I salute you all for your wonderful wit, your marvelous story telling and of course your services to fashion! 🤘🏼

UterusUterusGhali · 13/12/2017 09:27

I love the "military look" trend that comes round every few years. It suits me, but the khaki shirt-dress with epulates I bought last year combined with my colouring and penchant for scarves made me look like a female Kurdish paramilitary.

Not a terrible look, but not really a look for Sainsbury's.

Wilburissomepig · 13/12/2017 07:50

Kind of mashed potato monster.

GrinGrinGrin

Floisme · 13/12/2017 07:33

And wear that kilt!

Floisme · 13/12/2017 07:32

IHave please don't be disheartened. This thread is just laughing at ourselves and I think it would be a real shame if it put people off experimenting.

All fashion is inherently silly. Even things I thought were pretty tame 15 years ago look ridiculous now. It doesn't matter.

And some people do look good in a crisp white tucked in shirt. In fact I think I can look pretty good myself tucked in - just not in white! We're all different.

ItsNotUnusualToBe · 13/12/2017 01:09

These are epic!

Me: cute, practical, short hair...
Mother "you look like a lesbian extra from prisoner cell block H"

Me: I wonder what I look like in a tulle skirt
Mirror: Mavis Cruet.

ThePortlyPinUp · 12/12/2017 22:49

I bought this frock for my grad ball in the summer thinking I had a voluptuous figure and the confidence to carry it off. Tried it on to show my 4dds who told me I looked like that character from a film, after questioning it turned out to be Ursula from the little mermaid Hmm

I chose a different dress for the ball.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 12/12/2017 22:45

The 70s, ah the 70s....
Lulled by the pictures of soft focus maidens strolling through fields of wildflowers, I finally succumbed to
The Laura Ashley Long dress. Floral

Reality
Laura Ashley chaise longue. Floral

Mbear · 12/12/2017 22:39

I bought some fab harem type trousers from Cos, I really like them and they look acceptable. I decided to improve said look, and to do this I needed some new trainers. And they had to sparkly. Fuck knows why.... I looked like Aladdin and not in a good way 😆😆😆

Madonnasmum · 12/12/2017 22:30

I have never laughed (well, snorted) so much on a thread. I wish I could remember my many, many fashion disasters but afraid I have banished them from memory in shame.
Thanks all. Especially for Hamble.

onemouseplace · 12/12/2017 21:56

I still remember in the late 90s when I got my hair cut into a what I imagined was the Gywneth Paltrow Sliding Doors haircut. According to my Dad, it was more David Beckham than Gywinnie.

And I've got a fairly recent one - I bought that M&S navy satin shirtwith the big puffy sleeves after seeing it on a couple of bloggers thinking it would be perfect for Christmas parties - I've worn it once (with black skinnies and metallic boots) and I felt like that bonkers chef Michael O'Hare. Plus, the bows at the elbow kept coming undone and I had to get my friend to do them up as I couldn't manage them one handed!