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Original poster

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

706 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 17/12/2017 08:41

The disappointment extends to perfume...

When I was 20, my slightly older boyfriend with a high earning job bought me a large bottle of Joy perfume
Expectation : "The Costliest Perfume in the World" (its advertising tagline)
Reality : cat pee

hummingbirdhostage · 17/12/2017 08:30

Goal: A gorgeous platinum lilac long haired fur jacket. Just right for chilly evenings out.

Reality: Cookie Monster. At any time of day or outside temperature

LoveBeingAMum555 · 16/12/2017 23:22

Ok I am probably getting a bit too old for a chunky knit, faded denim mini over leggings and tan leather calf length boots but DS told me I looked like an eco-warrior and asked if I was going to chain myself to a tree.

Like another poster I have a (never worn) midnight blue sequined dress in the wardrobe somewhere. Makes me look like I have stepped out of a 1970s Saturday night game show. All I need is blue eyeliner.

eloisesparkle · 16/12/2017 20:54

TheOtherGirl GrinGrinGrin

Pajamagirl · 16/12/2017 20:46

Any leggings
Idea - waif like ballerina type
Reality , principal boy or max wall !

manicbutfunctioning · 16/12/2017 19:39

A frilled shoulder top - soooo cool but not when it makes you look like a salamander dragon. Which is exactly what it did!

clumsyduck · 16/12/2017 19:04

sing song Grin

I'm the opposite on changing rooms I hate them - the lighting , the mirrors eughh as soon as I step in I hate what I'm already wearing before I even get to trying on the new thing !! 😂

TheOtherGirl · 16/12/2017 17:33

I paid a small fortune (well some boyfriend did) to have an acid, spiral perm at the trendiest salon in town, back in 1989.

Me: tumbling Pre-Raphaelite, corkscrew ringlets cascading down my back.

Mirror: Crystal Tips (but without Alastair).

goose1964 · 16/12/2017 12:41

Hi gingernut I also had the infamous poodle cut.My hair is long and wavy and if I wear a headband even a gorgeous one I look like the hon Ffiona Hyphen-Hyphen.Im only missing the land rover , Labrador and stately pile in the country

TossDaily · 16/12/2017 08:09
quirkychick · 16/12/2017 07:31

I have quite wide shoulders, so my mistakes have been things that made me look like an American Football player...
White, chunky knit fairisle sweater, hoping for cool, winter/cosy/icelandic vibe > big woolly marshmallow
Furry gilet, going for snuggly boho chic > Sully from Monsters Inc
And when pg, beautiful, terracotta peasant blouse, hoping for relaxed earthy mother look > great big fat orange

Janetjanetjanet · 16/12/2017 03:23

ItsNotUnusualToBe

Intention: warm snuggle drapery wrap
Mirror: womble

^
GrinGrin

Tortycat · 16/12/2017 00:50

Ex bf moved to italy. I went to visit and thought I'd try to look a bit more stylish, so as not to be outdone by Italian ladies. Bought a black shirt dress and thought it looked great until he said i looked like a sinister nurse

ItsNotUnusualToBe · 15/12/2017 21:05

Intention: warm snuggle drapery wrap
Mirror: womble

addle · 15/12/2017 19:22

love this thread. so cheering. so vv funny

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 15/12/2017 19:14

@TheOtherGirl
If I'd looked as sexy in it as Ralph de Bricassart, I'd be happy!

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/12/2017 18:39

Oh shit, I own a long coatigan, I think it makes me look Skandi and snuggly, but am now worried people will be thinking their armchair has developed legs.
time to put that in the horror, never to be worn again, wardrobe

TossDaily · 15/12/2017 17:08

Long woolly coatigan.

Hope - Pinterest-worthy cosy Scandi chic, understated winter sexiness.

Reality - the sofa's on the move again.

TheOtherGirl · 15/12/2017 16:51

Maybe Father Ralph de Briccasant in The Thorn Birds, yes?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 15/12/2017 16:47

Back in the 80s I had a lovely black linen dress, narrow A line, full length.
Buttons all down the front and a little stand up collar.

I loved loved loved that dress.

I now realise that I must have looked like a Catholic priest in drag

TheOtherGirl · 15/12/2017 16:43

Few years ago wore a full length, sparkly, halter neck dress, with quite a deep scooped neckline. Was pleased that my brand new WonderBra straps could be fixed in a halter-neck position.

Felt very sleekly glamorous in my NBSS (no bra strap showing) dress and pretended I looked like the blonde from Girls Aloud in The Gift video.

Except.............................I'm a 34FF and the Wonder Bra hoiked my norks to just under my chin and not a single bloke could look me in the eye all night. They were transfixed. I looked like Bessy, the buxom bar wench who worked down at The Olde Bull & Bush circa 1756.

Wonder Bra went in bin the next morning.

CountFosco · 15/12/2017 16:27

Had a Christmas lunch at work today. Refuse to wear a Christmas jumper but did wear a sequined skirt with black ankle boots, opaque tights and jumper. Was going for seasonal relaxed glamour. But at 8am in the morning? Walk of shame.

TheOtherGirl · 15/12/2017 15:07

Iconic Alexander McQueen skull scarf

Fantasy; urban rock-chick chic.

Reality; Jack Sparrow's menopausal Mum.

Original poster
Swimminguphill · 15/12/2017 13:43

Sorry it is Gingernaut laughing too much to pay attention...

OP posts:
Original poster
Swimminguphill · 15/12/2017 13:41

I think ratonastick wins this thread with 'Cluedo Piece' I nearly died laughing when I read that...

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