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Original poster

Sharing the Shitness - HOF Advent Calendar SPOILERS

638 replies

Cheeseandcucumber · 02/12/2017 12:00

So it arrived damaged. Never mind, I thought, it's what's inside that counts...

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Original poster

Cheeseandcucumber · 18/12/2017 13:48

Ken is most certainly top dog of the family. He dictates when the heating goes on and off by lying with his paws propped up against a radiator and crying (he's cold - turn it on) or dragging himself away from it and shouting until it's turned off (too hot).

I'm delighted to announce the return of shittery goodness behind door number 18.

It's GLITTER EYELINER!

It has a glue-like texture that would drive me bonkers if it went anywhere near the eye. The glitter particles are like grains of sand so they'd be irritating but I suppose once it's added to the poisonous mascara that leave you blind, it won't seem half as bad.

God I missed the glitter.

Sharing the Shitness - HOF Advent Calendar SPOILERS

OP posts:

bluewoollyhat · 18/12/2017 13:06

I’ve just read this whole thread, thanks for the laughs. What’s behind today’s door then?

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 17/12/2017 17:12

The colour of the lipstick you got today doesn't look too bad but that's probably the only thing right with it!

Aw poor Ken being left at the vets like that. You've got a good heart & Ken's got a lovely mum/slave.
Is Ken the top dog in your furry family?

ToucheEcat · 17/12/2017 13:30

both sticky and chunky lipstick - HF really know how to a spoil a woman (and cat with political aspirations)

ARichVernacular · 17/12/2017 11:39

I have barely visited MN in the last few months. Thank you one and all for making this time so very worthwhile

Original poster

Cheeseandcucumber · 17/12/2017 11:21

Hoof of course! Now it all makes sense!

Day 17 brings us another lipstick. This one smells fruity and cheap. It's a reddish colour and has the texture of melted chocolate - quite sticky with some chunks here and there.

I don't dare put it on my lips so I've done a side by side swatch next to Day 7's shitty pink lipstick.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeseandcucumber · 17/12/2017 11:13

all of these compliments are going straight to Ken's head. His newfound arrogance will make him perfect for PM!

Tracy you know I have no idea what make Ken is
He was left at our vets as a kitten because his previous slaves didn't want to pay for the treatment he'd received and refused to take on any further much needed care. He had a few issues including pneumonia and was very poorly. We just happened to be there with one of our brood at the right time and ended up paying his bills and taking him home.

Paperdoll glad the thread cheered you up and hope all is well. Who knew HOF's piece of shit AC would actually end up bringing us some festive joy in a completely unintentional way

Aridane Ken and I feel honoured thank you!

Vajazzle kit is an excellent idea!! I think I might box all of the goods and label it Vajazzle Kit then enjoy the MIL's face when she opens it up on Christmas Day Apart from the funnel, I'm keeping that.

OP posts:

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/12/2017 11:06

^^Aha! That's what Johnny Depp is muttering about when he says "so vadge" in the advert. He has totally seen the contents of the HoF sadvent calendar.

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 17/12/2017 10:29

brilliant thread

love ken

i've sussed what all the glittery stuff is for and the stickers - obvious innit

its a xmas VAJAZZLE kit :)

enjoy op

Aridane · 17/12/2017 10:13

I have nominated this thread in site stuff for thread of the year. Shoe horned into two categories- feel good thread and CF ;HoF being the CF)

ColourCature · 17/12/2017 09:41

Meow!

sugarlost · 17/12/2017 09:26

Ken looks sooooo cute....thanks for the pic Cheese.
Where did you say you live again and where do you keep your funnels ? Lol

I’m hoping you get a wonderful sadvent gift today....

PaperdollCartoon · 17/12/2017 09:13

This really cheered me up during a long evening in A&E last night - really quite impressed with the level of shitness displayed here. What were HoF thinking?!

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/12/2017 06:08

This thread is fabulous.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/12/2017 23:30

I'm bewildered and utterly entranced by this thread, Cheese - and by the delectable Ken-the-Cat obviously.

I've never had an advent calendar with 'things' in and you've inspired me to get one next year. I'd better start saving up a squillion quid then.

Raptly waiting for tomorrow's horror.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 16/12/2017 22:51

OMG Ken is such a cutie.
Is he a Norwegian Forest or Maine Coon or part extraction?
He deserves a modelling contract.
Also loving the new Ken inspired names.

snowflakestar · 16/12/2017 22:49

Ken is gorgeous!

KenForPM · 16/12/2017 22:02

Ken is a BRILLIANT name for a cat!!

Original poster

Cheeseandcucumber · 16/12/2017 21:49

Ken thought his people should have a face to put to their new leader's name.

We've had the chat - if strangers stop him on the street and mention ACs/funnels, he's to lead them to a different house.

OP posts:

Aridane · 16/12/2017 21:45

Ken may have to ask MNHQ to,delete this thread for privacy reasons

KenForPM · 16/12/2017 21:43

WE HAVE A PHOTO OF KEN THAT SHOWS HIS FACE!!!

Original poster

Cheeseandcucumber · 16/12/2017 21:40

Ken is bowled over by the love on this thread.

the name changes are marvellous!

Tracy that's a brilliant description, posters on this thread have given me so many escaping skeleton moments

I think I might have just binned the calendar after day 2 had I not had this thread to share the joy! Sounds like that's what others did from the reviews on HOF

OP posts:

KenForPM · 16/12/2017 21:36

Noooo I’m KenForPM and not the OP I was toffee1000 if my first comment on the thread is still under that name.

FlashTheSloth · 16/12/2017 21:33

OP, have you NC to KenForPM, as your posts won't show in colour now!

I love my AC, but it's full of brilliant and useful things that I love (No7), this is far more entertaining. High point is definitely the funnel of mystery, low point, stickers.

Come HOF, stickers in an adult AC.

sugarlost · 16/12/2017 19:22

Where’s Ken??? It’s not the same without him....is he sleeping?

Love the user name changes lol

This is a Christmas Cracker reject sadvent Calender...how dare they sell you this shite Cheese....maybe just for laughs

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