Sharing the Shitness - HOF Advent Calendar SPOILERS

OP I do love your updates on this calendar ..... Really look forward to seeing the joys of your calendar unfold .

I've been laughing my head off at this, you know the silent laugh that won't let any sound out. Cute cat's paw though. Not getting this much fun but more candles out of my Yankee Candle AC.

Omg OP, I think I love you. You are hysterical! You've cheered me up after a shite few days.

I admit I also feel a bit smug opening my NYX lippie calendar every day which is utterly brilliantly and has already furnished me with seven gorgeous lip products I will actually get used out of. It's cheering me up every morning!

I also have a dairy and gluten free chocolate advent calendar (chocologic) which tastes delicious so I'm a happy bunny. But somehow I'm even happier reading your comedy than opening my own calendar. Watching with intrigue.

@Cheeseandcucumber I LOVE that you used your cat as a tape measure 😂😂😂😂

Fuck this is funny. The cat’s paw! Thanks OP.

I think the funnel is a ‘SheWee’ for a Russian hamster or dormouse.

Was just looking at Glamour magazine while at the hairdressers and it said that glitter is the best accessory this season (article was full of grown women with glitter all over their faces!) and that the best tool when it comes to glitter is Sellotape. Can't wait to see what you get next Sellotape would be more useful than the funnel though.

I love the fact that the lipstick has a transparent 80s style lid. I bet the branding meeting went like this

Branding person 1 'how can we convey the total naffness of the brand'

Branding person 2 ' I know with see through plastic packaging a la cheap market stall tat style'

Head of brand ' promote that person right now'

Blue there are no more tasks in The Apprentice (unless it's designed by one of the final two, although I don't think anyone's business is crappy advent calendars).

Warning - spoiler ahead iro one shit item

This was the review of HoF SS (Super Shit) Advent Calendar in The Sun:

"House of Fraser’s bargain advent calendar offers 24 mini beauty products, from the store’s own collection Colour Couture, working out at less than a pound per product – a pretty sweet bargain.

This Christmas countdown seems to be aimed at the teen market, with glittery eyeliner and lip gloss galore, so it could be the perfect December treat for your daughter – but you may want to borrow some of the lippy or nail polish for yourself.

Favourite item: Gold and pink eye-shadow dust

Worst item: Silver eye crayon, very 90s

Our rating: 7/10"

This thread is worth it for the tiny cute cat paw on its own! You don't need to dazzle us with your daily gifts.

I think we have to be cautious about who accessing this thread...there were only 20 of the glitter collection in stock at dunelem...come evening they may very well be sold out....this is a brand that has something special about it...there is depth and a hidden agenda I'm sure...

Eeny The Duchess and cheese may well become brand ambassadors and you may well be right about Meghan. Goodness they may try and get Cheese cat involved...weather she likes it or not!

I pray to God Phillip Green isn't involved in this creation or he doesn't deserve to become any richer!

Oh dear that lipstick looks shite. I briefly considered the HOF AC when scoping out ACs - so glad it was crossed off my list. The saying you get what you pay for doesn’t quite apply though as the products are not worth £25... although in terms of comedy value... priceless

This special collection has definitely been curated by either Zoella or an Apprentice team (perhaps this is the output of next week’s task??)

The cat's paw as a measuring device made me roar with laughter. Now everyone's looking at me!!

Ooh - the brand is also sold by Dunelm, you know, the bed linen place - www.dunelm.com/product/colour-couture-the-bronze-shimmer-collection-1000102187

It reminds me of the Constance Carroll brand of the 1980's, even the same initials. Perhaps some one found a box in a warehouse somewhere and came up with this idea for getting rid of the stock.

Some Colour Couture eBay treats - www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/colour-couture

I google Colour couture - and it gives me a link to velour tracksuits - www.colourcouture.co.uk/

A quick look at the HoF website reveals that Colour Couture is not listed among their brands and that no Colour Couture products are actually for sale.

Clearly Colour Couture products are so special that only those in the know can access them.

Only the Duchess of Cambridge and OP have that exclusive lipstick right now. They're currently assessing Meghan Markle to see whether she might be allowed one as well. Shhhhh.

Cheese please put the lipstick on and post a pic of your lips!

I love this thread and I love your cat's paw even more

This is the best advent calendar ever...f**k Liberty 's & M&S...they couldn't bring me the tears of laughter that this Calender has!

Fuck knows who the target audience for this are? That lipstick is one of those free samples they used to tape to Seventeen Magazine.

What child can successfully decant glitter through a funnel though? Or work out what to do?

I mean why buy a glittery nail varnish when you can fanny about trying to make one using a plain varnish, some glitter and a tiny funnel with no instructions.

Oooh just like the one in Girl’s World! Lucky fuckerness still coming your way.

The cat is being so obliging and helpful.
I suspect he has previous modelling experience.

This makes me laugh every day! The cat's paw!!!