If teenagers were on AIBU

OMG, my bitch of a mum has no idea just how important it is that I actually have, like, my phone, attached to me, like all the time. She even expects me to put it down when I am eating, like, duh, I can hold it in one hand and my fork in the other. Simples. all she has to do is cut it up for me first, like, innit. You wouldn't think that would cause her to sound off, but it did, like, again! How else am I am going to know like, how many likes, I have? My facebook photo is banging, I've got my cropped top on and am sucking it all it, like, big time, while pushing out the girls so they look ahmayzing! Loads better than that slag Jodie, she was practically naked. At least I kept my bra on, didn't I? You'd think that would make the old bitch happy, but she's just wel jel cos hers are sagging down to her knees. I've had about 74 replies so far, all saying things like "you look gawg doll" and "well hawt" so, like I have to reply to every one, even if it's a simple, like, "thanks babe, no you the stunna, not me". I think I really like nailed it in this one, it's one of my best yet; brows on fleek, trout pout lip lined in a different colour to really emphasis my lips, and the girls on display. So, why can't the old cow see I need to respond to my fans, like INSTANTLY! Omg, like, she wants me to be polite! AIBU????

Well yah, we went to Sainsbos but, yah they didn't have the right pesto, so yah we went to Waitrose and yah we got it there and, yah we got some nice gin. Then we went to the arts library and put in a few hours, yah, and Charlotte and Lucy came round. It was a blast.

( I can't be the only one with a private school educated, uni student teen?)

My mum won't give me £50 a week, it's so sham. I mean, like, I'm 15 now so I need it to chill out with mates and get a takeaway every day but she says I can eat the food at home. They chat shit all the time. They wanna know where I'm going and who I'm with, I'm only going to the park, innit.

My mum is like totally embarrassing. Yesterday we were at a football match and Ben was there with his dad. And the cow actually went and waved at them, I begged her not to but she laughed in my face and told ME to LIGHTEN UP!!! I don’t know how I can face him at school tomorrow after that TOTAL HUMILIATION.

surely a Classic?

I suppose it depends on the age of the teenager

13/14 - AIBU to think mum shouldn't complain when I dont get dressed at the weekend and just game?

18/19- AIBU to worry about getting a job and whether I'll ever own a home?

Who is BU? Mum told me to sort my own breakfast out before school, so I did, and I got out of he house in time to catch the bus. Now she gives me shit for doing it?

yeah so what if what I ate was half a chocolate cake? If she doesn't care enough to make my breakfast, I'm gonna eat what I want.

No I'm not unreasonable!! The cake was there. She said to feed myself. So I ate cake. Yeah I did this two days in a row. So what? Make my toast then, woman!!!

actual me when I was 14. This still gets brought up from time to time

YABU - no teenagers are called Darren or Maxine these days 😂 It's 2017 not 1992 (lighthearted!)

My ridiculous mum asked me to go to the shop yesterday to get us a treat. WTAF? I was BUSY. I was lying on my bed playing Skyrim. I was doing a quest ffs. She knows that that's far more important than real life shit.
She obviously hasn't learned as she is telling me to get all the washing she has ironed and put it away. Ffs it's all my school clothes and I don't go back for a week I can easily dump it on my desk and leave it there until next Sunday and if all my other stuff is put on top of it it's easier to pick it up instead of going to all the trouble of opening drawers isn't It? But no, she says if I don't put it away she will surgically remove my phone from my hand for 2 days! How bloody unreasonable can she get?

AIBU to think my Mum should chillax about Dan swearing? And she says he's better looking than Phil. She doesn't even ship Phan.

She just doesn't get how like Oh Em Gee they are.

So I told Mum to get me some new Converse by Monday and to definitely make sure they were, like, the latest edition and not those sad all-white ones she wears with her mum-jeans. So, anyway, yeah...she shows me the 'lovely new running shoes' she got me this morning (running shoes? Hello?!) and they are NOT EVEN CONVERSE. They're from this sad shop where mum buys her mum boots called Next. Next. Sounds so Tragic, right? I literally CANNOT trust her to buy me anything. GOD.

So my parents keep, like, saying I should like, revise for me exams?
But they don’t, like, count because they are just, like, mocks?
I might, like, do a bit for the real, like, GCSEs next year?
But, like, I don’t need them anyway because, like, I’m going to be, like, famous?
I have, like, no specific talent but, like, I can post some YouTube vids and companies will, like, just give me, like, massive hauls of stuff?
Then I can, like, go on Love Island and be, like, even more famous?

(Why do teens make every sentence sound like a question?)

JackieMac77 Ikr, the grandma trick is the best! My bitch mother is still not talking to Grandma, so I can keep telling Grandma that I can't get hold of mum and need money and Grandma has to keep giving it to me as she can't check with mum and feels sorry for me!

NamasteTheFuckAwayFromMe That happened to me too - literally ages ago I wrote 'Taylor Swift' and 'One Direction' around posters of them on my bedroom wall, before they got covered with vampire posters. My mum went to paint the walls a few months ago and went absolutely ballistic at me as the house is rented (which is entirely her decision - I would've just bought a house 'cause then you can do what you want to it, obviously, so it's her own stupid fault anyway).

Then, mum started painting the walls and when they had dried, the red sharpie still showed through, as if it was written on top of the paint. So the fussy cow made a big deal about the fact she had to scrape the paint off and replaster a section of the wall, and had another massive go at me. I was like WTAF? I can't predict the future can I? I didn't know One Direction were going to split up, did I? And even if I did, it wasn't my fault they (ironically) went their separate ways was it? Irony is literally the only thing I remember from GCSE English lessons, and that's the only reason why. She was like blaming me for it! Plus, Taylor Swift's new song isn't even that lame, so I don't even know why my mum is so bothered.

AIBU? I get great grades and I’m no trouble in my opinion my mum doesn’t know how lucky she is that I’m her DD so why does she have a go at me all the time? She’s just so angry I honestly wonder if she has mental health problems. T mates think she’s cool but honestly she just puts on an act with them. I try and tell them what she’s like. Yesterday I had baked a load of cupcakes and I was going to clean the kitchen just had to watch Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares first it’s just so great. And she goes mad at me. And it’s so unfair cos she lets my brother (he’s got my mums mental health issues too plus he’s a knob) get away with everything

One day she’ll be sorry she was so nasty to me. I feel quite sad for her life tbh all she does is work and sleep and not even keep the house clean god sometimes it’s so filthy I have to get the hoover out of my BF is coming over.

oh btw here is more evidence of DM's hypocritical, selfish attitude...
So she gave me her works office number 'to ring in an emergency' like she can't trust me to cope on my own ffs....
So a few weeks later I phone her work while she's on shift (she's a support worker for vulnerable adults so her jobs a piece of piss...she's never busy and anyone could do it)
It was SO ANNOYING having to wait while they went and found her as I was in a state, so like after literally HOURS she comes to the phone like all 'What is it, what's happened, are you ok?' SO CONDESCENDING and stupid as obvs I'm not ok or I wouldn't have rung FFS!!!!
So I go 'mum you need to get me a subway on your way home from work as I'm starving and there's no food in' I mean like WTAF is wrong with that???? I need to eat!
SO then she says 'I gave you this number for emergencies- this is not an emergency!'..... OMGOMG it so fucking is!
ME: 'It is an emergency I'm starving and there's no food'
HER: 'There is food - there is pasta and sauce you can make or there is a pizza in the freezer.'
SANCTIMOANYUS BITCH- I'm not going to eat pasta without cheese WHO DOES THAT????? and she knows I can't stand thin crust pizza ffs!
ME: 'I don't like that pizza and I'm not wasting my time cooking stuff I don't want.'
HER: 'Well if you were starving you would be willing to eat what's there, plus there's cereal in the cupboard if you're desperate'
ME: 'Mum I am actually starving here cause you never got the right stuff in for me. I need a subway'
HER: 'There is a difference between want and need. I doubt you are actually starving as you were eating a Dominoes, potato wedges, milkshake and pringles after midnight last night.'
Right so like that was like HOURS AGO!!!!!
Then the cheeky cow hung up on me after moaning on about 'old enough to sort something out' and 'very busy here/emergencies only' crap.
AIBU to say she shouldn't give me a number to phone then complain when I use it and she is just a hypocrite.
It's DEFO so NOT unreasonable for me to not to eat food I don't like, it's almost abuse-Should I phone Childline?

My mother keeps telling me to bring down the cups, plates general shit from my room.
AIBU to just leave them on the landing banister?

Also she expects me to actually make my bed, doesn't she realise I'll be laying in it most of the weekend?

AIBU to think my mum was rude when she did her 'hmmm' face when I explained how the red wine blood stains got onto her new leather sofa?

And wtaf? She read my book, signed by all my friends when we left year 11 and found out that it wasn't the dog and the neighbourhood fox having a fight, which left the dog with blood on him before he sat on the sofa; it was actually a party I threw while they were at an overnight party (hypocrites) for someone's 50th (I mean, what's the point at that age?).

She said she knew it was a party because the old biddy in the pink dressing gown told her (what was she even doing outside at 3am?), but it wasn't, it was an "intimate gathering" of around 40 teenagers.

She needs to chill out.

(Disclaimer- said teen is now 30 and is as straight laced as they come!)

So I need new clothes for college and literally EVERYONE is going shopping to London for stuff. My Mum won't give me any money?!? WTAF? Says she's not giving me money as I'll spend £60 on one jumper when I could buy 4 for that price in Primark. She doesn't get that brands MATTER and are a statement about WHO YOU ARE!!!

Don't get why all the oldies are so triggered- I only altered the truth a little. And it was only a little fight - not much blood...... and if I had told you the truth you wouldn't have let me go to the party.....

(Videos all over snapchat might show something different......)

OMG you lot are sooooo unlucky. I'm really lucky because my mum has literally like no clue what I get up to at all. She thinks I spend my days like literally working hard and my evenings watching literally films with my friends or revising.

She's so square that she has no idea what I get waved with my friends most nights, and am snogging random boys and have , like, the longest story ever on snap.