If teenagers were on AIBU

Well I texted HER and asked HER to bring my project into to school as I kinda forgot to put it in my bag like she’s nags me to every night (or was it because I was wearing my noise cancelling headphones?) and she said she was busy like, I mean it’s not as if she’s got a job like. She had the the nerve to point out that if I got on my bike i could make it home at back at break, (like that’s gonna happen) or she could ‘pop it in a taxi, which would be about £10 and he’d probably need to be paid when he got there,’ Does she think I’m made of money? What else has she got to do all day?

WTF is wrong with this picture? I make my own lunch don’t I? Does she really expect me to eat the fatty bits and the rind too? And don’t talk to me about salad, green stuff is for losers.

Does anyone know where the fuck Oxbridge is? as my school says I good enough to study there annnnnnnnnnd they even told my 'rents at the last 'rents evening.

Now thanks to school, my oldies are now nagging (more like ordering, if you see what i mean?) me to apply as "i'll be the 1st in the family to do so "...but I show them by getting a job doing what i enjoy.

AIBU to be totally embarrassed by how my mum looks? I’ve really tried to help her but she just will not let me do her eyebrows, highlight and contouring. She keeps going on about how I look prettier without it and not needing all that muck and the ‘natural look’. Don’t get me started on the mom jeans and her obsession with cardigans and fleeces. We went shopping last week and I just refused to go in White Stuff and Joules - those shops give me anxiety. Why can’t she just get stuff from Topshop like normal people.

My mum keeps telling me to wear a coat. FFS doesn’t she know that nobody wears coats these days 🙄

Oh god, the music thing! My mum is soo basic but she somehow knows the words to all the songs from Glee even though she's never watched the show! Like she knows them from a past life or something.

And I was playing a cool new Spice Girls video on YouTube and she sang along and said she was listening to the Spice Girls before I was born! Which is impossible as they only look about 17 in the Wannabe video, so I know she's lying to mess with me.

Plus, a new release came on the radio the other day in the car called 'Let's Talk About Sex Baby' and before I could go to switch the station to avoid having to listen to a song which is so blatantly about sex in front of my mother, she got all excited and said 'no, leave it, I know this!' and started singing along with all the lyrics. All of them. Soo cringe.

CBAAAAAAAA. I had a shower, OK? Well OK I washed my hair and sprayed myself with some Lynx - it's just as good. Why didn't I go in the shower? Uuuhhh. CBA. Takes too long. I haven't got time.

Stop talking to me, I'm busy. What? I've got to watch eleventy million YouTube clips and scream freeee shh avock adoooo so loud the cat scarpers.

And when my mates come over don't say ANYTHING to them. And hide my sister. On second thoughts we'll just stay outside. With our heads tilted, flicking our hair.

Yeah, but like my mum had a real hissy pissy fit just cos I like stood under the shower for 40 minutes like this morning. I mean, for God's sake like, she made me get out of bed for school, how the fuck does she think I am going to wake up? And so what if I had't even washed my hair or any thing in that time. I showed her, I used her well expensive stuff to get her back, and left the empty bottles on the shower floor. That'll teach her to yell at me. It's not even as if we have to pay for water is it, I mean, like, it comes from the sky. It's my basic human right. And now the silly cow will have to drive me to school because I'm late and it's ALL HER FAULT because of the shouting. How am I supposed to concentrate in school when she winds me up before I even get there. At least I can put my head phones in in the car and ignore her. She can bloody drop me round the corner too so no one sees me with her. Bloody embarrassing. AIBU or what like?

Mums got the arse with me AGAIN, can't do nothing right these days. I'm sure she's bipolar. She makes me go to nans every wed after school as she thinks she needs the company and says it the least I can do, as I do nothing else apparently!

Amyways I'm like coming out of school and send mum a text asking her to get me an uber to nans. The menopausal nag doesn't even reply so I send 20 more begging her and even say please ..... she gets the arse, says she's in a meeting and stop texting and get the bus and I'm lazy!!

Lazy! Bet she wouldn't want to wait for a bus with a load of jarring year 7s just to go and see an old lady. .... and I'm desperate for a crap but she couldn't care less, says I should use school toilets ..... errrr hello have you seen them!!

And I'm starving cos the tight bitch only puts a tenner on my lunch account each week.

Love this, very much needed after the weekend we've had with our teens, and must show it to DH later😂

Seriously!!! My dad tells me off for not listening! He told me to get a move on, so I asked if he could bring my uniform upstairs for me. He kept shouting up that he couldn’t find it! Then he wakes my mum up. My mum has a chronic illness and needs her sleep. So she told him it was on the horse where she hung it up last night. Apparently he thought I said unicorn! But mum heard uniform! So how come I can’t give him you need to listen speech.

My mum is much more unreasonable than yours. I am so EMBARRASSED by her. In every possible way.

Omg my mom had the nerve to SPEAK to my friend when she let them in.
I mean wtf and then the cheeky cow has a go at me when I tell her to go away so me and di can attempt to draw eyebrows on and FaceTime jo. We NEED the kitchen table to do it despite having my own bedroom which involves making my little brother sit on the floor.

My mum bought me the make up that I've been going on about for like aggggeeesss and then expects a thank you. But the silly cow bought me a shade lighter than my
Normal been tangoed colour.

My Ma is a bitch! Theres like this well sick party with people who have vodka and weed ffs and she says I can't go cuz she wants my to keep my brain cells. Like whattttttttttt? She aint got none left cuz she's old.

she also sez I'm not allowed to talk to my ex just cuz he stalked me and threatened to kill me when we broke up! fuck me, what else will I be able to make drama with to tell the girlz now?

I don't know why I'm posting here cuz I ANBU! ever.

I'm going to be a teenager next month, so I've been practising in advance yeah, and like OMG my parents went mental just because I ruined my mum's birthday dinner by throwing a massive strop in a restaurant when they said I can't have a new iphone because, get this, the one I've got "is only a year old"! I mean it's practically steam-powered, I'm going to be soooo embarrassed at the lame posh girls' school they force me to go to so I can get a decent education. Anyway I sort of said sorry the next day - I texted the old biddy and everything, threw in a couple of heart emojis, 'cos that gets her every time. I suppose I could have actually come downstairs and said it to her face but I was really busy facetiming Elissa 'cos she's having a crisis - her parents won't let her have the adidas superstars she REALLY NEEDS.

My dad and stepmum keep saying I'm addicted to screens yeah, but I'm so totally NOT, I can stop any time I want to it's just that I don't want to OK? Like they always say that if they never told me to do something else then all I would do is look at a screen all day, and I say that is SO NOT TRUE and there has been at LEAST one time where I have swivelled my eyes away from my phone/tablet/computer in order to reply to some inane question of theirs before swivelling them back again, and if that's not proof that I'm NOT ADDICTED and SO DO have a BALANCED LIFE then what is?

SaucyJackteen that is sooo embarrassing. My mum is just as bad about the 90's though too yeah, I told my old mum about Nirvana, it's like, it sounds like it should be new music but she told me it's not and that it's from the 90's, she knows all the words to all the songs and even worse than that, so does my dad and he's like even more embarrassing than her, he doesn't even have a phone or anything. Like how can do this? Every time you try to teach them about stuff they claim it's theirs. I think they make it up just to keep us subservient or something. Yeah?

The really sucky thing is ny dad made me search the park near our house and I found the stupid number plate. And the guys tracked down the dodgy guy and got the stolen stuff back... so I missed a party for nothing.

My parents totally like suck! Just because some dodgy guys came over when I was having some friends round and stole my brothers skateboard and some of his friends stuff and the numberplates of my Dad's work car they called the police. Then me and all my mates had to talk to the police and they asked all our ages and OMG one of the boys is only 15! We all thought he was 16 like us... haha my mate is sooo embarassed for getting with him. Anyway then my mates dad came over and just kept talking to us all about responsibility. Then everyone else went to stay at another friends house but my stupid rents wouldn't let me go.

"My mum is like SO old, she doesn't even know what a meme is,"

I wish my Mum was the same LinoleumTeen. She keeps pretending her generation invented social media, and she even says she went on YouTube before I was even born! She's like so old she's 35 or 36 or something (I can't be expected to remember which obviously). They all had nothing but black and white telly back in the 90s? Yeah?.

I even showed her this really cool new show on Netflix called The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and her and my step-dad started trying to rap along to the theme song like they'd heard it before. I don't even know what's going on here. Soooo embarrassing.

Omg Gretchen, my mum is obsessed with wet towels too!

She keeps making me hang them up as she says that leaving them rolled up behind my bed isn't an effective way to dry them - doesn't she understand that I don't want to dry them, I just want them out of my life?!?

My mum is like SO old, she doesn't even know what a meme is, and she didn't even have a phone to listen to music, they all just just went around with something called a "walkman" some shit that counts your steps or something. That's why they're all so weird. And she wanted me to go with her to get a gift for a girl whose party I was invited to. I mean WTF do I need to go for? I'm not a mind reader, how do I know what kind of gifts girls like, like she should just go out and get the gift while she's doing all her boring mum stuff. Like a I b u, I don't want to be seen shopping with my mum ffs, she's so embarrassing.

AIBU to just want this parent app off my phone now! I mean like who even does this to their kid she's stalking me