If teenagers were on AIBU

I KNOW...

I KNOW...

I KNOW alright

You don't need to keep going on and on and on about it Jeeeeeeezzzzz

So the cow bought me an ipad and now wants me to snapchat her. Like as if! She only bought it so she could stalk me. Bitch. She's like so embarrassing. Then, if I do find time to talk to her, when I really don't have time, it's like 20 questions about school FFS. AIBU to tell her snapchat has closed down and I can't get a phone signal? Plus she asks about my friends as if she has met them or something. How is Stephen, how is Holly. How about she fucks right off and stops pretending she knows anything about my life.
And oh, the immortal shame. She starts telling me about porn on the web and I put her in her place and told her that I know like ten times more than she will ever know. She's so unreasonable.

Like, yeah, like wtf m8?
Like I'm running l8 so I Aks her 4 a lift. Does she get me!? Does she fuck.
So now I can't go to school and I ain't going to tell her and like fuck her. Fuck him. Fuck school. Fuck the police.
I'm gunna sit here and watch porn and wank into a sock then watch MTV and pretend I'm a black gangsta rapper and not a middle class white boi from chiswick.
And fuck all them mumsnet cunts!
Bad fucking influence in my old un.
I seed her posts and wot she writes innit?
Fucking puts
Aibu? My son is a lazy shit wannabe gangsta rapper who slices school and smokes weed and masturbates into socks and leaves them to crust.
That's fucking confidential info I'm phoning the socials.
Get me own place innit

So me and the boys wanted to go and see IT last Saturday.?Mum was moaning that we wouldn't get in just cos we are only 13 and it is a 15 but what does she know......She knows nothing so said it was up to us . I asked to borrow her passport for ID but she wouldn't give me it....so selfish....Think we would definitely have got in if Aidan hadn't asked for a slushy and some pick n mix at the desk and it was so embarrassing when we had to get our money back in front of the huge queue....

So because my mum fucked off out on a horse safari with my sister I went to get a pedicure with my gran at the hotel spa & now mums come back & is actual raging that I've went to the spa & not thought to leave the room key with my auntie so that she could get in to get changed out of her minging clothes even though the last thing she said before leaving was that I need to remember & leave the key if I go anywhere... but it's cool cause gran had a go at her for having a go at me & gran paid for my pedicure, my hair braiding & bought me a new hoody! Told her I'm moving into grans room for the rest of the holiday cause she's way cooler easier to manipulate than that bitchface!

AIBU to not want to have to clear up my mess each day.
I had to get out of bed this morning, get dressed, eat a breakfast that I didn't even want and go to school for like 40 Hours and then walk home again.
Mum doesn't do anything except her job and cooking dinner so why can't she do something for me for a change and stop going on at me and pick things up herself. She needs the exercise more than me anyway.
If it bothers her that much she should get a cleaner and stop expecting me to be her skivvy all the time.

So my mum only asked 5 times this morning if I had my dinner money this morning. Don't know why she is going mad now cos I've texted her in work to tell her I don't have any. She got my Gran to hand some into the school office how embarrassing. I don't know if my grans been to the office yet and that's been at least 5 minutes since I asked and so I think I'll text my mum again lots of times to ask her....she's told me to go up to the office and ask myself....wtf how selfish does she not care that I might not be able to eat and go down to the chippy at lunchtime with the boys. So selfish.

I'm sick to death of coming home from my 2 hours at college to find my bed unmade, wet towels on my floor, washing dirty and clean screwed up on my floor and my make up and hair stuff all over the place, dishes and cups with God knows growing on them! I don't even know how they get there!
Ok I might have left the odd cup now and then.
It was my dm's day off yesterday! What does she do? Spend time running round after my little sister!! Oh she tidies her room and clears her dishes while I get nothing as usual!
And on top of that she expects me go to the paupers office to claim free meals and travel! Either that or pay for it myself! She only gives me £20 a week for babysitting while she hangs out at work and I only earn about £60 a week from my job.
She will run my sister to school and pick her up but won't give me a lift to college even though my college is further away!
Think it's clear favouritism!
She's offered to pay for my provisional licence and a block of driving lessons for my birthday! My birthday no presents just that. No car or insurance what's the actual point? Won't even let me have her car. She "needs it" apparently, probably to ferry my sister around everywhere!
God I could go on forever with this one

My other one would be.

My Mum's such a bitch I mean she tidies up the house and washes the pots and hoovers without asking me to help and it pisses me off. I shouted at her for cleaning all the time I mean I never move my pots and leave my shit all over the house but what the fuck does she have to tidy.

Crap grammar sorry, seriously tired!

So I wanted some jam on my scones and didn't want to use the cheap jam she had So like I went into the fridge and l at the back of if I have shoved a jar of jam and did not put the lid back on then told her we had none so she bought nice jam cause the local shop don't sell cheap stuff.

Then last night it looked like she was going to find it so I told her about the cheap jam being mouldy but didn't remove it from fridge when she thought I had so she got more jam.

Fuck her it isn't even mouldy ha.

I've got bags

My mum has old timers or somefink. She always tells me that when I speak wif my friends in England I'm all text speak and slang jargon. That I need to learn to speak English properly. So I tells her that the school has a new exchange program wif a school in the USA, it's only like 15,000 us dollars and I can go and learn Enlgish wif a real English speaking family. She asked me why I fink I need that and told me I would look like a right idiot. Like WTF?! Make your mind up you crazy old bat. Now she says I can't go and like everyone is going. Now all my friends are going to come back and know Enlgish and get good jobs and everyfink and I'm going to be left behind. I told her I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life cleaning shoes and living in the slums and that it's all her fault that I will be an outcast and never learn the language of my peoples

She so triggered

Mine's still only 11 but some of these are already sounding familiar.

We are on holiday & SHE's up tidying the fucking room at this time of the morning!!! It's only like 6:35 back home (2 hours ahead here) it's still technically the middle of the night!!

OH FFS!!! Now she's got the balcony doors open & its fucking freezing cause I decided to sleep in a g-string with my arse hanging out - I bet Kianna & Morgan are still sleeping off their hangovers in Maga without their mums being complete cunts - fuck knows what she's tidying for anyway she does know the hotel has like maids for that shit but keeps banging on about how they're not paid to pick my manky knickers off the floor...

Breakfast time she says... eh I'll get the late breakfast that doesn't finish until 11 so fuck off & give me peace to sleep you old cowbag

OMG!! Like my mum and dad went apeshit just because I disappeared for 3 nights and didn’t tell them where I was going! Like Why would I tell them where I was going when they would just turn up and embarrass me!! They even called the police and then put a campaign on Facebook to find me!! Then my cow bag of a mother rang my school and the school sent home letters with everyone and rang all my friends mums and dads! Kill me now!!!!!
None of the girls told anyone where I was so at least they have some loyalty not like my fucking mum and dad!
Then when the police kicked down the door of a squat and found me with three 19 years old lads taking drugs we were all arrested!! What the hell is that all about?! Just trying to relax and this is what I get!!
My mum completely over reacted and got to the police station hysterical with no make up on and she seriously needed to do her hair she looked a right state!
Was I really being unreasonable for wanting to smoke weed and have a few days break?! They go one mini breaks all the time don’t see me calling the police. Selfish bastards

This was my actual 14 year old niece 3 years ago

And fuck rinsing off shiz from my plate after dinner right? Ain’t that what the dishwasher is for? Wtf do I need to rinse off my peas and shit?

Now she’s bitching cos of blocked drains or summink.

She so triggered. Ain’t no-one got time for this shit. PS4 is Calling

Aibu to think I may need therapy? Last night I saw my mum and dad acting out the final dance from that really old film dirty dancing after getting drunk on gin and lager. Their mates Sharron and Paul were filming it on snap chat.

They clearly don't know what will happen if this gets round school. It will ruin my whole life. What if I brought my mates back? I don't know what to do? Shall I LTBs?

I've been growing several new life forms in my room over the last months. My mother removed them over the weekend. Even worse she put the containers in the dishwasher on a boil wash. Well when I fail A level biology it's def her fault

That should say NOT working part time while at college or uni.

So I was moaning about having to get a bus to school and Mum said that I had to chosen to go there and she'd checked the journey with me but like I'm fed up of it now and it's her fault I chose there.

So she says I will have to get the bus to college and work after I leave school but I said I can't be bothered with college and am going to go straight be being in my job that needs a degree in 30k start right.

She said I won't get into x uni for that course with no gcses cause I ain't doing them cause they've put me in set one and it means I have to put any effort in Ffs. I threw a right shit fit cause she should believe that I can fucking get into uni with no qualifications at all and the bitch doesn't believe I can.

Anyway I'll show her. I told her I don't want to do gcses and I don't want to go to college and if I do go to college and uni I am working in a part time job while I do cause she can pay for me.

Or I can claim benefits and do nothing and not work cause she thinks I will starve but my mates Dad is on benefits and he is fat so clearly she's being dramatic.

See ...my parents are ok, but occasionally get daft ideas, think they read the Daily Mail. Anyway dad says that before he will pay for my expensive specialist training for my dream job I have to get and keep a job for a couple of years. So I get a sales job in a shop. I did my probation period and proved that I am the best they ever had. my opinion so I told the supervisor that when I have my end of probation period review that I expect a substantial pay rise. Dad says that they should know I'm worth it. For some reason she laughed and showed me the company pay scales...25p an hour pay rise...if they agree...OMG ...that is fuckin nuts..I'm worth at least a 3k pay rise and another in a few months after that too. So I demanded a meeting straight away...the manager laughed at me!! How dare she...I told her she needs me...and she laughed again...OMG these people are stupid...no wonder the economy is shit when they won't pay 17 year olds at least 25k in a retail shop job. My dad wasn't happy neither he agrees with me.

True story...very entitled young man

AND she had a go at me for calling her at work when she's busy, it's not like she does anything at work any way, she just sits in an office all day drinking tea

OMG this is sooo my mum

Mine too. I text her when she was at college about the boiler not working. She didn't reply, so I text her again and again and again. Bitch replied 'Dood, am at college. Stop.'

That's it. Just stop. Like, I needed a bath and she's all like, dood, leave me alone. Doesn't she realise your kids are supposed to be the most important thing in the world? Sooo neglectful. Should I call Childline?

Okay peeps I need some help.......i've been in the old hags room borrowing her stuff, it's all shite but needs must.......and I saw some pics of her in her yoof when she 'travelled'.....I know, pretentious or what! Anyhow, some of her old 'lovers' (puke) were actually quite fit.......how the fuck did my old bitch of a mother ever get with fit blokes??? I mean she must be nearly 80 now (48)......I'm actually traumatised.............