Because of my shyness I came out of a chip shop with a portion of fish...

I once accepted five BAGS of bananas on my online food delivery costing £7 odd, realising I had clicked the wrong item, I should have ordered five individual bananas!

I've done most of these. Although the cherries dp took back for a refund (which he will not let go but it was our last £8). Worst ever was when I was playing with the kids in the garden ndn said hi over the fence, exchanged small talk, I couldn't really hear her and after the first three "sorry what was that?" I gave a tinkly laugh, that's nice come on kids lunch. Wasn't until DS said "mummy whats a funeral?" I realised, I hadn't seen her husband for a while. She was telling me he'd died and she was organising the funeral. I LAUGHED. Still feel awful and try to pay more attention

"Walk it off" - yes, that's what they said to me too, Everything

That did cross my mind afterwards, Margaret. I don't know what came over me, but I was much younger and less assertive then.

The nurse said, "Oh, I remember you! Yes, I do! You're the lady with the lisp!"

That would really have not been ok if you were the lady with the lisp!

Oh! You just reminded me of one, Fair , altho this is more my stupidity than anything else. I was pratting about with my new boyfriend (at the time) and the horses and decided to vault onto the back of one. Now I've done that countless times, he's barely reacted. Not that day. He bucked and caught me off guard and I landed hard on my side, foot bent under me. Looked down and I could see the sole of my boot. Ouch. Laughed and got up, boyfriend looked worried but laughed when I did. Walked back into the house... my boot had to be cut off, along with my jodhpurs, because my ankle was broken and it had swollen to fuck because I'd been a twat and tried to'walk it off' 😂
He's never let me forget that one

My mum fell in an aerobics class and carried on the rest of the session with a broken arm as she didn't want a fuss.

I once got a park and ride bus back from a strange town.

It started driving through the huge car park I had parked in and I just assumed it would stop as it had on the way out. No, it carried on and ended up at a university campus about a mile away. Then the driver turned it off and got out and sparked up a cigarette, obviously on his break

I was so (inexplicably) embarrassed that I pretended to be asleep and he "woke me up" and I acted all amazed and disoriented. And had to walk back to the car park in painful shoes with heavy bags.

Oh God, this one is worse.

Aged 12, on a school skiing trip. I fell badly and my (broken) leg was agonising, but I didn't want to make a fuss, so I said "ow... ow..." in a low-key sort of way. As a result, the teachers thought I'd just jarred my leg, and encouraged me to get up and see if I could put my full weight on it.

I went into shock and had to be blue-lighted to hospital in Geneva.

Went to a clinic to have an injection. The nurse said, "Oh, I remember you! Yes, I do! You're the lady with the lisp!"

"Er... yeth", I said (and continued in a similar vein for the rest of the appointment).

I don't have a lisp. But she seemed so pleased and I didn't want her to feel disappointed

I once went for a one of those job interviews that involve loads of different tasks and take all day. I only went for the experience, I loved my part time casual job and wasn't ready for this much more intense role at a really quite intimidating place.

Of course I bloody got the job and was too embarrassed to admit that I didn't want it!

I was there for 2 fucking years and hated every minute of it.

Madness

Oh my god these are really amazing 😂😂😂 I'm a hard nosed cow so don't exactly think I can contribute too well, other than that the reason I drink tea now is because I was made it in my first job, hated it, had to drink it and so on. Got used to it in the end and never said a word.

The chaplain at the university I work at is convinced that I am my boss. I've never had the heart to correct him. Every time we pass, he solemnly greets me by her name and has been known to congratulate me for an event my department ran.
Luckily, he doesn't work with my department at all, but he's clearly been told that the lady in charge is short and dark-haired, and picked the wrong short and dark haired one!
My boss does know, and thinks it's all quite amusing.

In the course of my work I sometimes encounter well known people but I hate that feeling of 'you know who they are but they don't know you' so I either blank them or talk to them but pretend I have no idea who they are whilst inwardly cringing. I could never ever ask for a photo or anything.

On my first day in a new job in a big office, one of my colleagues took me to the canteen at lunchtime. We got our food, then he walked ahead of me and took the last seat at a table. Nowhere for me to sit, so I went and sat at the next table, introduced myself to the people there, and then sat there eating my lunch while they completely ignored me. They weren't even from the same company, just in the building. It was really awkward.

I watched this clip on today and it reminded me of this thread 😂😂

Someone at work once asked me how I took my coffee. Instead of simply saying 'black' (heaven knows why) I said "with nothing in". For 2 years while we worked together, every time she did the tea round she kindly presented me with a mug of hot water. Which I dutifully drank.

In holiday in France, Trying to practice my rusty French, i ordered 4 kilos of prawns instead of a quarter of a kilo....we were still eating them at the end of a week's holiday
I like prawns but not that much!

I'm a football fan, a season-ticket holder at my local team, the 'Black & whites'. DP's colleague is also a football fan, but he supports our hated local rivals 'the Reds'.

The first time I met this guy he somehow got the wrong end of the stick and thought I was a fellow Reds fan. He seemed like a nice guy, so I didn't correct him because I didn't want to embarrass him. Eleven years later, he still thinks I support the bloody Reds and he wants to talk football every time our paths cross and I still haven't corrected him because I would look like a mad woman if I did after all these years....

You lot need to all start practising in the mirror:

"How much?"
"I've changed my mind"
"My name is Rachel. RACHEL!"
"You're having a laugh!"
"Fuck me ive gone down the wrong street again"
No thanks.
Oops my mistake - no!
No
NO!
No!

Bless you all.

I've only read to page 7, and was smugly enjoying the stories and thinking to myself how happy I am that I've conquered a lot of these, and then recalled that I've done this recently. Last Pride, I was in London, in a part of the office I don't go to regularly. The woman running that room is always v friendly and we usually chat. On this day before Pride I walk in and she went on about the big weekend plans and was I doing my usual such and such that clearly implied she thought I was gay, only I didn't hear her clearly so I smiled and nodded a bit until I realised her mistake. I'm not gay and stupidly thought it would embarrass her if I corrected her. THEN she realised her mistake and looked at me in such an odd way as of to say "why are you pretending to be something you're not". That was embarrassing.

@MysticTed good work 😂😂😂😂😂

Ah Jake and Peach you poor things.

I remember at primary school opening my lunchbox and crying because my mum hadn't boiled my egg properly and my whole lunch was covered in an eggy mess where it had got shaken about in my bag.

The dinner ladies assumed I'd been sick and bustled me off to the sick room, left me with a bucket and called my mum to collect me.

I once worked somewhere for a full year and never used the toilet as I hadn't been shown where it was and didn't want to ask (female teacher in all boys school with mostly male staff).
I also ate meat after 20 years vegetarian because someone had cooked it for me, not realising, and I didn't want to be rude.