Because of my shyness I came out of a chip shop with a portion of fish...

God yes Metallic I feel that I have to keep moving rooms to avoid making eye contact with the window cleaner, casually exiting the room each time his head appears.

If I am unlucky enough to be on a day off when the window cleaner comes I have the excruciating dilemma of 'they're right there but haven't looked at me, do I stare until he looks and then acknowledge him or do I stare at the tv, book, wall and pretend that this isn't happening? Please please please hurry up.'

If I clock him at the neighbours house first, I have been known to hide on the stairs (no windows) so I don't have to experience the above.

Homemade sanitary towels . That's the sort of thing I'd do in a shop, then cringe for days afterwards cos.

I moved to my village 6 years ago and new no one.
I went to the local shop for sanitary towels but they didn't have any, apparently they were waiting on a delivery. I was embarrassed about leaving empty handed so I lifted random items and said "I'll just take these instead then "
On the walk home I was wondering why the woman at the counter looked at me funny. Then I got home and saw what I bought. A bag of cotton wool and cellotape. 😐
She obviously thought I was going to just make my own sanitary towels like a weirdo! 🤣🤣🤣

I spent an entire year living with my the MIL saying "excuse me" because I was 18 and I for some reason had this idea that using her first name was rude!

Drinks machines I'm fine with, but it's the toasters in different hotels. Like you're meant to be psychic as to whether it's one you just throw bread into, or one you need to press a random button on. I was delighted at the last hotel I stayed in where they had the exact same one as I have at home instead of the ones where your bread seems to end up on a conveyor belt and I may have made off with other people's toast on more than one occasion when it's one of those.

A friend of mine (this genuinely wasn't me!) got together with her boyfriend when she was 15 and he was 17. They got engaged a few years later, and married a couple of years after that.

Lovely.

But about four months before the wedding they had a serious chat about stuff and realised that neither of them wanted to get married - in fact the relationship felt more like brother and sister and they no longer wanted to be together. Very happy mutual decision. Except they didn't want to disappoint everyone and so much money and time had been spent on the wedding.

So they got married and lived as friends until they felt enough time had passed to instigate divorce proceedings.

Ooh I just thought of one. My then bf had invited me home to meet his parents. His mum had asked him if I didn't eat anything to which he replied "oh she is a real foodie, she loves everything". Neglecting to tell her that I retch at cooked fruit.

Arrived, trying to make a good impression when she brings a huge, home picked, home cooked apple and plum pie to the table. He pipes up "oh wait, Willowy doesn't like cooked fruit" and I laughed a tinkly laugh and said "oh don't be silly. I love it!"

19 years later she makes one every time we go for dinner (1 or 2 a month). Damnit. I just eat the crumble, mush up the fruit with some custard and hide it under my spoon😕

Oh god, I'm reading this thread and thinking I've NEVER tipped my hairdressser, and he's really bloody good! Is tipping hairdressers a thing?!

I also drove back home oop north from Bristol last year. Very busy on the motorway and I was crawling in the wrong lane. I needed to get off at the next exit, but because I was driving a BMW and was scared of being judged for being an impatient asshole, instead of indicating and waiting to be let in, I drove all the way down.... to the fucking M6 toll road.

I then paid to drive down the toll road, and paid again to drive back down it to get back on the right motorway

Oh this is me, I could think of loads. A couple of days into my new job someone turned up with these really sweet sticky cakes from the bakery down the road and two years later I still pretend I like them.

But better than that when I met my boyfriend's mother there was a misunderstanding about how l drink my tea and she still makes it extra strong with just a tiny splash of milk (I actually like it quite milky) 27 years later. For years I felt too silly to correct her and now she doesn't listen anyway.

If you only paid for a cone of chips and you got a bloody great piece of cod, then ''winner winner.....er... fish dinner''. Bargain. Fish is brain food anyway, so maybe it will develop the ''outspoken'' part of the brain.

alabasterangel just read down to your post! You are not alone!

Once ate a full slice of butter thinking it was cheese. Tried to brazen it out but all my cousins saw me and knew it was butter. It was horrendous. It was my mum and step dads wedding reception
I've never lived it down. Even now, 20 odd years later it's still mentioned when they all get together.

....Excuse me please

Can I please ((((HUG)))) everyone on this thread please

I have found my meek people meeple

Thanks sorry sorry

I can't have a cleaner even though my house desperately needs one, because the whole 'employing someone else to scrub my toilets' is just the most excruciatingly awful concept. I did have one for a while but we used to dash around the house cleaning like lunatics before she came, so she didn't see how messy we were. The whole thing was just too stressful.

Whilst on holiday in the Netherlands last year, my friend wanted to look around a mining museum, we paid our entrance fee and then found out it was a guided tour , all in Dutch. We looked attentively at the guide, chortled when everyone else did and tried to sneak off after about an hour, only to be yanked back and put in front of a DVD where we watched two films, all in Dutch. I think a few of the Germans in the party guessed our secret, but didn't let on

18 years ago I dated someone for 4 months without knowing his surname.

I think he presumed I knew and after a couple of weeks it seemed rude to ask

Our school used to provide a bus to those of us who lived in the next town. They were those big 80s/90s coaches. My stop was one of the last on the route. For some reason on this particular day, everybody else had got off the bus before it got to my stop.
I was tiny back then, 11 years old and very timid. The driver obviously didn't spot me and carried on past my stop and I assume was heading to the depot. I was mortified, I eventually made myself stand up and get his attention. His face
He was so so lovely and apologetic and turned the coach around and dropped me at my front door.

Years ago, my husband, his brother, and I all worked in the same organisation - different departments.
I was waiting in the corridor waiting to go into a meeting when bil's manager approached me and started chatting, saying "oh you're bil's wife aren't you?" I just sat there and grinned. I don't know why!! To add to the torture he stayed and chatted for a while, he then asked me had I seen bil as he was around the department etc etc. I prayed he wouldn't come around the corner.

Bil has never mentioned it, I've never mentioned it, my husband likes to remind me of it. 😂😂

Oh I so need to open a mega expensive cherry shop,
Aside from that, I stuck a job for 5 months, I hated it even at the interview stage. I knew I wouldn't like it but was offered and kind of bullied into taking it. Because the agency would make money. Sigh never again.
Even to this day I get called the wrong name. It's not a usual name but it is easy to say. But I get a different version despite me telling these people several times now, so I just nod these days and smile. Think like Dani, they call me danieta
I too get a fake text when going the wrong direction, I look at the "text" sigh loudly mutter 'kids' and about turn.
I have bought stuff I really didn't want just to save face, I got conned into a reading, the spiritual kind, once, cost £20 I didn't have and I don't believe in that crap.
Thank god for age, you realise everyone is caught up in Their own stuff and really doesn't care.

When I was 17 in Ibiza I ordered a pitcher of woowoo and they gave me a pitcher of wine. Bad enough but it cost like €80 which was my whole budget per night. Obviously I just paid and took my wine.

Also my first dentist appointment I went without my mum and he asked about my pets, I said I have a snake. He said how big, I said 4m (I meant 4ft), he went on about how massive that was for the rest of the appointment and I just couldn't tell him I made a mistake and meant foot.

Ohmygoodness !

I am exactly like this ! I didn't know they were people like me ! I thought I was the only one...: didn't know it was a shyness trait.

I was sitting down on the bus, on my way home, I stood up to stretch my legs but a woman mistakenly thought my seat was vacant and sat down on it. I looked at her and she noticed me and said "oooh.... was you sitting down here ?"... I replied "Nah, I'm getting off the next stop". I then proceeded to get off the next stop ( even though my stop is 6 bus stops away ! But I didn't want to look like a fool so walked all the way home).

OMG itsgood same thing happened to me in M and S thought the cherries were reduced and at the till she said something like the cherries are £12 is that okay? and I feel peoples eyes on me so I said airily Oh yes the children love them!
and seethed all day.

I’ve read through all of these thread and agreed with most of them! Especially the not using drinks machines, I still feel awful that I didn’t get my mum a cup of tea when she was in hospital as the machine was too complicated to use :( (I text my DH to come earlier so he could get one for her instead)

@houghtonk76 Labyrinth, Short Circuit and Money Pit are some of my favourite films!

I went to a Family Planning Clinic in Singapore a good few years ago for condoms, because of the accent I misheard the cost and ended up with a gross (144) I was very young and too embarrassed to say anything.

when i was on a field trip with school (30+yrs ago) 'up north' we had an afternoon to research 'living in village'. We (6 of us) knocked on a door and were greeted by a nice lady who invited us all into her house to talk to us. I couldn't believe she'd let a bunch of strangers in!!!
She made us all a coffee. I hated coffee but was too polite to say, so had to force this drink down.....there was a milk available in a jug and I kept topping my mug up with milk to dilute the coffee. This worked to dilute the coffee taste, however shortly after leaving the house I was desperate for the loo and we didn't find one for some time!! I can still feel the discomfort. I was literally bursting!