Because of my shyness I came out of a chip shop with a portion of fish...

Every time I go to the hairdresser,when they lie you back in that chair to wash your hair and ask 'are you comfortable?' I say yes even though I'm in bloody agony resting my neck on that horrible ceramic neck holder cause I'm too shy to complain!

I've ordered a large pizza for myself many times , and every time the delivery man comes , I always shout into my empty house

" babe , pizzas here ! "

They must know.

I once waited for a taxi driver to leave after he had helped me to the door with my bags, pretending I was trying to find my keys in my handbag, so I could then carry all my bags of shopping off my neighbour's doorstep and into my own house. I had told him the house number and told him which house it was as he turned into the cul-de-sac. He went for a house three doors away instead.

Also had a taxi take me to the wrong street, that time I had to walk a good 5 minutes with heavy bags (not easy with my back problems). Wasn't even a similar street name (but it was the next street over from mine).

It was the same driver both times, a good couple of years apart though and I had moved in that time. I avoid using that company unless absolutely necessary now, just in case I ever get him again.

Some of these are making me feel very sad in sympathy but at the same time They are hilarious.

Oldlaund I use the language barrier excuse all the time. Sometimes it is the language which is an issue. But sometimes I'm pretending because it's exactly the same situation I'd have in English too.

Bear in mind I live abroad where English isn't the first language.

I've ordered loads of stuff that's been wrong. Got black coffee when I wanted milk etc. White toast when I thought I asked for brown malarkey. Luckily managed to have two cesareans without ordering the wrong thing!

I recently ordered 500 grams sliced salami but only wanted 50 grams - the woman behind the counter was slicing like a maniac before I realised and said No, only 50 grams, not 500!'

I made out it was her fault

When I was younger my Grandma had had a slight prang in her yellow car so we took it to the garage to get it fixed. For some unknown reason she sent me into the workshop (full of men) to choose the right colour paint. I chose the colour and the chap in there asked if I was really sure it was the right shade. I realised it wasn't right but was too embarrassed to choose again so just said yes and ran out. The big darker patch on the front wing was never referred to and served as a permenant reminder of my feebleness

I had a breakthrough recently!

Had a day to myself before driving to a hen weekend and though I would treat myself to a blow dry. I phoned my usual hairdresser who couldn't fit me in but I knew they had a second salon a few miles away so gave them a call. They had space for me so I drove to the next town and sat down to wait for my appointment. The receptionist asked me if i wanted a special conditioning treatment too. I asked how much it was. She said it was £10 so it would £40 all together. At the sister salon I pay £25 for a toner and blow dry so was a bit taken aback that the prices at this brach were so much higher and asked if they had booked me in for something more than a simple blow dry. I was told that at this branch they charge city centre prices (despite being 9 miles away from the city centre). I sat back down silently seething for a few minutes knowing I would be so pissed at myself for the rest of the day so I picked up my bag and said to the receptionist that I wasn't willing to pay the price they wanted, i apologised for assuming their prices would be the same at both salons and walked out.

Me and my shit frizzy hair smiled all the way home.

Went on a date with an autistic guy who started volunteering at the same charity shop as me. Thought we were just meeting as friends for coffee but then I realised otherwise and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so sat and let him talk about globalisation, NASA and the abolishion of slavery. I'm a lesbian

The price on the gorgeous looking wheel of Parmesan was per 100g, not per kilo. A transparent sliver of the stuff cost me £6.

I sat through a media studies (or sociology or something, they were showing clips of advertisements so I'm guessing) lecture at university, rather than get up and walk out. I even pretended to make notes!

Went to Lush to buy a bath bomb. The assistant came over to me and asked me if I needed any help. Instead of saying I wanted a bath bomb I found myself saying that I couldn't remember if my friend owned a bath (to this day I don't know how I ended up saying that).
Anyway, the assistant kept asking me about my "friend", why I was buying her a present, what scents she liked and disliked and so on. I was so flustered and panicked that I - completely illogically - had a moment of worry that if I mentioned the smells I myself liked then the shop assistant would know I was really getting something for myself - even though of course she wouldn't be able to tell! I decided on the spot that my friend really liked lemon - I'm actually not too keen on it - and instead of leaving the shop with a nice relaxing bath bomb, off I scuttled red-faced having bought what I can only describe as a jelly, and some soap shaped like a business card, both scented with -fecking- lemon

Dear god, people. This breaks my heart and makes me madder than a wet hen. You are being taken advantage of at every opportunity because you can't speak up. I get it. I know it is crippling - watched a loved one suffer terribly from shyness. However, there are some tricks that can be learned that will really help. One or two small steps can be taken to make your life so much better. I know saying to Google it is glib; you've probably researched it ad infinitum, but still. to those suffering. Please know I am not making light of it!

Ministerformagic get your smear test done! They always use plenty of lube. No excuses! Seriously. xx

You're all mad but very funny Wracking my brains for similar, I know I must have done some of these but it's been a while. The menopause brought assertiveness along with the hot sweats.

God I thought I was bad but you lot are terrible!
I'm far better now since having a child and therefore no time to piss about! I went to our local hippy organic shop to buy one (1) courgette and it came up at the till as £1.20. I was v embarrassed but did actually say 'sorry, I can't afford that' and walked out sheepishly straight into the corporate supermarket opposite

I haven't had a smear for several years because it's was 2013 when I last had sex and I'm too embarrassed to explain that it will hurt and please can I have lubrication/more lubrication/a smaller speculum.

Yes I know I'm an idiot, but I just can't face it.

At a market in France years agou pointed out how big a piece of cheese I wanted (it wasn't that big a chunk honest). It cost 32 euros and I was too embarrassed to hand it back and say no thanks.

I got into the wrong lane in a complicated city centre and ended up at a barrier to go into a multistorey car park. I was too embarrassed to back out and try to turn around, so I took a ticket, drove into the car park and straight round to the exit. Exit barrier took my ticket and demanded €3 just for the privilege of having been in there for all of 30 seconds! I felt so stupid.

AlexaAmbidextra I came home with a £60 leather case for my new iPhone, that I was persuaded into buying in the giddy excitement of the new phone. Couldn't believe I'd spent all that on a bloody phone case so actually drove the 60 mile round trip back into the city the following week and took it back. They're not daft those sales assistants. Apparently it would protect my phone so much more than any ordinary case.

I spent £16.00 on cakes at a fate. I presumed as it was only a fate the cakes would have been about 30p each. I bought about 6. When she asked for £16.00 I just dutifully handed it over! I I couldn't believe it!

I often look at the price tags in shops, realise it's too expensive but pretend to be make my mind up for a bit by touching the fabric and lifting it up so I don't look cheap

I know two people in rl who've done the cherries thing!

I'm now feeling like the most assertive person on Earth because I once told the checkout assistant to keep the £6 cherries. That was 20 years ago and I was a student, so £6 was a lot for a bag of cherries.