Awkward moments caused entirely due to that British politeness embarrassment thing

Oh God this thread is great.

About a year after I had DS I developed quite a sticky out lower belly possibly because I'd been happily reconnecting with the wine bottle after finally giving up breastfeeding.

I was buying some jewellery from a woman at a stall in a craft fair when she asked me "so when's it due? You'll have your hands full!" indicating young DS.

To save her embarrassment and because we were in the middle of a transaction I mumbled "5 months".

I'm pretty sure she must have known by the shade of beetroot my burning face went but she carried on the pretence too till the transaction finished.

lonestar. 🤣

When I was in my 20s (many moons ago!) a friend and I had arranged to meet up in our local wine bar, which we frequented on a regular basis, for an after work drink. It was early evening so was virtually empty when I arrived. I sat down at a table (it was table service only) and looked at the wine list, then looked up at the bar staff to indicate I was ready to order. They were all standing around in a gaggle at the bar having a good old chit chat - they were aware I was there, but seemed determined to ignore me. So I went through the rigmarole of looking at the wine list and then looking in their direction for service again. Still they ignored me - although they did go to serve other customers who were arriving. This carried on for about 15-20 minutes until friend arrived, full of apologies for being a bit late. She expressed surprise that I hadn't ordered a bottle of wine and two glasses and all I could say, rather plaintively, was that nobody had come to serve me. Of course, as soon as she joined me one of the staff sped over to our table to take our order. Pathetically, and rather Britishly, I didn't say anything about having to sit there for over quarter of an hour waiting to be served.

I went to a funeral I had no intention of going to.

I was pulling off my drive when a hearse passed slowly by and I remembered an elderly man who lived at the end of the road had died. I didn't know him but other neighbours who had lived there longer did.

Anyway other neighbours were obviously following said hearse after the family cars and somberley waved me off my drive.

I was now in the funeral chain and couldn't think of any way to turn off and go to town so ended up at the cremation for his last fair well.

I did make my excuses not to attend the wake at his sons house and made my way shopping eventually.

Some of these have had me laughing out loud. Loved the imaginary children one

I once found a cheap off-licence and decided to spoil my husband with his favourite brand of vodka. I drink wine normally so assumed a case would be six bottles and ordered a case. At the check-out the price was quoted as double what I thought and I was too embarrassed to admit I got it wrong, so handed over the money and walked out with 12 bottles of vodka.

I told my husband that the only appropriate response from him is 'thank you' and to never mention it again. We could barely afford to eat that month but could have a drink anytime

I am not English but did spend 7 years in Liverpool and I think it rubbed off on me...

When i was 18 i went with my friend to a lads house that she knew he was their with friends. We got drunk i went home next day went to work and when i finished this lad from night before was standing their. I had forgotten he had asked me to meet him the night before. I did not like him but instead of just making a excuse i went with him to his grandparents and was introduced to his grandparents and siblings as hid new girlfriend! Then he insisted on seeing me home. So we get train he has his arm round me and a older woman starts talking saying oh to be young and in love and he starts chatting away to her about how im his new girlfriend and how much he likes me. I am just cringing so bad and just thinking why am i doing this , just say something! I get off at train quickly say bye and rush home. It was so akward and i still dont know why i just didnt tell him when he was outside my work.

I choked down liver curry at a neighbour's house. I'm not a fussy eater but I do hate liver and it was esp horrible. Who would even think to make such a thing?? Anyway, English politeness kicked in and I nibbled away heroically.

The next time we got together they made it again 'because everyone enjoyed it so much last time'

The furrowed brow at the babies aged 12 and 18 months got me silently giggling so much I woke the baby sleeping on me

Dh and I when we first got together went on holiday to Spain We visited the Royal Palace in Madrid and also went for a walk in the gardens. Dh decided we were in a secluded spot and it would be a nice place to dtd. So I got on top. I wasn't that eager btw but I just thought I'd be best to go with the flow - being British and all. Anyway just as we'd finished, a security guard arrived. Though I suspect he had spotted us a while back . I picked up my shoes and ran and hid. Dh thought it was hilarious as he swaggered in my direction. He's French. This happened more or less 25 years ago to the day.

People constantly mispronounce my (Welsh) name and I have terrible trouble correcting them. I can't even explain why I find it so embarrassing. On the odd occasion I have called someone by the wrong name and been put right I haven't died of mortification, I've been grateful to have been corrected - so why can't I do it back? A very casual aquaintance I bump into only a couple of times a year has been calling me an entirely different name for years; one of these days she will find out and I will look like a lunatic. It's just ridiculous.

Mine was at a very young age - I had just started school, so not much over 5 years old. In assembly they used to hold up the lost property for pupils to claim. One particular day they held up a doll. No one claimed it. I stuck up my hand intending to say maybe a younger sibling had dropped it, but the HeadTeacher jumped in with 'Oh, it's yours MrsOlly. Here you go.....' Too embarrassed to admit the mis understanding I mumbled my thanks and took the doll. On the way home I shared a car with my cousin and neighbour who were all interested in the doll and how I'd lost it. I was mortified but played along. However, the worst was yet to come as when my Mum heard the story she (rightly) insisted I take the doll back and explain that it wasn't mine. 40 odd years later it still makes me cringe.....

Heavily pregnant and DNiece came to stay overnight. She decided to have a bath at 7am, which was my time for my morning toilet visit (downstairs bathroom which was accessed via kitchen). Rather than ask her to get out of the bath at that ridiculous time, I did a pee in a pint glass in our soon be nursery but it was more than a pint, and leaked onto carpet. Had to clear that up. I coudn't bring it downstairs as she and DP were by then having breakfast in the kitchen so threw it out of the window.

I'm completely English but if someone gets my name wrong I tell them!! I also complain in restaurants which my DH hates. He had the wrong coffee today and it was cold but he wouldn't let me say anything!

I'm Irish and very sick with this disease if I seen someone I know from far away like an acquaintance I'd literally go out of my way to avoid them. even though I like them. so awkward.

even my own boss and Co workers..I get the bus from a different side of town to avoid standing outside their shop and having to chat.

oh yes the supermarket one is the worst!! if you bump into.someone you know.and have small talk... get outta there immediately so you don't bump into them again cause oh how awful that would be and the world would end right literally thought it was just me being a weirdo with all this

GameOldBirdz I do the EXACT same thing! There's also a garage I frequent that always offers the special VAT receipts. I have no need for them at all and yet I have a purse full.

I have a Parking AND Politeness one...

The other day I was on my driveway having just pulled in and was having little think before going into the house. A lady then pulled in over my driveway, she was waiting to pick up her friend from over the road (they don't have drives)

I opened the car door and the driver waved very apologetically and started scrabbling around for her keys, clearly thinking I was waiting to leave and getting out to ask her to move.

I was too embarrassed to say "It's ok, take your time I was just randomly sitting on my driveway not going anywhere" so I waited, let her search getting increasingly frantic then eventually helped her look for her keys the whole time accepting her apologies. They had slid down under the mat.

She then moved her car and I felt obliged to actually go somewhere. So I pulled away and was going to go down to the roundabout and turn and come back when I realised she was following me with her friend who'd arrived. I then had to appear as though I was actually going to a real place and ended up on the single A road out of town, with them following me, with nowhere except farm track for a few miles to turn around in. I pulled into a garden centre where they of course pulled in. We then had such a laugh about the coincidence of both going to the same place...

I came home with a bag of gravel and a shrub that I only peripherally needed, two hours later than I'd planned.

Now that neighbour over the road knows that I'm "getting into gardening" she is coming over this week with some cuttings for me

Disclaimer: I am Scottish, and as such the the chats with random people, acquaintances and their pets are not something I feel the need to or can avoid!

I was referred to as Louise by a teacher in my secondary school. She had previously taught me English for a year so really should have known my name wasn't Louise, but there you go!
In my defence, she was trying to get my attention from the other side of the library and was getting cross that I was apparently ignoring her. I was too scared to respond sensibly when she barked "Don't you know your own name?" really loudly at me.
One of my friends asked me why she called me Louise. I had no idea.

DH once waited over an hour for dessert in a restaurant. I was rather un British about it and wanted to get up and just leave. Especially as the waitress acted as if we were an inconvenience for asking what was going on.
Dh just kept muttering that he wanted his pudding.

I'm always doing this stuff, probably the most torturous one was when I saw an advert for a tandem in the local co-op. I'd wanted to buy a tandem for me and my then partner to ride for aaaages and this was really cheap so I phoned up, made an appt and turned up to the address they gave me. Was utterly baffled when the couple AND their two kids brought me into the very empty living room and brought in a smart looking kids double buggy thing in a sort of 'ta-da!' way, assuring me how carefully they had treated it, how clean it was, what a great help it had been to them with kids so close together etc. Reality dawned on me as they looked at my confused face and started asking me curiously if it was for my own kids. I had none & knew nothing about babies or toddlers in anywhere near enough detail for the situation. On the other hand I was new to the area, hadn't started my job yet so was worrying I might turn up to find their (older) kids sat in my classroom on day one and they looked skint as fuck and were obviously really pleased that I had come as a potential buyer for this thing. I was scared to let them down so I told them it was a GREAT buggy, just PERFECT and I desperately made up a 'friend' who had two young kids but couldn't get out of the house that day so had sent me to check it out for her, they asked me how old the kids were because 'look, we are selling some other stuff she might like' (cue more ta-da moments) and in a panic now I said something ridiculous like 12 months and 18months which drew some furrowed brows. I was sweating like a maniac as I had to invent more and more answers to their increasingly suspicious questions, no my imaginary friend couldn't come back tomorrow to view it because she couldn't drive, now she also had a crappy husband who was funny about her meeting strangers and she wasn't allowed to come out, one of the kids had chicken pox etc etc. I conspicuously studied every aspect of the bloody thing and wrote notes down and promised them I would go see my 'friend' straight away so she could call them to reserve it. It took me aboit twenty minutes to escape by which time I think they were starting to be quite worried about my sanity and probably thought I was scoping out their belongings for a burglary or something.

So no, thankfully I didn't go so far as to buy the fecking thing. Still feel guilty and very very stupid thoigh.

When me and my husband were trying to get pregnant we went into a pram shop just for a look. Anyway we were approached by assistant who started asking loads of questions of what we were looking for. So i obliged and described the pram i would like. Next question was when my due date was. Rather than admit i wasn't actually pregnant yet i named a date that a woman at my work was due on! Husbands face was a picture

Needless to say when I actually did fall pregnant a year later I was to embarrassed to go back there to buy my pram

These stories are utterly bizarre and I say this as an Irish person who gets themselves into more awkward situations than most people I know.

I'd never tell a hairdresser that I hate my hair but I would 'annoy' anyone if I needed a pee and they were in my way.

My fave story is the car-bus-stop one. Poor wee terrified old man. Bonkers English people.

Ginmakesitallok

Omg that's so something I would do!

My dds first trip to local shops without me. Eagerly awaited their return.

Me "did you meet anyone you knew?"
Dd1 "well we saw x" (nice school mum both dds know)
Me "did you say hello"
Dd1 "no we hid behind a van"

Social skills a work in progress...