Awkward moments caused entirely due to that British politeness embarrassment thing

Argh some of these are real fist biters
I go along with whatever people want to call me because my name can be pronounced various ways and I don't want to seem rude or difficult by correcting anyone. If I'm at a Starbucks out of town, I will give 'Becky' as my name rather than be asked how to spell my own.
When I was a bit younger, I was walking home and a car slowed alongside me, then looked like it was pulling up, for some reason I thought the driver must have wanted my attention for directions or whatever as the window was down. I walked over and realised this wasn't the case, just as the driver noticed. But I had already committed so carried on to the door. The driver exclaimed 'oh! Sorry! I didn't want you, I'm just setting my sat nav!'
I was so shamed but I tried to style it out, 'oh I know! I was just coming to ask for the time, what time is it please?' Then walked off pretending to casually check my phone to give off extra 'I haven't just shown myself up' nonchalant vibes.

lemmein I once got asked if Mum or Dad were in by someone at the door (aged 35!). Rather than just say no because I left home 18 years ago I pretended they were out. He said okay I'll nip round later then - leaving me unable to answer my own door for about two months just in case it was him again.

I was directing a taxi to my house.

I hadn't got a taxi from that particular starting point before and got my lefts and rights muddled up. This was pre Sat nav.

Rather than admitting my mistake I carried on giving random directions and got the taxi to drop me off outside a random house and walked the two miles back to my own house.

Also, I used to call in to a pub on my way home for a drink on a Friday. Got chatting to the landlord, he asked my name. He obviously misheard me and thought I was called eg Zara instead of Lara.

I didn't correct him. It went on so long that it would be embarrassing to correct him, so he still thinks my name is Zara. I even had a loyalty card with Zara on it.

Even worse, some of the regulars think I'm called Zara now.

I dread bumping in to any of them in public and have stopped going in, in the hope that it will never be discovered that I'm not Zara after all.

Once I answered the phone and the caller asked if my 'mummy was home'. Rather than just say 'err I AM the mum!' I instead pretended to go and get her then put on a deeper voice for the rest of the conversation

Driving to work one morning I spotted a friend waiting at the bus stop. I knew he worked near me, and it was raining, so pulled in to the bus stop and shouted for him to come over. He tentatively approached the car and leaned in the window, at which point I realised it wasn't my friend.

In the meantime the bus had driven past because he hadn't flagged it down. So I awkwardly explained my mistake and then offered to drive this complete stranger anyway, because I was so embarrassed about making him miss his bus, even though he could have been an axe murderer!

Turned out he was the brother of my friend (who I'd never met), hence the resemblance. I felt a bit safer then, but still ended up making a massive detour because he worked nowhere near me.

Many years ago I'm pushing an 18-month old in a pushchair along a residential street in Marseille. An old dear comes up to us and starts cooing over the little one (in French) and looks at his very blue eyes and then at my own very brown ones and says "Il a les yeux de Papa".... I just smiled and agreed that he did indeed have his daddy's eyes rather than attempt to explain that I was just the English au pair.

A colleague has been calling me by the wrong name now for a couple of years, I just go with it.

DH's wisdom teeth were coming through so we went to buy teething gel. Lovely shop assistant started giving us lots of tips on how to help our baby with teething. We went along with it rather than admit we didn't have a baby and it was for DH.

I have a fairly uncommon name. As in it's not so unusual that people haven't heard it before, it just isn't used commonly in the UK.

I work in a busy office and some people always get my name wrong and call me another name starting with the same letter. Think Donna instead of Danny for example. I have corrected them before but feel too awkward to correct them all the time. Which has resulted in some people have called me the wrong name now for years.

A while ago I was called by the incorrect name and another colleague was all 'That's not her name, she's called [insert name]'
The other person was all 'I've been calling her that for years'
I ended up all trying to explain it all!

Oh and then there was the 'bin' incident.

Bin night, 1am and there is a crash. Dh leaps to the window to see teens running off and our recycling bin on its side, contents strewn across NDN's lawn.
I can't leave it so I get up, put my dressing gown on and start to collect the rubbish. As I'm refilling the bin I'm thinking "I don't remember buying that".

Wasn't my bin, that was still stood at the end of my drive. Meanwhile I'm rummaging through next doors rubbish and they are actually watching me through the window. I dropped the tin I was holding back on their lawn, gave a little wave and scuttled off back to the house.

They moved shortly after

DH drove me down to the sorting office to collect a parcel and parked outside. I collected my parcel, walked out of the building, across the road and got in the car. DH said nothing as I closed the door and belted up. He didn't start the engine either.

That was when I looked at him and found I was actually looking at a complete stranger, who was sitting very still and looking straight ahead. I undid the seat belt and got out of the car. Not a word was spoken.

DH was actually sitting in the car behind - same make and model. It was about a week before he stopped laughing.

I was very early for a long train ride in America recently - I had a first class/sleeper ticket which allowed me entry into a special waiting room with drinks and snacks. The ticket was very expensive.

I asked if I was allowed in to wait (because I was so early) and the man checking tickets said yes and directed me into the regular waiting room, which was really busy.
So I sat there for a bit and then went to explain about my ticket and ask if I could go to the special waiting room - he kind of sneered at me and said 'oh you want somewhere special to wait for your train?' and instead of asking for the waiting room by it's name, i got all embarrassed and thought he must think I'm terribly rude not to like the waiting room and said that it was fine and I just didn't want to get in anyone's way, then I slunk off and sat down.

I'm still so cross with myself! Why didn't I just ask for directions to the first class lounge? Aaargh!

Just now a woman plugged her phone into the airport charging socket. I looked up to see who she was and see if she had enough room to do it, but my resting bitch face mist have alarmed her a bit because she quietly apologised. It just so happened that at that time i had to leave to go to my boarding gate... but i sat there like a lemon for a few minutes so she didn't think she had offended me so much i walked off!

Not read in full yet but mine was in a diner in the USA.

I'd ordered a meal served with 'vegetables' and out it came with some beautiful, bright yellow veg that tasted so sweet it was amazing, it really tasted like no veg I'd ever tasted before. Intrigued by this yellow delight I asked the waiter what it was.

'Carrots' came his bemused reply.

So somewhere in L.A is a waiter convinced brits don't know what carrots are.

I didn't understand so I asked her to repeat it. I didn't understand it the second time so asked again. Still failed to understand and was too embarrassed to ask again so I just smiled, nodded and said yes, hoping that was at least something close to an appropriate response.

One of the very few advantages of having a hearing disorder is that I can say "I'm so sorry, I can't understand what you're saying. I have to lipread and I can't see your face" and people speak much clearer. No embarrassment on either side as it's not my fault or theirs but the bloody disorder and how could we have known

So actually I swear I miss less now than I used to when I could hear "normally", because I feel emboldened to ask.

A long time ago I was given a voucher for a massage at a day spa as a thank you gift. I'd never been for a massage before, and had never been to a day spa before, so it was all new and very exciting. On arrival I was given a paper g-string and asked to undress, pop on the g-string and lie on my tummy on the bed. I got myself organised and in walked my masseuse, a lovely girl from Indonesia whose accent I could not understand. I had a lovely back massage, then was asked to roll over and the towel was put over my torso while my legs and arms were massaged. Very relaxing. Then my masseuse asked me a question, which I didn't understand so I asked her to repeat it. I didn't understand it the second time so asked again. Still failed to understand and was too embarrassed to ask again so I just smiled, nodded and said yes, hoping that was at least something close to an appropriate response. The next thing I know the towel was whipped off and I was on the receiving end of a breast massage. Totally not what I was expecting, and not really what I wanted, but I was too polite to admit I hadn't understood so I tried to look cool and casual, like I was totally used to getting a breast massage with my neck, back and shoulder massage!

I went to tussauds in New York and was looking around the waxworks. It was quite busy so a lot of other people were filing through as well. It came to a themed section on music and there was someone taking a photo of an nsync tableaux so I politely waited for her to take the photo so as not to walk in front,
And waited
And waited
And then realised yes it was a waxwork of someone taking a photo

I once went to view a potential flat. The estate agent was still talking to the previous viewer & turned to me & just said "Wanda/wander", I spent a split second weighing up the chances that she was introducing herself to me rather than saying "go & have a look". I stuck my hand out & said "oh hi I'm Velvian" -She meant have a look around. Excrutiating, don't know what was so cringey about it really, but that was nearly 20 years ago.

Work not ORL!

I live and ORL in France. For years when I wanted to speak to a manager or client I'd hover awkwardly at the doorway to their office, not wanting to interrupt but waiting to be acknowledged.

Sometimes I'd hover for 10 minutes before giving a small cough and asking if I could just quickly bother them.

Then I noticed what my French colleagues do. Basically I should have just marched straight in with a cheery loud 'bonjour' and start asking my question immediately.

I try to do it though still cringe about it. Feels so wrong!

My next door neighbour misheard my name when I first introduced myself so, being too English to correct her I spent eight years answering to a different name.

I really really really hate coffee - it makes my stomach heave. But I was staying near some relatively distant relatives (in another country) last week and when I dropped by they insisted I stayed for a coffee. I gladly accepted, as in the UK you'd almost certainly be offered tea as well. But only coffee was served. Did I say anything? No, I bloody pretended to drink the coffee I'd been poured. Then when my DH turned up 10 minutes later, I insisted on giving him my (clearly untouched) cold cup of coffee to drink instead of letting them pour him a new one. Relatives were giving me total wtf looks.

Dh and I had a night flight back from Cuba. There was a little cafe at the airport and to use up the last of our currency we asked for 'dos cerveza'. The lovely chap at the bar took our order and presented us with 2 espressos which we're so strong you could almost stand a teaspoon up in them. Neither of us drink coffee or any kind of caffeine but we sat there drinking while the barman practiced his English on us.

We then spent an 8 hour flight twitching and definitely not sleeping

I went to a job club when I was unemployed in my early twenties, in a town I hadn't lived in for long. The organiser greeted me like an old friend and was clearly concerned as to why "I" was there again. I muttered something about things not working out and tried to avoid him as much as possible for the following 6 weeks.
A couple of weeks later with some new friends I went to a pub and the bouncer greeted me like an old friend and asked how my sister was getting on. I accepted the free entry into the pub and moved away shortly after.

These are absolutely hilarious keep them coming!

When I was a teenager I was mistaken for a boy on a semi-frequent basis. I didn't really mind much (big tomboy hence the buzzcut and boys clothes) and so if it was someone that I was unlikely to see again (random shop assistant etc) I wouldn't bother to correct them due to british awkwardness. I would instead try to act in as boyish a way as possible so that they didn't realise I was actually a girl and THEY get embarrassed they were mistaken

IT GETS WORSE! Once I didn't correct someone, and then it turns out they were not a customer, but a new colleague at my summer job when I was about 16/17. By the time I realised why he hadn't left the shop after 45 minutes, it was too far too late and he was calling me "sonny" and "champ". I did not say a word. FOR. EIGHT. DAYS!

Luckily I could then escape back to school and pretend it never happened, but I am 99% sure he figured it out and we both kept up the presence that I was a boy out of pure britishness.

mistressclaire I did a bit of French linguistics/pragmatics and you're right, the "politeness gap" between speakers is shorter in French which is why as a native English speaker you leave a longer gap when the other person stops talking and you feel you can never get a word in edgeways.