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Original poster

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?

365 replies

SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 11:55

I mean at least she won't get a duplicate and it make a change from 'best teacher' mugs?!

Asked ds what she liked - gardening apparently. DS's class is kestrel class so aha I thought. A little kestrel ornament for the garden. Except it is not little. No no. It is a gigantic genetically modified kestrel. Maybe she can put it at the bottom of the garden so it looks smaller?!

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
OP posts:
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EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 04/07/2017 21:18

But having read a bit more I don't think I'm your teacher as I have a completely new class next year.
Would have LOVED the Kestrel though!😁

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 21:16

Esme Shock

OP posts:
EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 04/07/2017 21:15

I have a Kestrel class...

mackerella · 04/07/2017 21:14

Greenifer, that blog has made me howl - now I really want to leave a 5ft chicken outside our front door and see what DH would make of it. "Knock knock, motherfucker!"

Loopytiles · 04/07/2017 21:13

Great gift OP! And brilliant thread.

Flowers to the windfucker finder poster. The wikipedia page says a regional synonym is "fuckwind".

Eg "shut up with your Fuckwind" to MIL.

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 21:03

That looks exactly the right size but is a hair clip and KoD doesn't have any hair, or feathers in fact... maybe I could take it off the hair clip and afix it by other means. It definitely looks a KoD sized hat.

OP posts:
TheMadGardener · 04/07/2017 20:53

If I'd had Kestrel of Doom as a teacher gift I would have thought it was hilarious!

The one thing I dreaded as teacher gifts was scented candles as they make me sneeze, so I would quickly rewrap them and pass them on to my sister, who loves them.

NoSquirrels · 04/07/2017 20:48

greenifer that has right cheered me up! Grin

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 20:47

I like sinister owl of authority.

Kestrel of Doom is sat on the windowsill overseeing the garden. It's a bit of a shock every time I go in the kitchen and he's there, judging me.
He does pale in comparison to the giant chicken though.

OP posts:
ZebraOwl · 04/07/2017 20:18

We have a Sinister Owl at Brownies. Sinister Owl guards the Brownie Cupboard. Our Wise Owl who sits on the toadstool is cute & fluffy. And doesn't terrify the children.

Kenneth ye the Windfucker
Kestrel (of Doom) is AMAZING. I'm a Brownie Leader & the things that mean most are cards/pictures etc. Assorted medical issues mean that alcohol/chocolate/toiletries are not - to varying degrees - Zebra-friendly gifts. A big metal kestrel would be amazing. In my case I'd probably seek permission from the Parish Priest to put it in and randomly move it around the church garden. He was very accommodating about us growing sunflowers, so...

Please post pictures of Doom!Kestrel in all his finery before Formal Presentation, won't you?

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
TheLegendOfBeans · 04/07/2017 20:14

Oh my god this is all shades of wonderful

hotwater · 04/07/2017 20:13

I am a little bit in love with Wind Fucker.

TheEmmaDilemma · 04/07/2017 19:43

@Greenifer That along with this is one of the funniest things I've read recently. I would so buy a 5ft chicken.

thelonelyhamster · 04/07/2017 19:23

The thread that keeps on giving...

Greenifer That blog post is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a long time. It's exactly what I would probably do under similar circumstances... not allowed to buy towels, FINE, I'm buying a 5ft metal chicken!

gincamelbak Top marks for giant robot!

SuperPug · 04/07/2017 19:19

This is amazing. And appropriate.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/07/2017 19:16

Having read about Beyoncé the giant metal chicken on Greenifer's link (which was excellent!) I can only conclude one thing

Sir Kittering Windfucker the Kestrel of Doom needs his own Facebook page

Eolian · 04/07/2017 19:12

Perhaps they should use kestrels as an incentive to get people into teaching?

Or to stop them leaving. Sadly I think it will take more than kestrels to do that. Maybe we should put kestrels in charge of the department for education. They couldn't windfuck it up worse than Gove did.

Trb17 · 04/07/2017 18:50

I bloody love him!

Best teacher gift EVER! Grin

Greenifer · 04/07/2017 18:48

Haha, totally brilliant, OP!

And reminds me of this, which makes me howl:

thebloggess.com/2011/06/21/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

SideOrderofSprouts · 04/07/2017 18:34

I'm a ta and I would love a wind fucker kestrel!

BoreOfWhabylon · 04/07/2017 17:58

OMG they are out of stock of windfuckers now!

They weren't when I shared the link. I was going to order one too Sad

You're nothing but a pack of thieving windfuckers! Angry

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 04/07/2017 17:54

Would love to claim it as my own work...but I meant I'd love to buy^ it for someone, just to see their expression!
(Is apparently made by an inspired upcycler in the States).

mikeyssister · 04/07/2017 17:46

Zuz that's brilliant

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 04/07/2017 17:41

Wish I knew someone who'd appreciate a bonkers garden bird recycled wok

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
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