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Original poster

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?

365 replies

SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 11:55

I mean at least she won't get a duplicate and it make a change from 'best teacher' mugs?!

Asked ds what she liked - gardening apparently. DS's class is kestrel class so aha I thought. A little kestrel ornament for the garden. Except it is not little. No no. It is a gigantic genetically modified kestrel. Maybe she can put it at the bottom of the garden so it looks smaller?!

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
OP posts:
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CantStandMeow · 04/07/2017 13:37

I'm the proud owner of a similar Toucan!

It lived in the classroom until I left and the kids made me I took it home 😂

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 13:37

Yes I'm sure he will look better once she's got her rose-tinted six weeks holiday spectacles on and also had a lot of wine. Lots and lots and lots of wine.

He was quite expensive actually - someone asked unthread - I wanted to get something a bit special as ds's teacher has been excellent. I suppose I've met the brief. In a way. He is special. However now I wonder if a gardening voucher might have been better...

Kenneth I like. Kenneth name tag. Mortor board hat. Monocle.

OP posts:
ShmooBooMoo · 04/07/2017 13:37

Might be nice for teacher to have a class competition to name him. They'll be creative and it'll give them ownership Smile

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/07/2017 13:34

Awesome present!

It's a guaranteed winner as she'll either love it and take it home for his conventional purpose, or if he isn't to her taste there's the wealth of classroom techniques to explore.

Anyway, if she doesn't love him at first she will after 29 bottles of wine from the rest of the class.

Eolian · 04/07/2017 13:33

Kingsley
Khan
Kipling
Kavanagh

You need something with gravitas.

BestestBrownies · 04/07/2017 13:27

Kobal = Demon of hilarity. Apparently.

He looks like a Silas to me. Scary Silas.

Or Sirius. Siriusly scary.....

WhatchaMaCalllit · 04/07/2017 13:27

I can just picture it now (with thanks to Fr. Ted)
"This kestrel is near....
that kestrel is far away"

LongLostCherub · 04/07/2017 13:26

Kester? Kit? Kenneth? I'm rather taken with Kenneth.

FloofyCat · 04/07/2017 13:26

Is the teacher's name Annie Heyworth, by any chance?

Perhaps you should start off by trying to leave a couple of love birds outside her apartment, if so, and gradually introduce more terrifying birds culminating in Evil Kestrel. Bonus points if you hide said Kestrel in her loft.

I've scared myself now

ShmooBooMoo · 04/07/2017 13:23

They are of the falcon genus, so Falco? or, Sir Falco? Smile

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 13:22

I feel better that most teachers would appreciate the outsize kestrel.

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 13:19

And a name. Name my ds's teacher's kestrel?
I'd like an alliterative name but I feel like Kevin doesn't suit him.

OP posts:
ShmooBooMoo · 04/07/2017 13:19

See?! Wink

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 13:18

Oh god. He absolutely needs a monocle.

OP posts:
Emeraude · 04/07/2017 13:17

I am a teacher and I would love to receive something so thoughtful. I also inexplicably love those garden ornaments. I've been eyeing up a robin one for a while. My favourite present of the last few years has been knitted coasters. OH GOD I'M ONLY 30.

ShmooBooMoo · 04/07/2017 13:14

I also love PP's idea of having the Kestrel produce an egg every day, with a little note inside eg riddle, proverb, name of child who's done a kind deed, tried hard that day!

ShmooBooMoo · 04/07/2017 13:12

ChipsCheese Never mind a waistcoat. What he really needs is one of these:

qi.com/media/14485416791448541646monocle.jpg

Eolian · 04/07/2017 13:10

Our class bought a cricket bat for the teacher, not sure if it is to be used by us or by him

Ds' (hilarious) primary teacher (who is also the headteacher) has a wooden mallet hanging behind his desk called 'The Attitude Adjustor' Grin. It's a joke, obvs, and the kids adore him. But a parent complained so he took it down. Should have got a kestrel instead.

chipscheeseandgravy · 04/07/2017 13:07

If your giving the kestrel a hat, he needs a waistcoat. Can you buy a kestrel waistcoat?

SequinsOnEverything · 04/07/2017 13:06

I love him! Please give it to her. No one ever gave me a giant bird when I was teaching Sad

Eolian · 04/07/2017 13:06

I can't stop thinking about kestrel-related lesson ideas now. Thanks for that.

Clearly each half-term the child with the best behaviour/marks/hairdo/fidget spinner skills etc should be allowed to have the Kestrel of Doom on his/her desk for one lesson and therefore sit in judgment over the rest of the class.

rightwhine · 04/07/2017 13:05

I used to have a little chappy that the kids used to compete for. The winning table would win the pleasure of him sitting on their desk. Great to motivate them to tidy their table, get changed for PE etc. Made my life so much easier.

MadMags · 04/07/2017 13:04

Please, please, PLEASE send it with

"Here is a horrific kestrel as a sign of our appreciation."

Please!

Madcats · 04/07/2017 13:03

Was it expensive?

There are 2 sets of magpies trying to defend/take over my garden in a territory battle and I'm getting fed up with the daily cackling/screeching. Something like that might deter them (though probably not).

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give it to the teacher. DD's school have all manner of mascots (including "Grumpy" from Snow White who sits scowling in the messiest cloakroom each week).

BestestBrownies · 04/07/2017 13:03

It could lay a daily 'egg fortune' to keep the little bastards darlings in line e.g. plastic kinder egg innards with cryptic hand-written threat pearl of wisdom inside

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