What are your best Total Brain Farts?

Oh the swimming pool stories are very funny!

About 6 weeks ago at work I was trying to multitask, acknowledging a customer whilst speaking to my colleague and walking into the office.
Stepped up onto wheelchair ramp in front of office door, tripped up, tried to save myself, stepped into door, opened it with my head and the momentum of the trip pushed me into the office in a very neat forward roll, the door quietly closing behind me.
My colleague pee'd herself with laughter.

I will NEVER hear the end of it.

I literally just used olive oil instead of washing up liquid...that definitely does not work the same.

Anyone else remember the poster who went swimming with her family while pregnant and for some reason took the bottom half of her costume off while standing at the side of the pool with the kids? She only realised when her husband stage-whispered "your minge!" from the other side of the pool.

I thought that one was in classics too - will have a look.

My best ever was walking into a full public pool with my kids and my handbag still over my shoulder, only noticing when I simultaneously saw a womans jaw drop and felt my handbag start to float beside me...

My best ever was walking into a full public pool with my kids and my handbag still over my shoulder, only noticing when I simultaneously saw a womans jaw drop and felt my handbag start to float beside me...

OMG literally pissing myself laughing about texting the cat!

Penguin My exDP took the remote control to work with him once,by mistake! probably thought it was his phone

Yes that's what I mean but didn't get ice cream cause my dh was like err no! I didn't realise until about two miles away from shop that I was a bit of a tit 😂

I think she means the man let her go first as she would be quick then she decided to get ice cream too so took longer.

Redken24 I don't get it? Am I dim?

alteredimages I'm so sorry you've lost your friend, you were obviously very close.

It's not uncommon to ask advice from, or talk to, loved ones who have died recently. Perhaps it's shock, perhaps it's magic. Who knows. If it's comforting then it's good.

I told DS earlier today that it was too hot for oaty morning thing. Forgot the word for porridge. He must know think I'm mad!

This one is a bit dark, but I went to phone my best friend who has just died to ask her whether she would prefer DH or me to attend her funeral and support her DH as we couldn't both make it.

It makes me look like a total idiot but I just can't quite grasp that she's gone.

Chatting to a friend - she said "I'm a bit sad, I can't really remember what I did for my 40th birthday".

Me "oh I know, it's horrible that, I can't remember what I did for mine either"

I'm 39

When I was pregnant can't remember how far maybe four/five mnths. Went to pay for petrol and a man said you go first I'm wanting ice creams made - so then I say oooooh DH d you want an ice cream to? It took me ages to realise why he called me cheeky. Mortified.

While reading this thread last night there was a man on telly with a slightly irritating voice which was a bit off putting. So rather than turn the volume down I looked up and said to the tv "could you be quiet please, I'm trying to read"

Also I'm relatively new to MN, could someone please explain what 'Angela Hernandez' is about? Thanks

thanks for that magenta!

I've got hundreds of these but I can't think of any right now... I'm pregnant and at the moment I forget the words for everyday items about 6 times a day!!

When I was younger we lost the tv remote for a few days... it turned up in the freezer?! Not sure who was responsible for that though.

Just remembered another... not mine this time but my teacher's. I was playing the part of Audrey 2, the man eating plant, in LIttle Shop of Horrors. While sorting out the costumes, the teacher decided that we needed more tentacles. Except she actually said we needed more testicles. In front of a bunch of teenaged children!

Forgetting the phonetic alphabet when I was giving my car reg.

"V for...umm...vendetta?"

A couple of years ago DH and I adopted some cats. The first day they were left alone when I was out at work (I very rarely worked full days back then) I was worried about how they were coping. So I picked up my desk phone to call them and check how their day was going. Of course I remembered at this point that we hadn't had the cats long, so obviously I hadn't had a chance to memorise their phone number yet. So I got my iPhone out to look up that cats number. It was only when I went to start dialling that the penny dropped.

My mum couldn't remember the words she was looking for to describe the pasta shapes that are like spaghetti but fatter, and have a hole down the middle (that one can blow through, if one is that way inclined).
She hand-wavingly described them (to me and my brother, both young adults) as "blow... jobs"

I had laser eye surgery about five years ago. About every six months or so I'll be driving along and suddenly think, "Shit! Where are my glasses?! I can't see a thing without them!"

Before remembering that I now have 20:20 vision through my actual eyes. The eyes I am seeing with.

I have thought about pausing and rewinding the radio.

I have also said 'undo, undo' while not using a computer.