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Original poster

Quirky house rules prompted by bitter experience

336 replies

KERALA1 · 26/06/2017 08:54

No under 8s allowed to use cling film (rendered unusable)

Windows always to be closed when you go out for day however high up you are (pigeon lays egg in bedroom drama)

Cheap feather boas not allowed in house (purple feathers everywhere for weeks)

OP posts:
paxillin · 26/06/2017 15:27

Do not eat anything that looks like the main ingredient for the next meal.

ravenia · 26/06/2017 15:25

No running in fluffy socks

No attempting to pull the dog's hair into a topknot. Or stuffing said dog into baby clothes and posting the photos on Facebook

Cineraria · 26/06/2017 15:20

Anyone leaving any kind of receptacle in front of the fireplace (where DS's potty is generally located) will be responsible for cleaning/replacing said receptacle.

DS likes using the potty very much but is still not sure what is a potty and what isn't a potty.

NancyJoan · 26/06/2017 15:15

No felt pens. None. No, not even the special ones from the party bag. No. Just fucking no.

HunterofStars · 26/06/2017 15:04

When I was a teenager, no drinks to be taken upstairs, all drinks to be had at the table. No using your mobile phone to call the house phone to ask if you can have a drink brought up when you are ill. No eating lunch at 10.30am and then having a second one at 12.30pm.

paxillin · 26/06/2017 14:56

I will NOT check pockets before laundry.

tccat · 26/06/2017 14:21

No covering yourself in red lipstick and coming downstairs naked when the health visitor is here (aged three)

tccat · 26/06/2017 14:19

Madamspeaker I have five of them , I could fill this thread on my own! The things they've done to each other!

LapCatLicker · 26/06/2017 14:16

"no poo at the table" This has expanded to mean no talk of any bodily functions at the table.
"No sticks, balls or wheels in the house"
"No shooting your mum" this applies to nerf guns, fake finger guns, water guns and elastic bands.
"No farting on your mum"
"No whacking your willy against your mum" I've told him that no woman ever in the history of woman has actually liked it when a man has walked up to her and whacked her with his willy. I hope he heeds this information as an adult.

DS is 6, I'm sure he'll grow out of some of these eventually...

YesMadamDeputySpeaker · 26/06/2017 14:10

tccat is there a bit of unharmonious sibling living going on round yours, by any chance? Grin

PuppyMonkey · 26/06/2017 14:09

No Chris Evans on the radio and/or telly.
No Emmerdale.
No flowers indoors (allergies).
No kids in the front seat of my car.
No marzipan.

Re the PP who said: "No buttering of bread before it goes in the toaster." WTF? Confused

Ollivander84 · 26/06/2017 14:08

Some from when I was a teenager

No going down stairs on roller skates (concrete stairs, it ended badly)
No running in shiny tights (I split my chin open on a door handle skidding on carpet)
Open the bathroom window after a bath because dad doesn't want to gas himself with impulse
Wash the bath after using baby oil in it
No hay or straw bales in the kitchen
No illicit pets

tccat · 26/06/2017 14:04

No replacing the sugar in the cannister with salt just before your brother makes a cup of tea

tccat · 26/06/2017 14:01

No leaving a cartoon path of drawing pins to your brothers bed

tccat · 26/06/2017 14:00

No drawing a Hitler moustache on your brother when he's sleeping after a couple of lemonades

tccat · 26/06/2017 13:57

No putting your testicles on your brothers toast

Bumbumtaloo · 26/06/2017 13:56

Oh and another one... No use of heelys and/or roller skates in the bathroom.

RebelandaStunner · 26/06/2017 13:45

No buzzing insects allowed in the
dog's sunroom conservatory
No going to the toilet within 2 hours of applying fake tan

Wobblebeans · 26/06/2017 13:39

Don't leave the nappy bag within reach of the toddler (nappy sacks and wipes all over the place anyone?)
Don't give pencils to the toddler
No bare bums on the sofa
No books/iPads/phones at the dinner table
Flush the toilet after doing a poo (DD1 I'm looking at you!)
No ball games in the house
No drinks near the computer...

steppemum · 26/06/2017 13:25

The driver choses the radion station.
The person sitting in fron tseat isn't allowed to change radio statio without asking
No-one is allowed to sing along to their music while wearing headphones

Unadon · 26/06/2017 13:08

No opening of envelops from your mates indoors in case your mate decides to send you one full of glitter as a revenge for you taking their last tonic water from the pantry. Grin

YesMadamDeputySpeaker · 26/06/2017 13:03

This isn't strictly a house rule but when in the car, no Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings audiobooks when Mum is driving.

sauceyorange · 26/06/2017 13:02

No talking while MIL is interrupting.

Ah, this is a familiar tune Grin

GeekLove · 26/06/2017 12:59

All turds weighing more than 2kg to be lowered by hand.

I had some... problems with bowel related issues as a pre-teen.

Herschellmum · 26/06/2017 12:59

No play doh or moonsand (not even experienced moonsand but I can invision it).

Don't touch mummy's chocolate (it's a rule but one one listens)

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