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Original poster

Quirky house rules prompted by bitter experience

336 replies

KERALA1 · 26/06/2017 08:54

No under 8s allowed to use cling film (rendered unusable)

Windows always to be closed when you go out for day however high up you are (pigeon lays egg in bedroom drama)

Cheap feather boas not allowed in house (purple feathers everywhere for weeks)

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 28/06/2017 11:14

InvisableLlama

I thought yours said no throwing children !!!

Peachypie83 · 28/06/2017 10:53

No speaking in unison. DD and DSS make every request in unison like they are auditioning for a remake of The Shining so now there has to be a nominated spokesperson

Yokohamajojo · 28/06/2017 10:47

Remember that there are two adults in this household so if I am busy ask the other one !!!

scampimom · 28/06/2017 10:15

No-one is allowed to poke the cat up the bum with a fork ANY MORE.

YesMadamDeputySpeaker · 28/06/2017 10:10

Bumbumtaloo Grin

We have the same situation with 'Everything is Awesome' from the bloody Lego film.

Bumbumtaloo · 28/06/2017 09:30

Do not 'shake your hair and feel united' next to a door
Do not sing 'true colours' at the top of your voice anywhere!
bastard Trolls film

MuvaWifey77 · 28/06/2017 01:12

No chopping veggies without appropriate glasses for DH

springydaffs · 28/06/2017 00:43

Oh yes ... always, always put a large bowl in the kitchen sink, when straining stock for Christmas Sunday lunch, that has been simmering overnight for over 4 hrs .... . [Edited]

In fact, don't get in a flap at the end of all that preparation starting at 5am when you went to bed at 2am the night before because you were helping Santa and absentmindedly drain the stock down the plug hole. (You only do this once, folks)

CanadaMoose91 · 28/06/2017 00:12

No candles lit when certain guests are over.
No remote control helicopters in the house.
No opening the kitchen window from the right hand side.

OlennasWimple · 27/06/2017 23:56

Do not lift up your mother, even if you are only ten and you can

OlennasWimple · 27/06/2017 23:55

No tickling with scissors

Pet food is for pets

Batmam22 · 27/06/2017 23:50

I'm not allowed to touch my dds phone after changing the names of her contacts. It took her ages to put it right Grin. Though I have to say I am still Batmam on the contact list Smile

And no pooing in the kitchen sink because you can't find the bathroom Shock

(I've NC for this as it's very outing)

FreezerBird · 27/06/2017 23:48

I forgot: no attempting to power slide on the carpets. (Nasty carpet burns which were hard to explain).

FreezerBird · 27/06/2017 23:43

Worms live outside.

Leave all sticks outside the front door when returning from a walk.

When at the beach, only pebbles you can carry yourself may come home. (This rule under reassessment after the occasion when DS put so many pebbles in his pockets that his shorts fell down)

Do not sellotape your sister to the wall.

NOT ON THE STAIRS! (Covers many things)

If you take a shirt out of the wardrobe and then decide not to wear it, it goes back in the wardrobe. Ditto jeans after only one wear etc. THE LAUNDRY BASKET IS NOT CLOTHES STORAGE.

Please do put your worn pants in the laundry basket. That is in fact what it is there for.

Don't fart at me when I'm changing your nappy then giggle.

Snails are not pets.

Glitter only to be used in rooms with hard flooring.

No glitter. It's the herpes of crafts.
It's called festive anthrax in this house.

DancingLedge · 27/06/2017 23:33

Anything in the fridge that's still wrapped in a plastic bag is not to be eaten/tasted/even looked at.

If you leave a vanish soap bar/chocolate/fishing equipment within reach of idiot Labrador, you will be so let responsible for resulting vet's bill.

RaspberryBeretHoopla · 27/06/2017 23:28

When using a mixer, always tie your long hair back.

RueDeWakening · 27/06/2017 23:13

Never microwave your boiled egg. The clean up will more than make up for any time you might have saved... (that was my dad, in the mid-80s) Grin

flibflab · 27/06/2017 23:07

We do not have a sofa-lene

moonbells · 27/06/2017 23:07

"Stop it please" means just that, immediately with no argument no matter who asks. Arose from tickle fights but might have a more serious use one day.

Don't believe the walking stomachs cats

If there are feathers in the garden, please try and find the rest of the pigeon before the flies do, and bin it.

Never leave the loo cover up. Inquisitive cats covered in loo water are not very sanitary.

M0stlyBowlingHedgehog · 27/06/2017 23:06

Lodgers: Please wrap used condoms discreetly in toilet paper and place in the bathroom bin. Or better still, straight in the outside bin. Do not drop them down the back of the radiator.

(Discovered next time I decorated the bedroom. Boak.)

StrangeLookingParasite · 27/06/2017 23:03

No singing a single line or couplet of a song over and over and over until I want to smash things and poke my ears in with knitting needles.

Sugarcoma · 27/06/2017 22:58

Must set timer when boiling eggs because once someone I forgot about an egg boiling on the stove and it exploded. DH and I spent a Saturday night cleaning up burnt egg off the floor, ceiling etc.

MuvaWifey77 · 27/06/2017 22:56

for my 6yr old;
No poo marks in the loo (he's learned to clean his own now)
No devices at the dinner table
No getting out of dinner table without asking
No football/scooter/bike riding in the hallway
No climbing on the living room furniture
No muddy football boots in the house

ilovepixie · 27/06/2017 22:30

No eating someone else's Easter egg and blaming it on the hamster!

Sidge · 27/06/2017 22:19

No licking the cat.

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