Curtains must be opened as soon as you are dressed or if you were the one that closed them in the downstairs rooms. The neighbour came over late afternoon concerned that someone had died 
No yellow car (hitting) games when I am around.
No knuckle cracking in my earshot.
If you open the bathroom window in winter, set the specially purchased timer on the landing for 5 mins, otherwise we heat the rest of the world for hours before anyone realises.
Take the logs from the top of the pile, not the front or they fall on the dog.
The headphones and charger on my bedside table must never be borrowed.
The dog isn't allowed to sleep on the third stair down (she is the same colour as the carpet).
The person on dog-poo picking duty has to bag and bin it, not flick it into the flower bed.
Shoes off in the porch after DH walked CV joint grease onto the hall carpet for the second time, just four weeks after the insurance company had replaced it due to the first time 
No more than two episodes of Dr Who on the living room TV per night and I think that is far too generous.