Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Quirky house rules prompted by bitter experience

336 replies

KERALA1 · 26/06/2017 08:54

No under 8s allowed to use cling film (rendered unusable)

Windows always to be closed when you go out for day however high up you are (pigeon lays egg in bedroom drama)

Cheap feather boas not allowed in house (purple feathers everywhere for weeks)

OP posts:
froomeonthebroom · 26/06/2017 12:57

No football in the bathroom

Goldmandra · 26/06/2017 12:56

Tooth-brushing happens over the bathroom sink, not wandering round the upstairs of the house, dripping toothpaste. This rule is for DH, rather than DCs.

If the laundry bin is by the washing machine, dirty washing has to be put in it, not the space on the bathroom floor it usually occupies.

No turning the iron up to the hottest setting.

Requests for shopping don't count until they are written on the list in the kitchen.

These are coming way too easily. I'm concerned that I may be a control freak Shock

SasBel · 26/06/2017 12:56

No eating whilst moving, no chocolate/juice/ice cream in the sitting room.
Bathroom door to be closed at night, new kitten decided to piss on bathroom floor rather than litter tray.....
Sure I will have more as they get older!

MrsGotobed · 26/06/2017 12:54

Only Daddy is allowed to use Superglue (yes, I'm banned too after one too many incidents of gluing fingers to something)

No wheeled vehicles in the house eg. skateboards, scooters or large toy cars big enough to stand on (broken bone incident due to wheels on wooden floors)

PhilODox · 26/06/2017 12:54

Cola- maybe... but he needs to meet his physical needs as well as his spiritual/emotional ones! Clean teeth/dry pants being non-negotiable.

Spudlet · 26/06/2017 12:51

I thought of another one.

No reading the same book more than three times in a row. Go and pick another one for goodness sake!

Colacolaaddict · 26/06/2017 12:49

Phil a clever cookie you have there! Grin

dangermouseisace · 26/06/2017 12:46

my name to 'Poo Face'

dangermouseisace · 26/06/2017 12:46

Just pants is not suitable dinner attire.

No breeding woodlice indoors.

No changing my name etc 'Poo Face' on my email via Siri if you use my devices

PhilODox · 26/06/2017 12:44

Cola- me too, usually meaning DS has 4 or 5 books in the go in rotation until he gets one back! Grrrr.

Ineedagoodusername · 26/06/2017 12:38

This is hilarious!!

Colacolaaddict · 26/06/2017 12:37

PhilODox I think we must have the same children.

I have been known to confiscate books until xyz is done.

bigkids Grin

I have another one: opening one curtain doesn't count. Go back and do the other one.

PovertyJetset · 26/06/2017 12:37

*cheek to cheek ffs

Annaanaconda · 26/06/2017 12:36

No blackcurrant squash anywhere near the cream sofa. I wouldn't mind if I was talking about a toddler. I mean DH, he's 51. Hmm

PovertyJetset · 26/06/2017 12:36

No pooping in the en suit. The waft of DHs poo waking me up once was enough to implement this rule.

No chatting to mummy when she is reversing off the drive.

You can touch bottoms cheek to come geek but you must not part said cheeks.

No knee slides in the kitchen.

No scooting through the house and treating exits/doors as "trick rails"

Spudlet · 26/06/2017 12:33

New rule, made just today - the carpet does not suffer from nappy rash. Thus, ds, there is no need to apply Sudocreme to the floor. Confused

Does anyone know how you get sudocreme out of a carpet, btw? Blush

mazylou · 26/06/2017 12:32

Close the bathroom doors. JuniorCat likes nothing better than to shred the loo paper ALL OVER the house.

YesMadamDeputySpeaker · 26/06/2017 12:28

No willies at the dining table.

I'm presuming there is a backstory Shock

bigkidsdidit · 26/06/2017 12:25

No willies at the dining table.

Somerville · 26/06/2017 12:22

No competitive eating.

No drinks on the piano.

No monopoly.

PhilODox · 26/06/2017 12:19

No musical instruments in the kitchen. (Mainly due to hard floors)

Books must be put down to do other activities such as eat, dress, brush teeth, go to loo etc.

Not at the top of the stairs!!! (said about a dozen times a week to DS, who will caper wherever he is)

Chopchopbusybusy · 26/06/2017 12:18

We also have the rule that windows (or bat flaps as we call them) must be closed when dark. Hell in the recent heatwave as you can imagine.

UterusUterusGhali · 26/06/2017 12:16

No wheels of any kind in the kitchen.

No Nikki Minaj at the dinner table.

Sanscollier · 26/06/2017 12:13

Grin 1mouse

brilliant YesMadameDeputySpeaker Grin Grin

1mouse2 · 26/06/2017 12:11

If you are going to do graffiti don't sign it!

(Dd2 then 4, little lad next door,permanent marker and a newly painted side of house.)

Swipe left for the next trending thread