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Original poster

Quirky house rules prompted by bitter experience

336 replies

KERALA1 · 26/06/2017 08:54

No under 8s allowed to use cling film (rendered unusable)

Windows always to be closed when you go out for day however high up you are (pigeon lays egg in bedroom drama)

Cheap feather boas not allowed in house (purple feathers everywhere for weeks)

OP posts:
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ivenoideawhatimdoing · 01/09/2017 15:00

No washing the wooden floor with a broken leg.
No petting dogs near radiators.
No running in pyjamas
Enough crockery and cutlery left to eat meal that's been cooked
No Darth Vader balloons
No building work to be done pre march
No slow cooker on carpet
No emptying the weekly shop on the floor
No hairspray near the downstairs window

Effendi · 10/07/2017 19:24

Driver chooses the tunes.
The cats lie, they have been fed. Don't let them take the piss.
Look interested while DM is interrupting.
No going outside wearing only underpants. (DH)
No Jeremy Kyle when I'm in the house.

MrsApplepants · 02/07/2017 09:58

No whistling. Ever
Toothbrushes must be rinsed after use before putting back in mug
No wheels in the kitchen
No channel hopping

Bumbumtaloo · 01/07/2017 15:17

And another one.....

Do not leave the wet room door open whilst showering or youngest cat will get in it with you and meow continuously when you turn it off! thought cats hated the shower

DancingLedge · 01/07/2017 14:41

The badges itself will be a simple motif of a stunt pineapple. Grin

DancingLedge · 01/07/2017 14:40

Melanie like a MN version of a Blue Peter badge? For posters who start a thread that ends up in Classics? Great idea

Stopyourhavering · 01/07/2017 08:49

No houseplants within reach of toddler
No cat food within reach of crawling baby
No tool box within reach of 4 yr Old in vicinity fathers' sports car

MelanieCheeks · 01/07/2017 08:42

Ooooooh, classics! Do we get a special badge or medal?

Blerg · 30/06/2017 22:40

I love this! I've been reading over some tricky nights.

Ours:
No balls to be thrown at the TV.
No standing on the window ledges naked or in just pants.
Loo brush out of reach.
All small objects to be in a container a 17 month old can't open or up high.
No standing on the dining table triumphantly (17 month old).
DD (3.5) not to carry her brother.
DH must don a top before sitting at the table.
Always lock the front door so the children don't escape.
Some interesting sticks and leaves may be brought into the house in a reasonable quantity, but no feathers.
DH not to ride on the micro scooter.
DD is not to be allowed to hold any cream or lotion as she will slick her entire head of long hair down.

SasBel · 30/06/2017 10:22

Yay! Thank you LornaMumsnet

MNHQ
LornaMumsnet · 30/06/2017 09:56

Hi folks,

We're sending this thread over to classics now. Brilliant! Grin

sashh · 30/06/2017 09:06

Only collect the quail eggs if you are competent enough to not let them out.

Most middle class rule ever

wanderings · 30/06/2017 08:05

A couple of birthday party ones:

High-risk presents (valuable or breakable) to be safely put away before the guests turn up. Any such presents from guests get the same treatment.

Pin the tail: we all love this game, and have it with every party, but unlike other games, we've made quite a collection of rules:

  1. Spinning optional for younger children.
  2. You must be blindfolded to play (no just closing eyes), but we offer several blindfolds to choose from.
  3. An adult does the blindfolding and spinning; not the birthday boy or girl as we did once before.
  4. Every player to be asked "can you see?", or "how many fingers?". Usually birthday boy or girl does this.
  5. Birthday boy or girl goes last, and gets extra spins.
peaksandvalleys · 29/06/2017 23:01

yes , it had to stay there all the way home from Gullivers World !

MrBobDobalina · 29/06/2017 22:15

No battery operated mini fans near my hair

Gosh, that sounds like it ended badly Grin

peaksandvalleys · 29/06/2017 21:42

No pretending to eat the goldfish ( replaced with a piece of carrot) ..traumatising

No maggots in the fridge

No battery operated mini fans near my hair

No junior tool kits

No mustard in dads mouth (especially when he’s sleeping)

No lighting of farts

No exercising the school hamster whilst drunk

No staircase sleeping bag races

No tug of war games on the top bunk bed

sodabreadjam · 29/06/2017 21:30

No wildlife (alive or dead) allowed in the house.

I am looking at you, Sodacats 1 and 2. I could have done without having to catch and release that lightly-chewed sparrow in the front porch when I was ready to go out yesterday.

DH is Mr. Crappypants in these situations.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 29/06/2017 21:12

Only collect the quail eggs if you are competent enough to not let them out.
If you let the quail out you catch them.
Don't let the cat eat anything with garlic in.
If you let the cat eat garlic you clean up the sick.

Onynx · 29/06/2017 21:10

Writing / colouring on paper only.....
No shooting lightbulbs with Nerf guns
No water fights in the house....
No kicking footballs in the house
No throwing golfballs

Onynx · 29/06/2017 21:06

No insects or ant colonies in the house...
No pooing in my ensuite
No bare bums on the sofa, underwear to be picked up off the floor...

HighwayDragon1 · 29/06/2017 20:45

No tap dancing in the kitchen

walkinganhouraday · 29/06/2017 20:40

No pushing sofa and dining table against the wall to play football/rugby.

No moving lamps, pictures or ornaments to play football/rugby.

No moving double wardrobe by DD 10 to make room for gymnastics.

No tap dancing on dining table.

We also have no pooing in downstairs toilet. DH always goes immediately before we are expecting visitors. I think he's marking his territory Grin

AirandMungBeans · 29/06/2017 19:28

And no opening the hamster's cage before bed. Found her sitting next to the fridge in the morning, then had to spend two hours trying to extract her from behind the units.

AirandMungBeans · 29/06/2017 19:26

Ooh another one:

No Hama beads...ever.

2ndSopranos · 29/06/2017 19:19

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