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Original poster

WORST sex dream EVER! I will NEVER sleep again!

256 replies

MumBod · 06/06/2017 07:48

Donald Trump!

What the fuck, mind?

Why?

Can I get a brain transplant for this on the NHS?

Fucking hell...he kissed the back of my neck and groped my boobs and...

Oh god

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Teabagtits · 06/06/2017 14:04

My tv remote control !

Nuff said.

WorshipTheGourd · 06/06/2017 14:03

WetsTheFinger
MY Boris was wearing his bike helmet and saying:
'Get ahead of the Games'
he also still had his suit trousers on (complete with bike clips) just his fly undone.
I had the impression he was in a hurry and I was just one of many 'Laydeees' he had to fit in.

Not wrong, I expect Grin Envy

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:56

Well, if my suffering can bring light to the lives of others, then it hasn't been in vain...

OP posts:
JakeBallardswife · 06/06/2017 13:55

Brilliant OP. Well obviously brilliant for us but not so much for you.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/06/2017 13:54

God thanks to you lot my mind now is now full of trumps knob...

Revolting....

I hate you

HerOtherHalf · 06/06/2017 13:49

Did he say 'quack quack oops' when he finished?

Brilliant.

I wonder if he announced "here comes the hairy happening" as he got his knob out.

TanteJeanne · 06/06/2017 13:46

Rod Stewart.
Not even in his prime.
Amazing.
Until I woke up. Ughhhhh.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:42

BADSHAG

Britain Against Diabolical Sex Hallucinations Argh Gross

OP posts:
Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:39

Who knew that women all over the world were suffering like this at night?

Something should be done.

A campaign. A pressure group.

WASN'T - Women Against Sex Nightmare Trauma

OP posts:
WetsTheFinger · 06/06/2017 13:38

I've had Boris Johnson. Sad Complete with messy suit ripped open, flyaway hair with my fingser entwined and bumbling posh voice asking "do you like me touching you there?"

Heave.

Pleasemrstweedie · 06/06/2017 13:35

I see your DLT and I raise you ... Peter Mandelson, and not just once either!

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:34

DLT???

As in the Hairy Cornflake??

Oh my word. Now that has brought a laugh to my traumatised lips Grin

Did he say 'quack quack oops' when he finished?

OP posts:
Borntobeamum · 06/06/2017 13:32

I feel I should name change for this but here goes.
I was in hospital suffering with pre-enclampsia and had the most vivid dream.
I was in the full throes of sex with DLT!
Not only that, but when I woke, I was erm pleasuring myself and close to the big O!

I was suddenly aware of being in a 4 bedded ward and being looked at very strangely by 3 random pregnant ladies!

I was totally mortified!

hollygolipo · 06/06/2017 13:30

Was he"bigly " OP? Did he do the pointy mouth thing?

I had a Michael Flatley dream once. Just no.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:26

No wonder she always has a face like a well-slapped arse, areyoubeingserviced

She can't think it's worth it. She can't.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:26

ilove why can't I have an Obamabonk?

S'not fair.

Why do I get Trump?

Shtoopid orange ovaries.

OP posts:
areyoubeingserviced · 06/06/2017 13:25

All I can say is poor Melania. Mumbod you dreamt it, imagine having to actually have to do it.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:25

Flippinada - that's just sick

Sick

OP posts:
flippinada · 06/06/2017 13:24

Whoops, Mumbod.

iloveeverykindofcat · 06/06/2017 13:24

I dreamed I did it with Obama once.

It was good Smile

flippinada · 06/06/2017 13:23

Sympathies gin.

It could have been worse though. You could have been in the middle of three way with Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 13:22

Cheggers is visiting my town this summer, pp.

If you want me to tip him the wink, just say the word...Wink

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 06/06/2017 13:09

I haven't had any horrific ones ; I just came on to guffaw at sympathise with the OP.

Also, Grin at I've had Keith Chegwin

brightnearly · 06/06/2017 13:03

Please put this thread in Classics.

BelligerentGardenPixies · 06/06/2017 12:59

I was going to trump it with Jeremy Kyle but you can't trump the Trump. Full frontal lobotomy is your only hope.

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