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Original poster

WORST sex dream EVER! I will NEVER sleep again!

256 replies

MumBod · 06/06/2017 07:48

Donald Trump!

What the fuck, mind?

Why?

Can I get a brain transplant for this on the NHS?

Fucking hell...he kissed the back of my neck and groped my boobs and...

Oh god

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
LordTrash · 06/06/2017 09:20

Condolences, OP Flowers.

My worst one was Neil Morrissey - mild in comparison. Last night, I had Larry Lamb put an arm around me, which I was A-OK with.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 09:19

Oh, Argeles, I don't know what to say. Maybe we should start some kind of support group where we sleep in shifts, and wake each other up if we start to show signs of a Donald Dream?

Like, I don't know, retching, crossing legs, clawing at our own throats, vomiting through our nostrils...that kind of thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 09:16

No, it was the actual, tiny-handed, shredded wheat-balancing, tangerine freak Trump.

He didn't take well to being chucked, but I was stoic.

I feel like I'm in A Nightmare On Elm Street. I daren't nod off.

one, two, Donald's coming for you

Literally Sad

OP posts:
Argeles · 06/06/2017 09:15

A few weeks ago, I woke up just as Trump had his arm around my shoulder and was leaning in to kiss me.

We were both fully clothed (thank fuck), but very weirdly, I was my teenage self (14) and wearing my school uniform. Please don't psychoanalyse me!!! I've always had a huge thing for older men, but not that man, yuk!

He was President, and had come to visit our school, and saw me in a crowd, draped his arm around me and said that there was something special about me, and that he needed one on one time with me.

He walked around the packed school hall together, and he had his arm around me the whole time, holding me close against him and squeezing me.

I'll never forget that nightmare. I woke up feeling so, so sick.

rightwhine · 06/06/2017 09:10

You mean the actual President Trump? Not some other poor unfortunate of the same name?

WildKiwi · 06/06/2017 09:03

I'll be complaining to Mumsnet HQ if reading this thread puts some nightmarish ideas into my subconscious (quaking with fear at the thought of sleep now....)

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 06/06/2017 09:01

OP Flowers

brightnearly · 06/06/2017 08:59

Sympathies, MumBod - but thank you for making me laugh tears reading this thread !!! Grin

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 08:55

Moving

Yes, yes, that's it! I've taken a metaphor for the team!

It's not that my nasty, depraved mind is toying with me for its own sick pleasure at all.

OP posts:
FlaviaAlbia · 06/06/2017 08:50

Sends Flowers Gin

Movingin2017 · 06/06/2017 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 08:42

I don't feel like a winner. I don't think I want my breakfast.

Sad
OP posts:
Lunar1 · 06/06/2017 08:37

I was coming to say it can't have been as bad as my David walliams dream, but bloody hell, you win!

HerOtherHalf · 06/06/2017 08:37

So sorry this happened to you. There was no consent. LTB and report to police.

DotForShort · 06/06/2017 08:36

My sympathies. I once had a sex dream about George W. Bush when he was President. I still recoil in horror just thinking about it. The Donald would be infinitely worse.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 08:34

George Osborne is at least vaguely human, though.

Vaguely.

OP posts:
TheTurnOfTheScrew · 06/06/2017 08:31

I had George Osborne twice, which I think was caused by an unfortunate combination of pregnancy hormones and a clock radio set to the Today programme.

I had to switch to Radio1 for a while as a preventative measure.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 08:28

Stoppit gin stoppitstoppit!

OP posts:
GinSwigmore · 06/06/2017 08:24

and don't forget MumBod...
''his hair's not perfect but it's his''
''his fingers are long and beautiful, as, has been documented, are other parts of his body''
and my own personal favourite
''he guarantees there's no problem with his penis size, he guarantees''

StrangeLookingParasite · 06/06/2017 08:21

God's teeth. That is horrific.

GinSwigmore · 06/06/2017 08:18

All Mumbods flirt with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. But MumBod had a FAKE Orgasm, FAKE!!! Sad.

Original poster
MumBod · 06/06/2017 08:10

TheNaze you've raised a smile from a traumatised woman.

I keep having little flashbacks. DP just kissed me on the cheek and I recoiled a bit and gasped 'Donald did that!'

This is my own personal Nam Sad

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 06/06/2017 08:05

I hope the dream ended with a telephone number you could call, if you'd been affected by it

StorminaBcup · 06/06/2017 08:04

Not Donald Doll-hands Shock

SerfTerf · 06/06/2017 08:04

You need dream interpretation. It's bound to mean something profound.

Doesn't dream sex always mean death? Or is it business? Maybe you're going into business with The Donald Smile

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