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Original poster

Help me get over my vanilla cuntyness

284 replies

Youuttercono · 26/04/2017 21:59

I haven't told anyone this in RL because I am actually mortified at myself. I am a fluent, but not native, Spanish speaker. But for some bollocky reason I said something completely fucking stupid recently.

Instead of asking for a vanilla ice cream cone I asked for a vanilla cunt. Blush What kind of idiot am I? To make matters worse, the person serving me laughed with her colleague about it (at me, not with me!) I was too mortified to laugh at myself and haven't stopped cringing.

Help me get over it by telling me some gaffes you have made, either linguist or just plain stupid.

OP posts:
centreyourself · 26/04/2017 22:17

I sent someone a Christmas card with Bonne Noel on it last year
Note the disagreeing verb & adjective.
I think it's the equivalent of wishing someone a merry anniversary/moderately pleasant birthday/passable retirement etc.
Just all wrong.
Has any one read David Sedaris' 'Me talk Pretty One Day'? Oh how I laughed.

Original poster
Youuttercono · 26/04/2017 22:17

Haha! The imagery with that one is good Grin

OP posts:
CaulkheadNorth · 26/04/2017 22:16

In French gcse we had to do spoken things. A friend said she had two strawberries instead of two brothers. I laughed so much I got sent out of the room to calm down. When I came back to do my speaking bit I forgot what I needed to say and also said I had two strawberries.

Original poster
Youuttercono · 26/04/2017 22:13

Pollo / polla - classic!

OP posts:
Original poster
Youuttercono · 26/04/2017 22:12

Ah you made me laugh out loud!
Thank you Grin

They must have thought I was such a twat: speaking fluent Spanish and then throwing in the c-bomb!

OP posts:
Birdandsparrow · 26/04/2017 22:08

A friend of mine got chicken (pollo) and dick (polla) mixed up in Spain, shouted her order in a noisy bar, just as she did it all went quiet and was heard by most of the bar. I often said conyo instead of conmigo when first learning (so, cunt instead of with me..would you like to come cunt).

iklboo · 26/04/2017 22:08

And to make you feel better - had it not been for spellcheck I'd have sent an email to a German colleague asking her to contact me if she needed any fuhrer information.

iklboo · 26/04/2017 22:06

Spin it. Make yourself sound 'ard & 'orrible..

'Give me a vanilla, cunt'. Works for Phil Mitchell. Grin

Jecan · 26/04/2017 22:03

Aaarrgghh I'm cringing for you.

I often get schwul and schwül mixed up in German. One means humid & the other means gay! I've given up describing the weather as humid