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Original poster

How to feel like you're on holiday when you're not?

161 replies

qualityjaisket · 24/03/2017 15:11

I'm really craving a week (or several) in the sun but have no plans for holidays this year. How can I recreate that holiday feeling at home?

OP posts:
mrsBeverleygoldberg · 25/03/2017 21:02

Drinking from lunch time.
Eating a disgusting amount of food.
No cleaning or clearing up.
Laughing and laying about.
Going on day trips.

thethoughtfox · 25/03/2017 20:58

Make a fort. Did this once pre marriage and kids but could be even more fun with kids. Bring mattresses into the living room and have floor picnics and pretend you are camping.

Original poster
qualityjaisket · 25/03/2017 17:51

Just trying to save money Foldedtshirt.

OP posts:
RebelandaStunner · 25/03/2017 13:47

Put a mop with a sign on it outside your loo saying it's being cleaned and could you use an alternative.

Buy a suduko puzzle book, fill in three numbers, then fan yourself with it whilst moaning it's too hot. Leave it on the table for two weeks then pack it away for 'next year'

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2017 13:35

Stand beside your child's sand pit and eat your dinner pretending it's a beach BBQ , whilst swaying and singing to the bee gees and drinking blow your head off strength cocktails.

Wear an inappropriately short skirt, vest and sparkly flip flops to do it and wrap a pashmina round your shoulders. Don't style your hair, because you know the heat will just make it drop out. Wear only mascara and lip gloss cos you're now naturally tanned and beautiful.

Then turn the music up and have yourself a beach disco.

RebelandaStunner · 25/03/2017 13:22

Record your kids asking
"Are we nearly there yet?" In whiny voices.
Play it over and over...

Destinysdaughter · 25/03/2017 13:12

Buy some revealing, totally inappropriate clothes and never wear them again

BikeRunSki · 25/03/2017 12:43

Spray your hair with salt water to make it dry and crunchy.

JamesDelaneysHat · 25/03/2017 12:06

Decide that Mediterranean sunshine makes your skin look soooo much better and decide to go make up free. Then Weep in horror at the photos which reveal your blotchy, wrinkly, red and gurning face in every shot when you thought you looked like a bohemian goddess.

dowhatnow · 25/03/2017 11:56

Keep applying sunscreen regardless of the fact it is -2 outside

Weed the garden using a plastic bucket and spade. Pretend its sand.

Destinysdaughter · 25/03/2017 11:42

Eat in a dodgy restaurant and spend next 2 days on the loo

GoEasyPudding · 25/03/2017 10:50

Visit a local restaurant for lunch wearing a bikini top and a sarong. Flirt with the waiter a little bit.
Go to the local shop and ask if they have a nice picture postcard of the local attractions. Send a postcard to a friend and say "wish you were here!, oh hang on you are!"

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 25/03/2017 10:37

Cocolepew - I really hope the op follows proper protocol on that one.

Pastries/hastily made jam sandwiches must be half heartedly wrapped in a bundle of small greasy paper Napkins, to which they will melt and stick and loosen crumbs into the bottom of the bag. They must be served hot, and squashed beyond all perception of their original form.

Fruit choice must be a bruised yellow soft apple which was not even appealing in the first place, let alone after 8 hours in the bottom of a beach bag coated with fluff and sand.

SquirrelSquad · 25/03/2017 10:12

Pack a suitcase and take a late night coach to a remote area you've never heard of. During the journey, listen to Boney M on loop, through tinny earphones.

When you get to the remote destination at 2am, stand there looking perplexed and have an argument with your DP about which "apartment" is yours, and get him to have a pretend phone call with the travel rep.

Sit down on the pavement in your flip-flops and declare "I've had enough of this crap!"

Cocolepew · 25/03/2017 10:12

At breakfast make extra so you can shove extra fruit and pastries in your handbag to eat later.
Only use tiny jars of jam and narmalade.

BikeRunSki · 25/03/2017 10:09

Block out our car windows except for a tiny oval. Strap yourself in for several hours with the heating on full blast. Eat a tiny bag of pretzels. Argue with your children.

Foldedtshirt · 25/03/2017 10:07

😂 love shag a waiter!
What's stopping you holidaying? Is it money or time? Do you want suggestions as to how you could get away?

Itmustbemyage · 25/03/2017 10:04

If you have a TV in your bedroom chain it to the wall.
Get one of those mini kettles that takes half a hour to heat up, make up a tray with said kettle, cups and sachets of coffee/ tea and UHT milk and you can only have a tea or coffee if you use your lovely facilities.
Also move your fridge into your bedroom fill it with chocolate, pringles etc but you have to pay a fiver every time you take something out of it.

wifeyhun · 25/03/2017 09:59

Wear some white socks with sandals.

Get up at 6am in the morning and put a towel on a garden chair to reserve it.

wizzywig · 25/03/2017 09:53

I think this needs to be in classics.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 25/03/2017 09:47

Ask your neighbour to sneak into your garden at 4.30am and drape towels over everything so you have nowhere to sit.

Destinysdaughter · 25/03/2017 09:42

Shag a waiter Grin

JustSpeakSense · 25/03/2017 09:33

After wiping your bum, throw toilet paper in the bin instead of flushing. (Greece)

BikeRunSki · 25/03/2017 08:27

Sit on a camping chair and drink cheap red wine out of tumblers.

Original poster
qualityjaisket · 25/03/2017 08:25

On the theme of funny brand names...

How to feel like you're on holiday when you're not?
OP posts:
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