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Original poster

Oh FGS (TMI)

161 replies

Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 21:23

I am developing thrush. Because an itchy vagina is clearly what I needed on top of dealing with year 10...

OP posts:
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Galena · 07/03/2017 22:29

DD has a territorial robin at the riding school she goes to. It has been known to poo on the chairs and last week disgraced itself on my coat!

I wouldn't use it for the thrush though - a bit small I reckon. Although, it obviously doesn't go hungry - it's a bit of a round robin. Perhaps I should post it to Janet and Roy... (I think it was Janet and Roy...)

ChickenVindaloo2 · 07/03/2017 22:23

My neighbour has fabulous plums in his front garden.

KittiesInsane · 07/03/2017 22:23

Itchy chuff? I think you meant chough.

It does look rather red.

lurs · 07/03/2017 22:23

Will a Chough work for an itchy chuff?

ChickenVindaloo2 · 07/03/2017 22:23

I have a lot of questions about this thread:
Does the peasant need to be revolting? ie a revolting peasant?
Is it ok to put yoghurt up your chuff if you're doing the paleo diet (no dairy)? Will soya yoghurt substitute work? Chocolate or strawberry flavour?

Original poster
Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 22:20

Echoes I do like eating from my own garden but that somehow wasn't quite what I had in mindGrin

OP posts:
BaggypantsCrimplesnitch · 07/03/2017 22:19

Grin Grin Penhacked

itsnoteasy, altogether now - "VERY CAREFULLY..."

ChickenVindaloo2 · 07/03/2017 22:19

I have a blue tit.
But no thrush.

EchoesofEmpires · 07/03/2017 22:18

Yes to the yoghurt OP, but be warned, if all you've got is a Muller Corner, well, don't do that. Trust me on this, happened to me a friend one time unless you want to be picking granola bits out of your lady garden for weeks - though maybe that's what the pheasants are for.

Waltons · 07/03/2017 22:17

Nominated for Classics after only 50 posts!

CoolCarrie · 07/03/2017 22:16

How about a grouse? Famous or otherwise...

Original poster
Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 22:15

Pen I'm lucky: I don't need to choose, I get to have both!

OP posts:
Original poster
Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 22:14

What does mum pheasant do when she gets thrush? This is getting confusingConfused

OP posts:
Penhacked · 07/03/2017 22:14

If you had to choose between year 10 and thrush, I would choose the thrush.
I'm sure I read somewhere that if you dip a pheasant or was it a peasant in yoghurt, it is a really great thrush remedy. Homeopathy is just fantastic. If you can't find a pheasant, a partridge or quail is also fine. It does need to be a ground living bird though, obviously. Otherwise it would just be silly.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 07/03/2017 22:13

😂

TheFairyCaravan · 07/03/2017 22:12

We've got a family of pheasants. Mum, dad and 3 young ones. I think I'm covered should I get a bout of thrush for a while!

Original poster
Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 22:12

It's external MrDacre, so no tampon dunking for me for the moment. Trust a Puffin to get thrush, never mind the pheasants!

OP posts:
Maverick66 · 07/03/2017 22:12

An antihistamine will help with the itch. Not sure what it will do for the pheasant tho! Wink

MrDacresEUSubsidy · 07/03/2017 22:11

Sorry bitof Grin

Bitofacow · 07/03/2017 22:09

MrDacre I really think it is inappropriate to talk about 'chuffs' on a nice thread about ornithology and gardening.

I am clutching my pearls.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 07/03/2017 22:07

How to you trim a chaffinch?

MrDacresEUSubsidy · 07/03/2017 22:06

I've woken the dog up by laughing so much.

Itchy chuff is no fun. If you can't get to a chemist and you have natural yoghurt in the fridge then decant some into a small bowl or saucer, dunk a tampon in it and then insert the tampon. It is a bit messy - if you have a pantyliner or towel then it's worth wearing it for the, ahem, fallout. But it will help with the itching aka the temptation to claw your innards out with a rusty spoon

BaggypantsCrimplesnitch · 07/03/2017 22:04

I too have a persistent chaffinch in my bush. I really must get around to trimming it.

2017SoFarSoGood · 07/03/2017 22:04

It is just not nice that people like you make the poor plebs do all the dirty work in the lady garden Grin

Bitofacow · 07/03/2017 22:02

I have just been reading a thread about 'lady gardeners' - I think that is what it was called.

So now I am wondering about Ivy's topiary.

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