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Original poster

Oh FGS (TMI)

161 replies

Puffinsareblackandwhite · 07/03/2017 21:23

I am developing thrush. Because an itchy vagina is clearly what I needed on top of dealing with year 10...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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kaitlinktm · 11/03/2017 18:34

They might go with my blue footed boobies though, wonderfulworld

itsawonderfulworld · 11/03/2017 18:32

@Gamerchick, I'm picturing allsorts

Like this?

Allsort Peasant to the rescue!

Oh FGS (TMI)
itsawonderfulworld · 11/03/2017 18:22

He's a noisy bastard when he comes but I can't help but feed love him

That's exactly how I feel about DH!

I've got blue tits nesting in my garden. DS has rigged up a bird box camera, linked to the TV, and is fascinated. Very educational. I can recommend it.

(My phone tried to autocorrect "linked" to "look naked" just there. Even more educational. Not sure I want to display my naked blue tits on TV though. Or anywhere.)

tryinghardnottocry · 11/03/2017 17:31

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now

Go to the lady we all know.....at the chemist

HelenaGWells · 11/03/2017 15:46

My favourite part that has been overlooked is that the original and immense typo by @queenmortificado of Get to a chemist and get a peasant now. was followed by the very ominous sounding It will be over by the morning

I think there is some explaining to be done...

MSLehrerin · 10/03/2017 13:14

I used to work with a guy we nicknamed Canesten because he was such an irritating c*nt 😃

Wickedstepmum67 · 10/03/2017 12:47

'Peasant' sounds potentially a good thing depending on how attractive said peasant might be. 'Pheasant' ooo not so much! 😂

kaitlinktm · 09/03/2017 20:17

Awkward questions were asked when my cover class went home and said that their science teacher had been away and Miss Kaitlinktm had showed them a video about boobies: Sad Blush

MrsMoastyToasty · 09/03/2017 16:49

If you have problems with Brown Boobys and start eating like a Gannet then you could be pregnant .

Giddyaunt18 · 09/03/2017 12:39

Poor Baldrick! Or maybe he'd be happy with that arrangement, not much call for peasants these days.

MerryMarigold · 09/03/2017 10:45

How's the thrush, OP? I feel we need to establish what kind of thrush you have:

Mistle thrush: This is a pale, black-spotted thrush - large, aggressive and powerful.

The song thrush (Turdus philomelos) is a thrush that breeds across much of Eurasia. It has brown upperparts and black-spotted cream or buff underparts...The song thrush breeds in forests, gardens and parks, and is partially migratory. The song thrush builds a neat mud-lined cup nest in a bush or tree and lays four to five dark-spotted blue eggs. Like other perching birds (passerines), it is affected by external and internal parasites and is vulnerable to predation by cats and birds of prey.

Thegruffalowswife · 09/03/2017 00:17

My mums friend used to defrost her turkey in her back passage every christmas.

OhBlissOhJoy · 09/03/2017 00:17

I love how an accidental ornithology thread was started by Puffin Grin

OhBlissOhJoy · 09/03/2017 00:14

There was a pheasant wondering down my road yesterday
Was it wondering how this thread got so spectacularly derailed?

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 08/03/2017 23:47

"Hmm...which one of these will best help poor Puffins cure her affliction?" , pondered QueenMortificado...

Oh FGS (TMI)
MangosAndPapayas · 08/03/2017 23:39

Remember that tongue twister - I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son?

MN update:

I'm not a peasant fucker I'm a woman with thrush on the wrong end of an autocorrect.

Libitina · 08/03/2017 21:34

GrinGrinGrinGrin

I can't breathe for laughing!

Original poster
Puffinsareblackandwhite · 08/03/2017 21:24

Can I just applaud whoever in MN Towers labelled this thread "fanjo ornithology"??? I am so not saying this to draw attention to the fact that we are now discussion of the day AND nominated for Classics Grin

OP posts:
whenthetimecomes · 08/03/2017 18:39

Does it hurt when you peewit, OP?

Waltons · 08/03/2017 18:29

Best lark I've had for weeks, you peasant! Grin

QueenMortificado · 08/03/2017 18:19

I'm glad to have been of service Waltons Grin

Waltons · 08/03/2017 18:09

And by the way, I have jackdaw up my chimney. Grin

Helpful, OP?

Waltons · 08/03/2017 17:58

LornaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 08-Mar-17 09:42:25
Classics klaxon!

We're going to move this over, however, would you like to give it a bit more time in chat?

If so, just report to us when it's all posted out.

Leave it in Chat for now, Lorna, I'll watch it (with tears of laughter running down my face every time, thank you QueenMortificado Grin) and let you know when the gulls have 'owled enough.

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 08/03/2017 17:43

Seemed perfect for this thread... Grin Grin

Oh FGS (TMI)
ineedwine99 · 08/03/2017 17:20

Golden*!