Jesus fuck, my fanny is on fire!

Another hair removal cream here!
Day before I was being induced with DS2, I decided to do my armpits, so I'd be all smooth and feel very glamorous.
Slathered it all on, got in the shower and grabbed some of DH's Lush shower gel.
It's main ingredient was lemon.
It reacted with the hair removal cream and gave me acid burns.
I'm 99% that's what got me through labour, the pain in my pits was well worse than the pain in my lady bits.
The midwife ended up getting a doctor to prescribe burn cream!
Then, two days after birth, I ended up getting a bloody fungal infection in my armpit because all the skin was peeling and it got all vile and nasty.
I'm leaving them au natural for the foreseeable future 😷

I once waxed and then fake tanned and didn't avoid 'the area' enough. My god. The itching and burning lasted at least a week.

Savlon is good for burns

Absolutely LOVE this thread!!!! What does it say about me laughing at others misfortune...

You have my sympathy. I was going to link the amazon reviews, but lurkinghusband beat me to it. I can confirm that those reviews are indeed accurate. The particular company didn't pay any heed to the fact that for most men, instructions are something you look at once it's all gone wrong already.

I found that ice cold water gave a temporary relief to the lava like burning of my nethers. Sort of like tea-bagging a bowl of icy water. Longer term, savlon or bepanthen both gave some relief to the chemical burns !

RLD

Snotgobbler99

According to him, his starfish swelled up something horrible and turned into something more like an angry octopus

That story itself was hilarious but ^ that bit there made me inhale my southern comfort and it came out my nose. Such a mental image

I have really bad OCD and over the years i've had some bad times having to scrub myself with neat bleach and had a LOT of chemical burns. Personally i find the best thing to put on it isn't sudocrem but Savlon antiseptic cream. It's thinner, absorbs better, and took the majority of the sting/pain out for me within about 12 hours, if you put it on, thin layers, every 2 hours or so, it's what worked best for me.
In future though there isn't a single hair removal cream thats suitable for nethers. By bikini line they mean the ones on your thighs round the groin not the actual vulva.

I've got a horrid scar from 2 c sections and no nerve sensation around the top of my pubic hairline. So I used Veet once and didn't feel it burning.....I'd actually burned a hole 2" long and it was agony. We were also going on holiday the next day and I couldn't swim or use the hot tub we'd paid a small fortune for. Sudocrem helped massively and also Lanacane cream (www.boots.com/lanacane-anaesthetic-cooling-cream-medication-60g-10021926) as it's got local anaesthetic in. I share your pain OP - mine took nearly 2 weeks to heal and I honestly thought I was going to have to go to A & E .

I've read the reviews linked by Lurkinghusband before, they are great 😁
I stick to shaving although I epilate elsewhere 😀

OP does it burn everywhere or did you get it inside?

I did exactly the same thing a few years ago and posted about it here Only burned when I peed though, if it's burning all over you must be allergic to the cream!

LurkingHusband

The Veet reviews are classic - thanks for the link.

A friend of mine worked in a beauty salon, where one of the women decided she would do the old sugaring on herself (she normally did nails, but how hard could it be?). She went into one of the cubicles and there was a pause then a scream. Instead of smearing it on herself in a thin layer, she had picked up the whole heater and bowl and tipped it onto her upper thighs - to do it faster. Of course, it was far too hot. Then someone poured cold water on her and it set solid. It took the hospital quite some time to get it out but she was okay-ish......

I've done the same thing trying to Veet my tache. Did it for the first time, it said leave for two minutes which I stupidly decided not to time. Washed it off to reveal a bright red top lip which then dried out and went lovely and crusty for days. Covering it in foundation only made the dry flakiness more obvious.
To top it off the one weird really dark thick hair that caused me to do it in the first place was still there!

Aloe Vera is amazing. Put it in the fridge first as well.

I know someone who snorted Olbas Oil thinking it was like Vicks Nasal Spray.

Get some aloe vera to put on it. And let it air once you get home, for as long as possible.

I once bleached my hair and then died it red but it was more of a tint for dark hair than red dye and it went bright orange and I had to walk about like that for about a week ffs.

A story from my rugby playing days.

Pre match, a teammate attempted to slather his stiff back with 'Radian B' linament. Unfortunately, he used a bit too much and the 'run off' dribbled down his bum crack....

He ran about for several minutes shouting "Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!" and then spent the entire match with his arse in a washbasin. According to him, his starfish swelled up something horrible and turned into something more like an angry octopus (strangely, none of us volunteered to check it out)...

Forced to walk like John Wayne after the match, it became his nickname. thirty odd years on, he's still called 'John' by his oldest friends.

I don't bother with depilating now but when I did I found that putting Savlon cream (not the lotion) on the area first, then applying the hair removal stuff on top prevented most of the soreness. The hair removal bit will still work - as soon as you feel any discomfort for heaven's sake wash the entire stuff off. Don't wait and don't try to be brave.

I loved reading that link lurkinghusband - I've never referred to that part as a 'gentleman's log cabin' before! I must try to find an appropriate conversation to casually pop this in but probably not at the next cocktail party!

OP, hope you're feeling better today!

But more importantly... @Nicky42 - why on earth would you dry shampoo your minge?

^^ crying!

LurkingHusband - thanks for that link. Brilliant. This was my favourite, still grinning at it:

DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS

ByAndrewon 24 January 2012

Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

It'll be fine in about 24 hrs. I do this all the time as I to cannot be fucked to shave etc. After a couple of goes your skin gets used to it. Germolene on external bits?
Keep on breathing! :)

Ah. I've suffered that misfortune... ouch

I used this stuff once when i had ran out of wax and was in a rush - forgot i had it in my hands and had been sat on the bathroom floor twirling my actual hair on my head around - cue frantic shampoo after putting veet all over my head 😭

The Amazon review were hilarious too... now know where to go when I need a laugh!

OP how is your fanjo?

Oh my lord, laughing so much at this and the amazon reviews! 😂