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Mumsnet classics

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Original poster

Jesus fuck, my fanny is on fire!

130 replies

CatCafe · 02/03/2017 16:52

So, tired of stubble down there, I thought I might achieve a smoother result with hair removal cream. Chose a sensitive skin/ bikini-line safe one, didn't bother patch testing just slathered it right on.

When I rinsed in the shower it felt like I was pouring acid onto myself, it burns when I walk or move and I'm fucking terrified of what'll happen when I need to pee so torn between crossing my legs and leaving them open in hope of "airing" my afflicted area.

Now walking like John Wane and have a fanny slathered in half a tub of Sudocrem.

Cheer me up with similar tales of personal grooming gone wrong/ advice on how to stop the pain.

OP posts:

QuimReaper · 15/04/2026 16:55

@QuestionableMouse @Jeanne51 seems to have posted on it at the time too - would love to know what inspired you to bump it 9yrs later Jeanne

QuestionableMouse · 11/04/2026 01:41

Jeanne51 · 10/04/2026 13:54

Use sudocrem.

This thread was posted almost ten years ago in 2017

Jeanne51 · 10/04/2026 13:54

Use sudocrem.

Nanaof1 · 29/01/2024 06:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

danielfang · 21/01/2024 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Latenightreader · 09/03/2017 20:49

Au naturel, not aunt naturale. My goodness...

kwick · 09/03/2017 20:48

LOL late

Latenightreader · 09/03/2017 20:47

I was laughing so much at Edward Scissorfanny I phoned my Mum to read it to her.

I have a weird dislike to the way my pubes extend back and up the crack (I assume it is normal but googling pubic hair location is really not a good idea - trust me) even though I am quite fond of my aunt naturale front. I attempted to cold wax without trimming first and ended up sticking cheeks together. I can assure you that olive oil does the trick too, although there is unexpected stickiness for a few days...

yumchoc · 08/03/2017 21:39

Omg It make me feel better I did the same thing 10 years ago I feel your pain took three days to walk properly frozen peas said to cool the burn no under wear vaseline to protect skin

Cocolepew · 08/03/2017 21:17

6demandingchildren that is hilarious, your poor mum 😄

kwick · 08/03/2017 20:49

Thank you so much Lorna

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 07/03/2017 23:59

Thanks Lorna

MNHQ

LornaMumsnet · 07/03/2017 17:05

Hi all,

We're moving this over to classics now!

Longtime · 06/03/2017 17:43

Ds2 was using bacterial wipes instead of toilet wipes RJnomore1. When I questioned the wisdom of this, he replied "well it does say for all surfaces"!

SheWhoDaresGins2 · 05/03/2017 16:56

6demandingchildren

I have got such a headache after laughing so hard at your Mothers unfortunate events.

It was the story that just kept on giving

kwick · 05/03/2017 10:34

It is done

Nominations for inclusion in Mumsnet Classics
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/394563-nominations-for-inclusion-in-mumsnet-classics

kwick · 05/03/2017 10:31

fancied you are so right - this surely should be moved to "Classics"!!! I am going to tell MN so!!!!

sherbetpips · 05/03/2017 10:29

Oh no my friend did this she didn't realise that soap and hair removal cream should never come into contact with each other, she lowered her legs into a bubble bath, skin peeled off for weeks!

Notreallyhappy · 05/03/2017 09:55

Ooh. Been there done that.. sensitive toilet wipes from sainsburys and nappy rash cream did wonders. this helped too.

RachelRagged · 05/03/2017 09:48

Not a personal mishap but . .

Many years ago they used to put samples through the letterboxes of houses . Well in circa 1953 or thereabouts , my Great Grandad was home alone and a chocolate sample came through . So, he ate the lot . When the others came home he was back and forth to the toilet . . They found the wrapper , declared him a greedy old sod and serves him right . It was a sample of Laxatives . In his defence though the poor old boy could not read.

daisychain01 · 05/03/2017 06:48

Aching

daisychain01 · 05/03/2017 06:47

I hold this thread wholly responsible for extremely acing sides all weekend.

I love the Amazon reviews not least of all the one by 'Andrew' 35,602 people found this helpful I do hope his undercarriage has recovered since 2012

Fanciedachange17 · 04/03/2017 23:30

Ladies I salute you! I've nearly had an asthma attack laughing at all these wonderful stories. I hope this makes it into classics. Sorry for your pain though.

beautyguru · 04/03/2017 21:11

What a fantastic thread! Absolutely howling at Snotgobbler and 6demandingchildren!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry for all your pain people!!

Serialweightwatcher · 04/03/2017 20:04

Guilty of once spraying DH's lower back with copious amounts of Deep Heat and him screaming/swearing for quite a while when it dripped down his crack - and he gets piles, so not a happy bunny oops.

Talking of the Dead Sea - went to Israel years ago when I was 16 for a tour - decided to shave my legs the day before the Dead Sea trip and managed to shave off a chunk of leg around 4" long and 1" wide - bled all over the corridor I was running up and down screaming ... was the only one who couldn't go in float on the water.

My dear friend who has since passed once asked her bf to shave her foof for some op/pregnancy (can't remember which) - unfortunately he picked up the toothpaste instead and apparently it is a very painful minty experience

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