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Original poster

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

746 replies

00100001 · 23/02/2017 10:05

Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
feelitinyourbones · 25/02/2017 16:30

I'm pleased the Glasgow southside wankery gets the same reaction from so many of you. Lots of the tripadvisor reviews praise the unusual menu so I thought maybe I just wasn't enough of a hipster to find it amusing.

I hadn't even noticed your earlier post gigha but it seems no city can escape the wankery. It's not even the west end. Wink

Trottersindependenttraders · 25/02/2017 16:25

Peak wank has been reached - close the thread! 😂

Crying here!

BillyButtfuck · 25/02/2017 15:44

Feelit that menu is pure wank. What the hell have I just read Angry

MaryMorpho · 25/02/2017 15:10

OMG @ feelit's menu! That actually reads like someone veering off the deep end of wankery into full detachment from reality.

Gighasmokedhalibutisawesome · 25/02/2017 14:35

feelit and fellow anti-wankers.

Rather long ago in this thread, I may have foolishly suggested Glasgow was a low wankery environment.
Today you must all think of me as the Kellyanne Conway of the wankery thread. Not a sentence I expected to be typing ever and another good reason to hate the vile peak wankery that is the WTAF of that menu.
But thank you feelit, for exposing my alternative fact in such spectacular style. I stand corrected....and a bit mortified.

Sprink · 25/02/2017 13:50

...wankery in York

It is highly recommended that all reservations are made in advance

I genuinely know of no other way to make a reservation. Confused

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 25/02/2017 13:46

Apparently there's a bar in Peckham under the railway arches that is so utterly wanky that people travel specially from Shoreditch to go there.

MumBod · 25/02/2017 13:27

You want wankery in York?

have a look here

Sprink · 25/02/2017 13:27

koala...

Avocados
Friends
Gin
Wank

There. Fixed it for them.

Twoevils · 25/02/2017 12:55

Case in point Wanky kitchen 'manifesto'. So good it's in the sale. Here's the blurb:
"These Manifesto slogans were selected from over 600 suggestions made by our friends and customers and about 50 proposed by Team Pedlars, making these posters a truly collaborative effort.
Printed in the US, by hand, using ancient presses, by a tiny company that specialise in circus and political posters. On thick card.
We have deliberately priced these as low as possible to spread the word…..The Campaign for The Good Life starts here."

If that's not wank then I'm a french biscuit Wink

KenDoddsDadsDog · 25/02/2017 12:55

I've just seen a trendy barbers shop that has wanked itself silly - water spray bottles that are empty jack Daniels bottles. Really ?!

KoalaDownUnder · 25/02/2017 12:46

**

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...
Jeanne51 · 25/02/2017 12:38

When food is served on wood/slate. Aren't these materials porous?

Twoevils · 25/02/2017 12:36

I cannot believe the thread has got this far without a mention of Pedlars

Though the infamous spanner had long gone they are still a treasure trove of up-cycled rustic French barn wankery finds. I think they took Harry Enfield as a training video!

MN has had a few run ins with them in the past

Jeanne51 · 25/02/2017 12:29

Food served on a roofing tile made of slate. Totally wank.
Predictive text more wacky.
See I mean wanky.
Living in a rented open plan house whilst waiting to move to the dream house that is not fucking open plan.

Libitina · 25/02/2017 12:26

Feelit you have won the wankery crown on this thread. That menu hurts my brain!

PageStillNotFound404 · 25/02/2017 12:11

It used to be Kafeneion I think Castiel.

Castieldeansam · 25/02/2017 12:07

page I'm just embarrassed that's in York! Do you know what it used to be?

Original poster
00100001 · 25/02/2017 11:35

Oh my!
They're is an item for sale at a cost of "12 eggs 60 feathers"

I'm going to this place with a dozen eggs from tesco and a bag of craft feathers and paying with those! I'll leave the box as a tip!

Utter wank.

OP posts:
Jaagojaago · 25/02/2017 11:03

Reaching out = calling/emailing

Wankilicious crap

popcornpaws · 25/02/2017 10:50

Oh yes, the butterfly and the pig, passed it many times, looked at the reviews on trip advisor, thought the food seems nice…

Nope, just can bring myself to be involved in such pish!

feelitinyourbones · 25/02/2017 10:46

koala love the description peak wank

I visited with a group of exhausted mums of new babies on a rare night out and it was a real bloody struggle to actually order. I'd rather go to Wetherspoons along the road next time.

Although if I was feeling particularly arsey I might go back and ask them to order me in a pizza as suggested, oh so ironically, at the top of the menu.

Or try to pay in one of their alternative currency suggestions literally Grin

ArcheryAnnie · 25/02/2017 10:44

Have just read (a little bit of, as could not carry on) the food menu. That's absolutely unreadable.

I think someone drank too many Innocent smoothies as a child and it's warped them forever.

(I blame Innocent for the beginning of this baby-talk about food to adults.)

ArcheryAnnie · 25/02/2017 10:35

An "approachable" cup of coffee? As opposed to having to sidle up to one's usual caffeine fix with a chair and a whip?

I have fond memories of the coffee in my old works canteen that was basically liquid bitumen. It was amazing. A chair and a whip would be the least amount of respect due to it. (I liked it, to be clear.)

There's now a sort-of-costa bar there.

CowLickBuddha · 25/02/2017 10:34

The ultimate wankfest feelit. So far up their own bums they're coming back out their mouths.

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