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Original poster

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

746 replies

00100001 · 23/02/2017 10:05

Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

OP posts:
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26
phoebemac · 24/02/2017 10:09

I LOVE this thread.

My local hipster coffee shop displays its prices on a pegboard to one decimal place. So insteard of £2.50 has 2.5, which is what is charges for a latte served in a small glass tumbler. Coffee is nice though.

TizzyDongue · 24/02/2017 10:05

Isn't being a chain the opposite of what the whole hipster thing is about? Unless being ironic is the theme!

deluxetruffles · 24/02/2017 09:58

Inspirational slogans everywhere - totally wanktastic such as Live, laugh, love, written on practically everything (wall art, mugs, tea-towels, and worst of all, the free-standing words that serve no purpose)

Most things from Notonthehighstreet.com are a big pile of turgid wank.

A key ring with "I love you more than the moon and stars"? - wank
A framed picture saying "Home is where the prosecco is"? - wank

LynneJones · 24/02/2017 09:35

Yes Barbara a chain I think, i mean a meal of a trowel haha

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...
BarbaraofSeville · 24/02/2017 09:09

I think The Botanist is a chain, which is laughably ironic considering their wanky 'look how individual and different we are' attitude, as there is one in Leeds too.

We were laughing at their 'famous hanging kebabs' yesterday as there seems no easy or sensible way to eat them other than using a Halloweenesque 'bobbing for apples technique' as obviously they don't serve food on anything as staidly mainstream as a plate that is appropriately sized for eating food off.

LynneJones · 24/02/2017 09:04

Theres a restaurant in Birmingham called The Botanist, they serve your meal on a shovel, as they think its very trendy hahaha :)

TizzyDongue · 24/02/2017 08:30

I've just been thinking as I lie in bed (day off) I don't think there are any wanky coffee places near me. There's a Starbucks, Insomnia, Costa and many other restaurant/coffee places.

No hipster ones though: I feel deprived, are they normally frequent in thier existence?

BarbaraofSeville · 24/02/2017 08:16

CaoNiMa Did your Pa get something else instead or go elsewhere?

.

iloveeverykindofcat · 24/02/2017 07:58

Crumble it is an artisan steamed milk drink for your ethically sourced chihuahua.

CaoNiMa · 24/02/2017 07:41

My old Pa recently asked for a pint of Stella in a hipster bar. A supernaturally tall "mixologist" with a beard and a bun (and jeans rolled to the upper ankle) informed him with a sniff that "We don't serve mainstream beers here."

Wanky!

justagirl484 · 24/02/2017 06:39

HandsomeBoys I hate the chopping board thing- urggh

Newyearnewbrain · 24/02/2017 01:43

Serious wankery from my coffee this morning.

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...
Saltpot3 · 24/02/2017 01:40

Perfume marketing has been wanky for decades. (Or should that be 'scent' or 'fragrance' - not sure which is the current wanky term.) And all fashion writing - the whole sodding lot.

DJBaggySmalls · 24/02/2017 00:57

Egg cups with feet. And Tea For One sets where the teapot is balanced precariously on the mug.

scrulytrumptious · 24/02/2017 00:38

Has anybody nominated the teapots with 3 egg timers on top to enable you to time your cup to perfection? Seen for the first and positively the last time in Harris & Hoole, aka 'Tesco'

SinisterBumFacedCat · 24/02/2017 00:15

Wooden signs
with bland
SLOGANS
about wine
& dancing
& chocolate
in differents
TYPEFACES
So Wanky

SinisterBumFacedCat · 24/02/2017 00:04

Pulled pork - wanky, literally

Crumblevision · 24/02/2017 00:02

What the buggery fuck is a Puppachino???

claptomania · 23/02/2017 23:57

Thank you, whoever recommended We Want Plates upthread. Brilliant.

Can't agree with those claiming Costa Coffee is decent coffee though. Whatever you order in there, you end up with a bucket of weak, coffee scented, lukewarm milk.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 23/02/2017 23:46

Someone mentioned m&s. With their ad "not just any food...." I proclaim them the Forefathers of Wank. As for those John Lewis bastards, I don't even know where to start . We live, we buy shit, we die. No theme tune required. Angry

BBCNewsRave · 23/02/2017 23:24

Archery Was in SE Asia for me, but I guess just a thing anywhere they get money for the bottles. Can't believe I never realised why before, d'oh!

ArcheryAnnie · 23/02/2017 22:32

The drinks in bags thing: this is (or used to be) a Central/South American thing, where street vendors will tip a coke into a bag and tie it around a straw, because they get a deposit back on the glass bottles.

TheresHensInTheSkirting · 23/02/2017 21:59

Also,

Sprouted shite. Sprouted kale, sprouted cauliflower, sprouted sprouts Confused
Definitely wanky.

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/02/2017 21:50

Oh and anything in a frickin MLM Facebook page.

Never has the world seen so many "amazing" products and write ups with every emojii going.

I like emojis but overkill is just wanky

No you aren't in your office. You are sat in your pants stuffing your face with crap and you haven't showered in three days as that's how long it's taken to emphasise all the #amazeballs products

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/02/2017 21:44

Touch base/ reaching out.

You mean you are going to call me?

Any thing deconstructed

Pure wank