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Original poster

Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

746 replies

00100001 · 23/02/2017 10:05

Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 24/02/2017 19:01

Can I offer "toasted bread"? There's a name for it, it's toast.

Helcl · 24/02/2017 18:57

One that really annoys me....TV chefs with their 'plate of food' !!! Grrrr!!!!!! Utter wank

The80sweregreat · 24/02/2017 18:54

In my day Shoreditch was just a place in london.

Agree that school Proms and the associated cost and general hysteria over it all is one big load of rubbish . So sorry for anyone coming up to that!
How that took hold, and stayed, is beyond me.

rslsys · 24/02/2017 18:52

Wankery lack of product knowledge.
"Regular Americano, please"
"Would you like milk in that?"
"No, by definition an Americano in black . . . "

sparechange · 24/02/2017 18:46

We had family over last week during half term, and took them to our local wanky pub where their food was served in wanky mini pans
SIL sent me a photo a few days later of them eating their dinner out of the little pans from their play kitchen, because they wanted to recreate the pub lunch

Doomed, they are. And it's all my fault

PageStillNotFound404 · 24/02/2017 18:45

An "approachable" cup of coffee? As opposed to having to sidle up to one's usual caffeine fix with a chair and a whip?

HelpTheTigers · 24/02/2017 18:42

I love this thread, but have spent fricken wanky yonks looking up words and phrases that I've never wanky heard of. I must be so uncool that I mustn't be too wanky (hope.....)

TizzyDongue · 24/02/2017 18:42

Gighasmokedhalibutisawesome as soon as I read it I thought of Mellow Birds.

Its lightly roasted beans seemingly (them there coffee beans that aren't actually beans)

Gighasmokedhalibutisawesome · 24/02/2017 18:39

Tizzy er, otherwise known then, as a weak, watery coffee? Or, spotting the mellow reference in there, maybe its a vintage, retro, deconstructed Birds!!!!

Annoyance · 24/02/2017 18:33

Shoreditch. It's a one stop hipster shop full of wanky things and wanky people. Fuck Shoreditch.

massi71 · 24/02/2017 18:32

Need gone.

On Facebook selling sites

TizzyDongue · 24/02/2017 18:24

Well apparently blonde coffee is "Lighter-bodied and mellow, Starbucks® Blonde Roast coffees awaken the senses gently. They’re subtle and soft with mellow acidity, and deliver an approachable and flavourful cup with slight hints of roast."

So now you know ...

Original poster
00100001 · 24/02/2017 18:20

Latte Art = wanky

OP posts:
randomer · 24/02/2017 18:20

hideous American style wankery....proms

oobedobe · 24/02/2017 18:18

Drove past Starbucks just now in the window they are advertising a Blonde Espresso, what's that then a coffee with milk in??? Made me think of this thread Confused

MyNameIsJane · 24/02/2017 18:16

@WindwardCircle

You are my people! 😆
I HATE:

The Spring Edit
The Hygge Edit
Grr Edit

Super Wanky'

pieceofpurplesky · 24/02/2017 18:15

They served a very wanky deconstructed Eton mess in a restaurant the other day .... so basically strawberries, meringue and cream but not squished!

Avocado appears to be this month's wankery addition to everything, taking over from whatever was trendy last month. V trendy coffee shop behind king's cross has the most deliciously gorgeous wankery food .... they serve red quinoa and organic oat almond milk porridge

pregnantat50 · 24/02/2017 18:01

I quite like Mellow Birds :)

Tech2016 · 24/02/2017 17:56

How on earth did you eat it !!

PageStillNotFound404 · 24/02/2017 17:52

Estate agent wankery is on a whole other split level. And speaking of levels, I notice flats are now described as "lateral". "This stunning lateral apartment boasts a spectacular versatile living space".

Gighasmokedhalibutisawesome · 24/02/2017 17:51

AndShesGone Grin
HelpTheTigers ooh an excellent one. Boasts is another nails on blackboard abuse. Extra special in the London market where frankly dire accommodation is glowingly marketed, presumably boasting a door, window that opens and shuts, and an indoor toilet.

PixieMiss · 24/02/2017 17:47

The Alchemist serves its chicken and chips in a chicken shaped wire basket Hmm

Hair shampoo adverts are wanky. Listing their ingredients as "essence of this", "infused with that". Am I rubbing it on my head or am I consuming it?!

Mummybythebeach · 24/02/2017 17:47

School photos that are taken at a jaunty angle, so you have to tip your head sideways to look at it = wanky.

cabbage67 · 24/02/2017 17:42

I'm loving this thread so much

HelpTheTigers · 24/02/2017 17:33

My personal hate is when an Estate Agent narrative includes the word 'boasts', as in 'the attic boasts distant views of the hills' or 'the house boasts three large bedrooms and an en-suite'. Double wanky with an extra knob on.